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majorie 12-02-2012 12:18 PM

i just cant stand these bad thoughts
I have always had bad thoughts running through my head since I was at the age of ten. I would just find myself thinking about how I'm going to go to hell and that I belong to the devil or sometimes think about how I want my mom and brother to get hurt or die . This got to a point where it just used to stress me out and it robbed my childhood and joy. I'm at the age of twenty though sometimes I find myself at peace when these thoughts go away but they just come back and honestly I'm really tired sick and tired I try praying so that these thoughts can just vanish but it seems to be getting worse. A few months back it got so intense such that I was even afraid to be alone cause the time I would be alone I would just find myself battling with these thoughts and it would just drain and depress me ,I even lost so much weight. Honest truth is I love my mom and my brother and I don't want any of this to happen to them . It really breaks my heart that I have such evil thoughts in my head but I just can't stop these thoughts anymore . I hate evil negative thinking ,

It has robbed me of my joy and peace . I am a christian and I believe in jesus and God but sometimes I find myself just doubting and lacking faith and I know its because of negative thinking. I just don't know what to do anymore I'm sooo drained I really wish God could just answer my prayers and get rid of all this toxic thinking. Its really sad ,its depressing sometimes I just want to kill myself cause I feel I will never be able to control my thoughts so there's really no point in living. I would rather die than live like this .

Please can somebody just help me ,pray for me or anything

noluke 12-02-2012 02:46 PM

Re: i just cant stand these bad thoughts
I think I know how you feel. Don't be disheartened, just keep on going and you will get through your problems. I'm having trouble as well at the moment. About all these horrible thoughts your having, you know that it isn't you thinking those thoughts, it's your OCD. Just don't give up and try to relax. This probably hasn't helped but I thought that maybe someone letting you know that your not alone might help.
I hope you get better soon. :)

majorie 12-03-2012 12:22 AM

Re: i just cant stand these bad thoughts
Thanks a lot hey I'll just try to relax ..I kinda feel better cause knowing that there's people going through this ,I used to think that maybe I'm weird and that nobody ever comes across such toxic thinking.

don k 12-04-2012 10:31 AM

Re: i just cant stand these bad thoughts
i know how you feel ,just try to forget it and don't give much of a deal and continue your daily life , just keep it in and don't let it control you no matter what . :)

rohan1tkr 12-14-2012 02:03 PM

Re: i just cant stand these bad thoughts
Though i have OCD of some other type,I can very much understand......

First of all,Let me tell you.....That getting thoughts....especially the very evil ones is normal....very NORMAL.......The best of us get the worst of thoughts......

Secondly, The funny thing about the human mind is,When you're running away from a thought, it starts coming more into your head.....When you try to forget something forcefully, You eventually get reminded of it more....That's simply because for forgetting something you have to get reminded of it in the first place......So, don't try to run away from your thoughts cause they will occur more in that case....Accept them.....accept defeat in front of them.......that you cant forcefully forget them.....At the same time.....Try asking yourself,"I love them so much......Would I ACTUALLY harm ACUALLY?"

Thirdly, if you have this feeling of guilt, if you feel like you're a bad person or something on similar lines..... Realize the fact that many things in this world are not under our control......The thoughts are not under our control......But the very fact that you feel guilty about them,ITSELF shows that you're a good person...

Fourthly, if you feel down and depressed.....Make yourself realise.....that you've faced this thing for like many've gone through a lot of've been through a lot of bad......when you go through a lotta bad,God surely has better plans for you in the future......(Like in the future when you get over this,You'll feel so mentally strong that after overcoming from something like this you can face any other problem in the world!!!!Like anything!!!!!)

Lastly please visit a counselor who specialises in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT) and and ERP(Emotional Response Prevention).....I've not personally gone through these therapies but have heard a lot about them, how much they help, and will be gettin help for my ocd very soon......

So GOOD LUCK!!!and cheer up....
Hope this helps!!!!:D

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