| Re: High maintanence child with bad attitude at home
Your daughter may be feeling like she does not measure up to the first child. Parents think they are being equal/fair with all children but they may dote more on the first child.
Does your first and second child get along or do they fuss and fight all the time. Yes, it is normal to a degree to fuss with each other, on the other hand it may not be in this case.
Remember the second child is living in the shadow of the first child. They each have their special qualities and must not be compared to each other. One may excel in one thing and the other in something else. Recognize and praise the second child for things too.
You need to spend quality time alone with the 7 year old, do things with her part of the time where there is no competition for your attention
The second child should feel like they are special too. They need your individual time, your time for their activities, and to feel like their activities are important too. Many times the older child will become involved in activities that take up parents time, however, you must find time to do the same for the other children and the first child not to always be first priority.
One thing that causes problems is passing down clothes from the older child to the younger child. The younger child needs new clothes purchased just for him/her in thier choice of style in order to feel just as important as the first child. The second child is already living in the shadow of the first child and then dressing them in the older child's clothes adds fuel to the fire. Yes, I know it is cheaper to pass down clothes financially, however, look at how it effects the second child. Remember, this may not always be the case, but, when there is a problem it is revelant.
My advice would be to get professional help for you and your children. I have been down this road with my first child and it does not get better as time goes by, continues on into adulthood.
There obviously is something missing in the puzzle with your children, find out now what that is and make necessary corrections so both children will grow up healthy and happy individuals.
Yes, you guessed it, I am a second child in a family of 4. However, I am now 74 but still remember the growing up years. I also struggled with this problem with two of my five children.
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