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Senselessramble 12-12-2013 03:23 PM

Obsessive jealousy
I am new to this board and am desperately seeking advice. Just a quick mental health background: I was recently diagnosed with ADD and am currently taking adderall 10mg x2 a day. This has made a huge difference in my life and I notice a huge improvement. Anyways, my entire life (as far as relationships go) I have had a horrible problem with jealousy. Examples: I get intense feelings of anger and rage whenever there is any attractive female around my significant other and I, I hate watching any television shows or movies that contain female nudity with him (I will go as far as avoiding any movies that I know have very attractive females in them), I get angry at the thought of the possibility of attractive women being wherever he is, I avoid introducing him to my pretty friends and avoid social situations where pretty women may be because I know I will just get upset. I am COMPLETELY aware of how irrational these thoughts are. I am married with a six month old and my husband and I are absolutely crazy about one another. I know that he would never cheat on me and he goes out of his way to make me feel good about myself and although I'll catch him glancing at women, it is never more than a glance and I probably wouldn't even notice if I wasn't watching his every move when other women are around. I was overweight in high school, but am in pretty good shape now and I have always been considered attractive to other people, but no matter what I can't seem to shake this self conscience feeling. I am obsessed with how my body looks and don't even like being naked in front of my husband (and I want to be naked on front of him!) In my mind there is this obsession with looks. Like I am expected to look a certain way, like he sees my flaws like I do, like seeing pretty women makes him wish I looked a different way or that he could do something with a more attractive woman. I am wondering if this could be some sort of OCD (I also have issues with anxiety that have yet to be addressed) because no matter how irrational I know these thoughts are and no matter how incredibly hard I try to suppress my rage, I just can't. I never lash out at him about my jealousy because I am embarrassed by it, but I will be instantly mad and he never knows why. These are issues that I can't live with. I want to make friends and enjoy going out without these obsessions. Please let me know if you have any insight or experience with this. I appreciate it so much!

I also obsess over small symptoms it have and will spend hours or days looking up what could be wrong with me and always convince myself something is wrong with me. This is another "obsession" I have. So even though that's what I might be doing right now, I am hoping so much that I can get some sort of relief from both of these things. They are having a seriously ill effect on my quality of life.

millieann 02-10-2014 07:00 AM

Re: Obsessive jealousy

All I can say is that I do 100% understand how you are feeling and what you are going through.
Big kiss.

Ver8ert 02-14-2014 12:31 PM

Re: Obsessive jealousy
I don't know what you have, but it seems to come from your insecurities about your looks. I guess you always compared yourself to other women and you're still doing it. Many women have that (so do I. A little less extreme than you, but still very bad!). I'm not sure if you have trust issues in general or in men.

Have you tried being more sexy for him? Take a nice bath, shave your legs, moisturize your skin with nice smelling cream, wear something sexy/flattering,... If you feel confident, you'll feel sexier and you will become sexier. It might be a big step at first, but it can break some boundaries. And it will surprise him and make him see a whole other side of you. It might give you some extra confidence and that might be a first small step forwards. In the beginning you can do things like dim the lights a little if it's too hard. Or maybe wear a revealing outfit to welcome him home from work, give him some whine, serve his favorite food and massage his shoulders. Tease him a little. I'm sure the look on his face will make you more confident for the future.

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