It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Is this OCD?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 08-13-2010, 09:48 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: los angeles
Posts: 1
hearts10 HB User
Exclamation Is this OCD?

hey guys
i was just loig on google if anyone else had intrusive thoughts and i found this website...sorry im my problem on ur thread but i really want u guys to comment/help me. so, i don't know if i have ocd, but around a year ago, i started getting this one throught that kept popping into my head whenever i thought or talking about my mom, later same thing happened when i thought or talked about my parents. i love my mom, i love my dad, and my bf. they're the most important thing in my life, and i would wanna die instead of letting on of them die. the same time it started , my mom had to leave to ukraine cuz my grandma was in coma (she's alive, thank God!)...i care about my family and care about them a lot, but these bad, crazy thoughts of me wanting them to die or some other bad things keep popping into my head. i don't want that. i know i don't! the thoughts are in the 1st person. i think about the point of being alive often,, i think that i think of death more than most ppl... sometimes, i dont feel like myself. i hear my thoughts but i don't seem to caer about anthing, feel no love for anybody.. today i went hiking my mom and i was looking at a cliff and saw myself falling from it and h ow the world would go on.. other days, i feel like myself, happy, but intrusive thoughts always come back.sometimes, when im with my bf, i start crying becase i'm scared of things not being this way anymore. i think this thing with my grandma had i big impact on me (i was and continue to be) very close to her, although she's back in ukraine. i've tried talking to my mom about all these things around 6 months ago, but she says that i'm fine and everything's fine, and i don't want her to be upset or worried. i can't afford a therapist, nor would i be comfortable telling someone everything that goes on in my mind. i feel soooooo guity for having those thoughts.. i don't mean them, and i don't want them. recently, around a month ago, when i see a knife, i have crazy thoughts .. when im cooking for my bf, i see mestabbing him. he's the best person in the world. he's my best friend, my everything, i would never ever do that. i've had this or a similar thought like 3 times, and it scares me soooo much. just when i hold i knife, i think of sorry this is so long, but i really need ur imput or just support... i feel depressed sometimes, but it goes away. recently, i started thinking about my childhood and the things that i remember most vividly is my grandpa being physically and verbally abusive to my grandma and my mom (never to me), i remember hiding under the table, sitting in the kitchen while watching my grandma , my grandpa coming and hitting her with his fist across the face. i remember my childhood swing that angered him and the chaos of that day. i hate my grandpa, but the anger went away. i think that my crazy thoughts should be about him , if anything, not the ppl i love most in my life. also, im 21, so im going through the whole independency phase . i'm sorry i wrote so much... thank u guys in advance..

Sponsors Lightbulb
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Fear of helplessness... stargirl193 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 5 09-01-2005 07:49 PM
I need advice really bad! Tricia Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 8 06-18-2004 08:20 AM
I'm scared of ants! Tricia Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 2 04-07-2004 04:29 AM
Fear of death AngelaDarling Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 18 07-11-2001 02:43 AM
The..Candyman Felice Phobias 1 06-26-2001 08:40 AM
Fear of fainting in public Uptight Phobias 6 06-26-2001 12:05 AM
of embarasment......... buck58 Phobias 6 06-14-2001 04:17 PM
Scared of Roaches!! Don't know why!? Pimpleface Phobias 2 06-11-2001 05:56 PM
Fear of being poisoned or drugged Scaredy Kat Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 1 06-03-2001 10:37 PM
Fear of Heart Stopping While Sleeping Dax Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) 2 05-25-2001 09:05 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:20 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!