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    Old 11-04-2013, 04:30 PM   #1
    Enchanted1's Avatar
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    Enchanted1 HB User
    Relationship OCD

    Hey guys
    I have been with my boyfriend 6 months, but have known him for a over a year and a half, and we were best friends within this time.
    I'm 17, and liked him for a long time before going out with him.

    I've been constantly doubting the relationship for 4 months and it just makes me so unhappy. I was researching and came across Relationship OCD and I'm pretty certain that I have it. This is because my boyfriend is everything I could of dreamed of. He's the most genuine boy, has such a good heart, will be a good father, shares common interests and beliefs. But then I doubt whether he's right for me? For example, before dating, he made me laugh to the point of tears, and now that just doesn't happen, and it makes me feel like I shouldn't be with him because he doesn't make me laugh as much as other boys etc.
    It's so hard to be fully content in the relationship as doubts are constantly flooding my mind.

    One half of me wants to marry him, have children with him, grow old with him.
    The other half questions whether he is the 'one', as I always thought you would know when you met them, and this half questions whether I should end it instead of dragging him on while I'm feeling like this as I've had the doubts for the majority of our relationship. I always thought you knew when you had met 'the one', you know when someone's your soulmate. And as I'm having to question it, it makes me wonder whether I should just end the 'inevitable break up' before we get in too deep, or whether this could be relationship OCD and breaking up with him could be the worst decision of my life?

    When we did argue at one point, I suggested we go on a break (I blamed it on me not being good enough for him, but really I wanted to see how the break would make me feel) and because the next day we both knew that we hadn't ended last night on good terms and had only gone a few hours without texting, I felt sick and lost, and so did he, and as soon as he messaged me I felt whole and happy again.
    And at times like that, I feel on top of the world to be his girl. Then I just breakdown at times like this and just feel horrible for even posting such a thing on the internet, but I'm so lost and confused, I just don't know what to do!

    It would kill me to lose him but... would it be the right thing? Would I be acting impulsively on the relationship OCD and would it be a mistake just because I don't feel those necessary 'fireworks' or 'butterflies' or 'gut feelings? Or can I work past these doubts?

    Any comments will be appreciated, thank you

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    Old 11-27-2013, 04:08 AM   #2
    sarasota1's Avatar
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    Re: Relationship OCD

    Hang in there!
    love has nothing to do with it !
    your brain is acting out of fear and anxiety I have been telling with this for 2 years and the struggle is in your head! not in your relationship.
    I have been seeing a cbt therapist for six months and he has helped me tell with my thoughts,
    Remember relationships are like this some times you feel love other times you wont.

    Old 11-27-2013, 08:03 AM   #3
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    Re: Relationship OCD

    Maybe your boyfriend wasn't putting as much effort into it not making you laugh as much as before...

    Just normal behavior as a relationship goes on. Peole relax more and take things for granted.

    Best of luck... I hope you can work it out.....

    Old 12-14-2013, 12:34 PM   #4
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    Re: Relationship OCD

    I, too, suffer from the same thing. I was happy with my boyfriend and still believe I am, I just realize that my anxiety and OCD behaviours are causing me to think the craziest things, like breaking up with him for no reason. Especially because prior to my panic attack I was on top of the world with him. I think the reason we jump to so many conclusions comes down to something so simple: We just feel off. We feel off, we need a fix, and we need to get rid of the "problem" and we try to create something that is not necessarily there. Like," Well I don't feel good, I'm thinking these thoughts, it must be true" Which just fuels the anxiety even more. And when we feel off, although we may smile and physically want to be with them, even though our minds are acting differently, that's OK. I realize actions speak louder than words, and really caring about the person sometimes means laying there with them, even when you know your mind doesn't feel right. Because us feeling off just means we can't enjoy them like we used to - it's not because of them, but because of OUR current state of mind. That puts more pressure, because when you're together you don't feel happy go lucky in love like before. But its just the current state of mind throwing you off. Think of how you are with everyone else around you, I bet youre not happy go lucky, because he is the most important person to you right now and if things don't right with him, I guarantee things don't feel right anywhere else. Because it is not a direct reflection of our true emotions, just of that temporary feeling. You're not alone Hope I helped.

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    doubts, love problems, ocd, relationship ocd, relationship ocd obsessive compulsive disorder

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