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How do I get over the guilt?

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Old 03-02-2011, 02:26 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 365
supermom3 HB User
How do I get over the guilt?

Hi - I have dealt with OCD/Health Anxiety for years now - I have been on (am still on) Effexor and Buspar for the OCD/Anxiety and it's helped a lot but I still go thru phases from time to time where I worry about things like getting cancer - my therapist in the past felt it was more of a fear/anxiety about death and dying as I lost my mom to cancer in 2005 - I have a wonderful husband and three awesome kids (who are 20, 18 and 15) and I feel horrible that they have been affected by this - when I go thru phases with this (I usually go weeks or months just fine) and they see me upset and ask what's wrong, I don't know if I should tell them the truth or lie to them - I feel guilty for lying, but at the same time I don't want them to feel sad/confused by what I'm going thru - (I've also had therapy in the past). They don't understand it because they don't have OCD/health anxiety.

Do I just keep telling myself that I can't do the past over but that I can make it up to them in the present and the future?

thank you,

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Old 03-03-2011, 07:14 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: IA
Posts: 20
roycedafive9 HB User
Re: How do I get over the guilt?

Greetings Supermom3,

I can certainly empathize with you. And I know by experince of how it is hard for loved ones to understand your pain if they themselves have never felt it., but they seem to know have sincer concern for you! I have had a history of anxiety (mostly general anxiety and panic attacks). And I had eventually gotten to a point I no longer needed meds, anxiety was under control for more than 4-5 years. Recently I had some chronic pain issues, in which I had outpatient surgery, and the problem was fixed. The issue however, is during that time of 2-3 months of not knowing exactly what it was (i.e. cancer, tumor, diease, etc.), I had seemingly formed a form of health anxiety. I guess it made me realize that although I am kind young -pushing 35, Im not as young as I used to be, and cancer is a word that I cant seem to get out of my vocabulary.

I am not therapist, but, in my experince, I share all I can with my wife. She was with me when I was going through my anxiety problems before, it was rough. Yeah, sometimes she does not get it, however, just by her being aware let her know I am going through a tough time. I cant always rely on my wife to understand the anxiety aspect of my mental distress, but she tries.

"Do I just keep telling myself that I can't do the past over but that I can make it up to them in the present and the future?"

I cannot say much about your kids, my daughter is a mere 9, however, anxiety and phobias are a diease to me, so if you really had a health problem, would you keep that from them? Or would share with them and expect them to support you through your struggles? What makes your health anxiety any different? I would think by not telling them the truth may make your situation worse. Kids and young adults can tell when parents arent always telling everything, at least I could tell when I was a young teen, it only made me worry about my parents even more.

I hope this helps. Cheers.

Old 03-04-2011, 08:41 AM   #3
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3
Burkie HB User
Re: How do I get over the guilt?

Supermom3, you don't have to struggle in silence. I too have been dealing with the anxiety and panic. I have found that it made it worse to hide how I was feeling. It is liberating to be able to say out loud "I'm ok just anxious or just having a panic attack". Sounds like your family loves you and will support you. Remember that everyone needs help from time to time- even Supermom. Good luck.

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