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Need to know what to do

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Old 07-21-2011, 04:39 AM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Metairie,LA
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TiredinLA HB User
Need to know what to do

My wife and I are married 41 years, 2 grown and successful children, 3 grandchildren. I am not sure if something my wife does is OCD but her behavior is driving a wedge between us and between her and our children. Maybe someone here can help.

She gets on these binges of monomania, for instance she is currently reading some book on staying young and keeping healthy, good, I like to walk and stay in shape. But she wants me to read the book, OK, but she wants everyone she meets and interacts with to read the book. It is the topic of 90% of her conversations with people, "you have to read this book". I went to the dentist yesterday, a week after she went, the receptionist, the hygenist, the dentist were kidding kind of, asking me "I hope you read your wife's book, that's all she wanted to talk about."

It is not just the book, before that it was her new hobby, quilting. Everyone she met, including men, she would try to get interested in quilting, she was obsessed with quilting.

She goes from one thing to another, for a time completely obsessed with that one thing.

Is this a type of OCD?

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Old 07-21-2011, 08:06 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Carolina
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Eyes2thesky HB UserEyes2thesky HB UserEyes2thesky HB UserEyes2thesky HB User
Re: Need to know what to do

Okay, I'm going to take a stab at this one. Most people commonly use the word "obsession" to describe something that someone likes or enjoys a LOT. "That girl is obsessed with online shopping."

The truth however is that an obsession is actually something you dont want to think about. However, because you try so hard not to think about it (usually it scares you or worries you in some way) you cant help but think about it because your brain naturally wants to think it due to the emotion thats attached to it. "If I dont wash my hands after touching the door handle, I might catch a disease and die. I better wash my hands" the fear of catching a disease and dying is the obsession, washing the hands to prevent this fear is the compulsion.

So.. to answer your question, yes there is such thing as a Pure-Obessional (but its not with something like the fact that she wants to quilt, unless she believes quilting will save her from some sort of looming doom that she fears).

My personal answer (mind you, I have no PhD, or psychological background other than secondhand knowledge that I've learned from others) No, I dont believe your wife has OCD.

Old 08-02-2011, 03:19 PM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA
Posts: 1
malaika8806 HB User
Re: Need to know what to do

I will have to agree with Eyes. I don't hear anything OCD-related in your description. Also, I don't mean to come down on you, but if the biggest issue in your marriage is your wife's desire to have hobbies, then I think you have it pretty good. You said you've been married for a long time, and it's probable that she is either bored or feeling as if she is not being productive enough. I don't know if she still works, or how much of her day is "occupied" with activities, family, friends, etc., but maybe she is just at that place in her life where she wants to be doing something, or more things, and quite frankly I see nothing wrong with that. As far as telling everyone she knows about her flavor-of-the-month, well, she could just be excited about it. I'm not sure I understand why this is creating a distance between the two of you. It sounds like she just wants to take advantage of life. If it annoys you, maybe you could try to introduce something "new" that the two of you could enjoy together, and it wouldn't be an obsession anymore, but a learning experience, and, ideally, it would be fun. Or you could breach the topic of what, if anything, she feels is lacking in her life (you can answer, as well), and the two of you could make the changes necessary to benefit both of you.

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