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Why am I thinking this way?

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Old 03-17-2012, 10:16 AM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 1
Sarah21b HB User
Why am I thinking this way?

So ever since October I have been sufferering from awful thoughts that I don't want to have at all!! I love life and enjoy it very much. Except every single day for 5 months(there hasn't been one day that I haven't had it) I have these thoughts. Examples would be- if i see a rope or string I think of hanging myself. If I see sissors or knifes I think of stabbing myself. If I walk by a railing or open window I think of jumping out. And not only do I think of it personally I also think of other people dying too. I don't like driving because I fear of running my car into a person or another vehicle and I can't be home alone because I get these thoughts telling me that's the perfect time to hurt myself. Yesturday someone mentioned a river, I pictured someone drowning in it. I get upset with these thoughts because I don't want to think them but I feel like I have little control. I am constantly researching and thinking of all the things that could be wrong with me. Everytime i think of something that it could be I feel a bit of reassurance but it never lasts. I have recently read about Pure-O OCD but I am not sure if that could be it, does it sound like it? I don't have depression or anything, and these thoughts tend to define me but I would never want to act on any of them!!
So I was wondering if what I am feeling is anything? Pure-O OCD?

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