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Can you help me? Is it relationship OCD?

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Old 01-01-2012, 06:52 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: GA
Posts: 3
anthropology12 HB User
Can you help me? Is it relationship OCD?

This is the first time I've ever looked at boards or read the threads.
I hope someone can help me understand relationship OCD.

I was going to a therapist for 4 months now to try to help. She sits there while I talk and does nothing to help me. She told me to buy a workbook, which I did. She still doesn't help. Just sits there and looks uncomfortable and awkward. I've decided to try to find a new person.

On my last visit she told me to look into Relationship OCD.

In my life, I've dated a lot and had several boyfriends.
Sadly all the relationships end because of my bad habits. I'm hoping someone can relate.

The first month of a new relationship is amazing, everything is wonderful.

Then I start searching for problems and bring it up to my partner. I might say their Ex wife is interfering in our relationship or things are getting boring, or they may not be romantic enough. I also start to wonder if we are "THE ONE" for one-another. I also fear wasting time with the wrong person.

I start digging for issues. I also start Googling or looking up their exs on ********. I HAVE NO idea why.

Most people with OCD would call this "CHECKING" I guess?

My nitpicking can fluctuate from week to week. I always look for issues.
I also will start to find the person repulsive or unattractive. I start to notice physical or emotional things I don't like about them. I feel like these thoughts run and run through my head during random times. I will constantly think about negative things they Do,say, look,act-- Anything.

I haven't had a long term relationship in years. I continue to have short ones.
I had a 3 year relationship once and that person cheated on me. I also remembering nit picking that person.
For some reason he "tolerated it" for some time.

I'm not sure what to do, because I want to get married one day. Being in a relationship makes me happy. I think I make a great girlfriend and hopefully one day..wife..mother.

However, I constantly battle this struggle of picking out flaws or creating drama.
I almost wonder if my brain becomes bored or needs something to keep busy. I hope someone can relate out there and help.

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Old 01-03-2012, 02:54 PM   #2
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 142
wowzers HB User
Re: Can you help me? Is it relationship OCD?

i know what ROCD claims to be, but so many posts on OCD forums these days are by people who claim they have it without symptoms of actual OCD that i have a hard time believing it really exists. i think if you don't have symptoms and/or have not been diagnosed with regular OCD (and it sounds like you have not), you probably don't have ROCD; or in more practical terms, you probably aren't mentally instable/obsessive about relationships in an OCD manner.

my personal opinion, but, someone with OCD that had your problems would counter these problems with a compulsive act to alleviate the attempts you make at jeopardizing relationships when you are in them. OCD people wash their hands a lot so they hopefully don't get sick, and sickness is something they obsess about. unfortunately i don't really know how to help your particular problem, but i would be very surprised if it were any derivative of OCD.

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