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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Message Board

Aniexty Or Something Else: Suffering In Silence For Years

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Old 08-18-2012, 06:12 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Aniexty Or Something Else: Suffering In Silence For Years

First of all I know that most of the people here are not doctors or anything like that, But I seem to have this unending fear of having HIV/AIDS having various cancers especially, Lung Cancer, Mouth Cancer, Throat and Skin Cancer, Also scared of having diabetes. Not just that but I am in constant fear that my family members are going to die or something bad is going to happen. I just can never seem to be content and always jumpy, discontent, easily irritated and impatient, I can barely sleep for most of the week but when I do sleep I will be out for almost a whole day.

Further when I leave the house, I constantly check the door is locked, The windows are locked, The taps are all tightly shut, All the plugs with electronics connected are switched off incase of a fire from electrical failure, I also check the cooker is off incase its leaking gas, and I check the smoke alarms aswell. Same with the car I check the doors for several minutes and the boot/trunk of the car to make sure its all locked.

Do you think I am just a careful person, Do I really have these diseases and will these bad things really happen if I drop my level of vigilance? To address the HIV/AIDS fear I was going to go get tested at a clinic but I was fearful that the results would be positive or even that I did not have HIV/AIDS until I went to the clinic because the doctor made a mistake and used the wrong needle and accidentally infected me with the virus?

Ive been living like this or suffering like this for a long time, Many years, Its just been very uncolored lifestyle and nothing seems to make me happy because I am always worried about things. Even with Exams I am always scared and worried, I have trouble breathing when entering the examination hall and If I dont get distinctions or Merits or top level grades I feel really really bad, But once I scored only 54% in a paper that I still passed but I could have got 90% odd if I didnt panic and make it harder than it actually was.

I guess what I am asking is, Am I just a very careful and cautious person that likes to be prepared for the worst and hedge his bets, Or are these fears real and therefore I should not drop my vigilance, Or is this some kind of cognitive anxiety disorder? I really need to do something to fix whatever is wrong with me, If I have HIV/AIDS I need to go get tested but my doctor needs to understand that I need to be prepared to go in, I have asked for a Saliva test incase the needles are mixed up with a blood test. I also had a skin rash that I thought was HIV rash or Skin cancer and she said it was a common rash caused by humidity. If I say HIV/AIDs she simply says go get tested but doesnt seem to understand the deep seated fear that I have that the test is positive or that the needles are mixed up. I need help to be prepared for that eventuality.

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Old 08-18-2012, 10:40 AM   #2
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Miami, Florida USA
Posts: 31
Suisse85 HB UserSuisse85 HB User
Re: Aniexty Or Something Else: Suffering In Silence For Years

Your anxieties do not seem to be rooted in reality. You sound as though you have obssessive compusive diesorder with intrusive thoughts and fears about your and everyone else's health.

From what you say here, it sounds as tough a counselor who is familiar with treating OCD might be a good place for you to start. Your fears are starting to get in the way of your life.

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