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    Old 10-24-2005, 05:36 AM   #1
    Amsterdam
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    I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    I am completely miserable and in withdrawls from running out of my OxyC and I'm really irritated with this doctor.

    This doc has had me on a 20mg TID OxyC for almost 2 yrs and never properly titrated the dose. Its been a battle for me lately and I've been running out early every month.

    I even tried to get a TENS unit and he turned down the script for it. I've yet to find out why, the place I tried buying it from faxed in the request.

    I am so disoriented and sick. I took the last of a few Vic ES that I had yesterday. I went into the ER and after a couple hours I couldn't sit still in the bed due to the w/d and had to leave. I told them the situation and they gave me a name to an addiction doc.

    Today is my appt with my usual pain doc to refill the OxyC , but I really don't want them despite my pain. I can't function and I need to get some stuff done. I know the only way I can get it done is to go get the script, but I know where I'll be in a few weeks if I can't control my meds as prescribed.

    I am really confused and worried about this because it seems like my only option is to get the meds and get my stuff done. I guess thats what I "have" to do for my work and college schedule. Maybe within the next few days having calmed down I can make a clearer decision on how to handle this.

    The worst thing in the world is to be on pain meds and be under-medicated.

    Thanks for the help. Good morning to all, hope all is well.

     
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    Old 10-24-2005, 05:49 AM   #2
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    amster,please don't throw in the towel just because your doc is a flippin idiot.Geez,what kind of a PM doc denies a patient the access to a TENS unit for god sake??Most PMs would jump at the chance for you to try something new for your pain control,espescially when it does not actually involve narcotics???for your own sanity and much better pain control,please seek out a different PM.honestly,this current 'alleged"PM really,quite obviously,does not have your best interest at heart here.not by a long shot.There is no reason whatsoever for him to deny you the use of a machine that could help you ALOT in reducing your pain and then reducing the overall amount of actual narcotic that he would have to Rx.I don't understand his denial of this for you either.please,before you give up,at least seek out an actual PM doc who really cares about you and your pain,this guy quite obviously should not even BE in pain medicine.sounds more like a surgeon,lol.start the ball rolling today and find out what other PMs would be possible options for you.You DO deserve to be treated with compassion and caring,from ANY sort of doc,let alone one who is supposed to be helping you control your pain in order to actually HAVE a life.start making some phone calls.if you are getting your next fill now,this will give you a bit more time in seeking out a new and improved PM.good luck Am,Marcia
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    Old 10-24-2005, 10:16 AM   #3
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by feelbad
    amster,please don't throw in the towel just because your doc is a flippin idiot.Geez,what kind of a PM doc denies a patient the access to a TENS unit for god sake??Most PMs would jump at the chance for you to try something new for your pain control,espescially when it does not actually involve narcotics???for your own sanity and much better pain control,please seek out a different PM.honestly,this current 'alleged"PM really,quite obviously,does not have your best interest at heart here.not by a long shot.There is no reason whatsoever for him to deny you the use of a machine that could help you ALOT in reducing your pain and then reducing the overall amount of actual narcotic that he would have to Rx.I don't understand his denial of this for you either.please,before you give up,at least seek out an actual PM doc who really cares about you and your pain,this guy quite obviously should not even BE in pain medicine.sounds more like a surgeon,lol.start the ball rolling today and find out what other PMs would be possible options for you.You DO deserve to be treated with compassion and caring,from ANY sort of doc,let alone one who is supposed to be helping you control your pain in order to actually HAVE a life.start making some phone calls.if you are getting your next fill now,this will give you a bit more time in seeking out a new and improved PM.good luck Am,Marcia
    Well I went to the appt and he approved the TENS so I guess thats good. I spoke to him about the generic OC as well and he wrote DAW out on the script.

    Then I asked him if he refers any of his patients to a pain clinic. He told me that he used to run a PM clinic and decided to go back to strictly neurology. The explanation he gave me was that he could continue to increase my meds because it doesn't have any affect on him. He said that he sees me every month and that I am able to stand and walk and that is better than being medicated to the point of being in bed. I could see his point, but in a way its a double edged sword. If you increase your dose to a moderate level, then you lose some of your activity level. My problem is my activity level is non existant beyond what I am currently tolerating. I don't go out and cut grass, or clean the house, or fix up the house like I used to.

    That is where I have disagree with him. I should either be titrated to an adequate dose or be completely off the meds. He explained that he would like to keep me at a relatively lower dose as long as possible. That makes sense, but at some point I would need to increase with using OxyC to maintain a therapeutic dose. I should not be categorized with the "average" person who make drink a 12 pack after work. I haven't drank any alcohol in years, and have no desire to. It seems to me that this doc may have ran into a problem at some point along the way with his patients and now keeps things to the meds minimal to maintain his practice. He made the comment that what stops a person from having a drink before work, and that in combination with the meds would get that person fired. I'm sure he's seen it, and doesn't want it to happen to me.

    He did make a good point and it seemed to help me understand his position. He said that the pain I have is not going to go away, and since I'm young ~30s , I need to learn how to cope with it. He says that I'm alert and responsive and can maintain my current activities and thats what he wants me to have 5 years from now. That made things a little clearer, and I realize that having a means to control pain in other ways than meds is necessary to survive.

    I hope that the TENS helps. He said take B complex , multivitamins, etc. Keep as healthy as possible. I know that I can improve in that department as busy as I am , my diet and health is usually overlooked. That on top of stress is enough to push my pain over the edge.

    I just hope that somehow I can manage the pills, they carry ALOT of baggage, and as much as I would like to flush them, they give me a means to get out of bed....so whatever.

     
    Old 10-24-2005, 10:57 AM   #4
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    Amsterdam, I understand how frustrating it is to be so young and have to deal with chronic pain. You get down about all the things you used to do and it can be depressing. Sometimes it is easier to blame everything on your meds. I dont know how many times for some reason I decided that if I could just get off my meds I could go back to my life before chronic pain. And it doesnt help when your "pain management doctor" is under medicating you. Sometimes it is helpful to get a fresh look at your situation and meds. And it sounds like your doctor is a Neurologist. Even if he/she used to run a PM clinic does not mean that he has kept up to date on the latest in pain managment techniques. I think there is a balance with narcotics. Too much keeps you foggy and too little doesnt allow you to be as active as possible. And yes its true, exercise, diet, vitamins can help. BUT it just might be time to get another opinion. I know that when I got into a rut about a year ago with my meds and went back to PM doctor. He reassured me and said that it was time to make some changes in my meds. We spent about 3 weeks making dosage adjustments and trying different BT meds. Boy, what a difference. It was like a breath of fresh air. I was able to concentrate better and be more active. I would agree with Feelbad, get your current script and start looking for a new PM doctor. It just might be the fresh start you need for renewed hope. Good Luck with tens and dont give up on looking for different ways to help your pain management. Miz Liz

     
    Old 10-24-2005, 11:47 AM   #5
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    I see some of you guys are new here. Welcome. I haven't been on board here for quite sometime so I'll have to try to meet all you newbies. Anyway just wanted to say I'm kind of feeling the same way as you right now. I'm thinking I'd like to come of the pain meds too but my doc doesn't agree with me. I'm just tired of being dependant on them and if I have to go to the hospital for tests or whatever having the other nurses and doctors treat you like you are a damn addict. Glad to hear he did approve the tens unit. Do you find it helps?
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    Last edited by twisten; 10-24-2005 at 11:48 AM. Reason: fixing spelling

     
    Old 10-25-2005, 05:35 AM   #6
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    Well,at least he tried to explain things to you,and that IS a good thing.Just be prepared to bail on this guy if he should start his crap again.it wouldn't hurt you to at least look into what other PM options would be availiable should that need arise.

    I am really relieved to hear that he consented to the TENS,really amster,I do think that this WILL help you keep those big flares under much better control when they hit.and since it is all self contained,you can continue on with your day while wearing it.That is a big thing for me.just make sure that he sends you to a PT to totally go over the unit with you and to show you just where the best electrode placement would be to give you the best control for you.i still play around with them from time to time to see if one particular configuration works better than another.but i really think that this will help you.honestly if it works for me and my hidious levels of torture flares from hell,i do think it will have at least some impact on yours too.I actually prefer the tens to taking any sort of BT med when the sh** hits the fan.It works THAT well,but only sometimes.That will vary for you too most likely.It all depends on alot of different factors.good luck,and please keep me posted on how you are doing,K? Marcia
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    Old 10-25-2005, 04:08 PM   #7
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    Strange that I too were thinking the Same Way,past Few Day's Now.
    Iv'e been on the Same OC dose for the past few years now,and I swear there Not working like they Used TOO!I find some day's,I'll take More thean I should,but Not allot.In Hopes to Chase My Pain AWAY,but it WON'T STOP,Grrrhhh.Then the last week before my Dr's apt.I'm running pretty darn Low,Then I say to Myself "I should just Stop taking them,they don't work anyway",so Why bother??
    I'm afraid to tell my Dr.that I feel this way,"will they Care,will they Listen",I don't know?So I've been Stuck on the Same Dose,in Pain for some time now..
    I Can't even rember the Last Time I was asked about my Pain,and I'm usually in a Hurry to get out of the Dr'd apt.after a long ride there,I forget. Mabey it's the Stigma of the Whole Pain-Vs-Druggie CRAP?I don't like people who think like that,but there R few people Out there who Make it hard on others who need Pain Manegment.
    Well I have a Week to think about it all.
    What do U think about it?I'dd like to hear what U would do.
    Thanks 2 All....

     
    Old 11-14-2005, 11:15 AM   #8
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    I am scheduled to see a new PM doc tomorrow morning. I am nervous about this because I am out of my meds a week early. I don't know if its a good idea to tell him I've run out because that may throw up a flag. I will have my symptoms all written out because I usually forget what to say when I see the doc. I need to explain how I was never properly titrated, and my current dose is borderline torture.

    This is a very stressful thing for me because I don't want to be denied meds due to have run out early. I will comply with any regimen they give me and will explain that I need to be given a sufficient dose and not kept so strung out for pain relief.

    I am so sick of having to experience w/d's every month because of my doc's generalized prescription writing habits. OxyC is not a one size fits all medication, and it obviously builds a tolerance over time. I just hope that this doc will treat me regardless of my meds being gone at 3 wks, not sure if he'll ask.

    I guess if one is switching docs, then there is a potential for med overlap, but I will be honest and ask for help for my condition. If I get help then it will be a good thing, if not I'll probably find myself at an addiction specialist tomorrow to combat the w/d's.

    I don't know how the new doc is going to evaluate my need for an increase, but I have a good idea of what would be a step in the right direction. I'm currently taking 20mg OxyC TID. I would like to go to 40mg TID with BT meds. I don't know if its a good idea to suggest that, so I'll just have to wait and see I guess.

     
    Old 11-14-2005, 12:02 PM   #9
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    Amsterdam,
    Whenever I had a difficult appointment coming up and was worried that I wouldn't be able to communicate my needs to my doctor, I would take someone else with me for support. Do you have a family member or someone who can help if you forget something or if the doctor seems like he needs more information. I had a friend who would go with me and take notes, it seemed like the doctor took me more serious and spent more time also. Good Luck. Liz

     
    Old 11-16-2005, 04:46 PM   #10
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    The new doc wrote me for 40mg BID.

    He wants me off them starting in 2 weeks, oh boy is this going to be a fun ride. Something tells me I'll be in treatment because I can't wean off these meds. I can already tell I'm going to be screwed with this doc wanting me off them. Maybe it will allow me to leave my job for good, because I absolutely can't stand it more than anything in this world. I was denied for SSD, but was sick of being broke and waiting and work was sending me letters and I was basically going to lose the job if I stayed off any longer. My 60 day appeal cutoff for SSD is one week from today, I am so tempted to appeal it.


    I am 100% dependant on OxyC, can't do my job or anything else for that matter without them due to pain and w/d. I hate needing them, but without any other relief from the pain, without them I won't be walking let alone working.

    Hopefully the reverse traction we are starting helps. There is a LOT more equipment at this new facility so maybe I will be able to find the source for the pain and get it treated correctly.

    They also mentioned epidurals. I asked them if they were talking about nerve blocks, and the doc said epidurals are different. I thought epidurals were for surgery or for temporary pain relief.

    I'll ask this new doc what he thinks about my SSD , because thats where I'll be if they take me of the meds. If I didn't need insurance, I'd leave my job and pray I got the SSD. If I got denied, I'd at least have work comp to pay me something.

     
    Old 11-17-2005, 06:18 AM   #11
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    Hi Amsterdam, I'm not sure why the doc would up the oxy and then expect you to begin tapering in two weeks unless he has very high expectations of the eidurals helping. An ESI "epidural steroid injection" is when they inject steroids into the epidural space around your spinal cord near an ara of injury. The belief is that the steroids will bathe and reduce the inflamation and thus ease pain if the pain is from an inflamatory response which is the bodies own mechanism for bracing an injured area. Inflamation can cause pressure on nerves and the sourounding tissue and cause pain so by reducing the inflamation, pain may be reduced. There is a max number of ESI they do per year, the magic number is 3. More frequent use can lead to problems like scarring and more frequent use of oral and injected steroids can lead to bigger problems like osteo perosis or arachoidiis from scaring from frequent injections and the preservatives in depo medrol. There are some other risks when injecting anything near the spine but I'll let the doc explain those.

    As far as SSD, if you have returned to work since your initial date of disability. The date you went out of work when you were injured. You must stay out of work the entire timeto be awarded SSD. If you went back, there is no point in apealing. Your better off starting the process over if you are no longer able to work and a doc iswilling to say you are not expected tobe able to return to any type of work regardless of restrictins , light duty or accomadations.

    SSD is awarded to those that can't work at all, there isn't a clause that allows you to work if you can't afford to stay home which is the kicker. If you went back, you can work in their eyes. You would need a doc to take you out and put in writing that there is no chance of you returning to work within the next year. Many factors are considered, age, education, occupation etc. The biggest is age which certainly sounds like discrimination but they can and do get away with it.

    My first denial letter basically said although you are not able to return to your previous line of work, your work history/education suggests you would be able to find meaningful employment in a less physically demanding area of work. Their definition of meaningful employment was any job that earned 600 dollars a month gross. Whether it's working part time on wallstreet of selling cigs in a gas station booth. You definitely need the support of your docs and your actions as far as inability to work. That's the the most considered aspects of aproval or denial.

    Having gone back, You showed you can retrun to work even if with restrictions on physical activity or number of hours worked. If those numbers of hours the comp doc allows you to work can equate to whatever the present definition of meaningful employemt meeet of exceed the present gross dollar amount asigned to "meanigful," you will be denied. Staying out is crucial and disability isn't based on financial need.

    If your truly disabled, it doesn't matter what your financial circumstances are. You either can or you can't. Sorry to be blunt, but the idea that someone can't affford to be disabled isn't a consideration nor is being disabled a choice you make based on fincncial circumstances. Not being able to work in any capacity cost me my home, credit, car and more than I want to go into. But it was never a choice based on financial need. I couldn't work regardless of accomadations made at work or what meds were prescribed.

    It would be great if comp wold cover you the entire period of waiting for disability and you would likely need an atorney to continue to fight for your case because they do use tactics like cutting off weekly salary payments to squeeze you into financial submission. An insurance company can certainly out wait you as you starve and loose your home. An attorney can file for hearings with the industrial commision to reinstate your weekly compensation, but the damage done during the perriod of no pay is often irreversable. The land lord or mortgagae company still want their rent. They don't have to wait for a hearing or wait to see the outcome of a settlement before eviction or forclosure.

    The bad thing is they use the same tactic to force people into crappy settlements. Once they have cut off pay , if your unable to work, again they can certainly out wait most people unless your have another income in your home and can manage and restructure your finances. It took me 2 years from my date of disabilty to be approved for SSD. I was 36 when I first applied.I Lived off credit cards, then took out a second mortgage to pay off the credit cards and by some time, then had to break out the credit cards again, maxed them out again and coldn't aford the second mortgage or the credit cards any longer. Fortunately I was able to sell and make some money from the equity in my home, but It was a a do or die situation. When we closed I was over 60 days past due on both mortgages and it was just a matter of time before forclosure. So I was a motivated seller and left plenty of money on the table to simply walk away with something.

    I do wish you luck and hopefully this doc can offer some form of additional relief that will allow you to function without the meds if it's his plan to DC them in the next few months or weeks.What a great time of the year for all this to be unfolding but hopefully you can make the best of things and still be able to enjoy the holidays.
    Good luck, Dave

     
    Old 11-17-2005, 06:23 AM   #12
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    amster,just wanted to mention to you to PLEASE don't throw away this chance at the appeal,really cuz if you should really really desperately need to re apply for ssd at some point,you will be forced to start the whole entire process all over again.This way,you are still in the game,you know?i lost me firt app too but got it on my appeal.you also have the opportunity to appeal to the ALJ if you should happen to lose this round.Don't stop now,really.Try and gather up as much new documentation as you can and get that to them,They may also ask you to see their docs as well,which could help your case.I know it did mine.just get that stuff to them before your time runs out in order to keep this process going.I really don't think you would want to start from the beginning all over again.plus you would make your wait even that much longer you know?just get moving.lol,Marcia
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    Old 11-19-2005, 10:04 PM   #13
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Shoreline
    Hi Amsterdam, I'm not sure why the doc would up the oxy and then expect you to begin tapering in two weeks unless he has very high expectations of the eidurals helping. An ESI "epidural steroid injection" is when they inject steroids into the epidural space around your spinal cord near an ara of injury. The belief is that the steroids will bathe and reduce the inflamation and thus ease pain if the pain is from an inflamatory response which is the bodies own mechanism for bracing an injured area. Inflamation can cause pressure on nerves and the sourounding tissue and cause pain so by reducing the inflamation, pain may be reduced. There is a max number of ESI they do per year, the magic number is 3. More frequent use can lead to problems like scarring and more frequent use of oral and injected steroids can lead to bigger problems like osteo perosis or arachoidiis from scaring from frequent injections and the preservatives in depo medrol. There are some other risks when injecting anything near the spine but I'll let the doc explain those.
    The reason he increased the Oxy dose was so that I could get it filled. Without changing the script at all, it wouldn't have gone through. I'm surprised he agreed to it, but I have a feeling I'm looking at a miserable future that is going to leave me in a miserable state. I can't wean myself off these meds, period. I've tried and I just take more than prescribed because my will power is non existant when it comes to opiates, unfortunately.

    Quote:
    As far as SSD, if you have returned to work since your initial date of disability. The date you went out of work when you were injured. You must stay out of work the entire timeto be awarded SSD. If you went back, there is no point in apealing. Your better off starting the process over if you are no longer able to work and a doc iswilling to say you are not expected tobe able to return to any type of work regardless of restrictins , light duty or accomadations.

    SSD is awarded to those that can't work at all, there isn't a clause that allows you to work if you can't afford to stay home which is the kicker. If you went back, you can work in their eyes. You would need a doc to take you out and put in writing that there is no chance of you returning to work within the next year. Many factors are considered, age, education, occupation etc. The biggest is age which certainly sounds like discrimination but they can and do get away with it.
    I'm aware that its for people that can't work at all, and although you might have taken my post to believe that I have a choice, thats not really the case. Yes, I returned to work but only because I am on Oxy. The amount of pain I put myself through by going to work is beyond belief. I have been dealing with chronic pain since I was 18 yrs old, so nearly 15 years of my life has been getting through life at whatever cost. I have a service-connected disability, so I get benefits from the VA. The VA pays for my school so I am not about to pass that up. The only way I can see staying in any kind of work is to get the degree. I don't want to give up, and no offense to anyone but thats what it feels like to me if I throw in the towel and aggressively seek SSD. I could get it, from the chronic pain in so many areas of my body, to my depression and anxiety condition, all of which I've being treated for now. I am taking 8 different medications daily. Yes, I can get up and get dressed and manage to get to work. But, the other things that people need to live healthy lives, I can not do. I can't clean the house, the yard or cook. I believe that because of going to work, I am too exhausted and my body can't take any more on, so trying to cook and clean is not an option for me. If I were to cook and clean and take care of my body as my doctors want me to, I would not have the ability to work. It may sound odd, but doing all the cooking, cleaning , PT is more than enough for my body to handle. So I continue to work and eat fast food and just get by. So whats the answer, keep going to work and stressing my body to the point that its 100% dependant on pain meds to function, or get healthy and do the PT , take care of the house as much as possible and claim SSD? I may not have the ability to make that choice, but if this doc pulls the meds I'm sure I'll be finding out real soon what will happen.

    Quote:
    My first denial letter basically said although you are not able to return to your previous line of work, your work history/education suggests you would be able to find meaningful employment in a less physically demanding area of work. Their definition of meaningful employment was any job that earned 600 dollars a month gross. Whether it's working part time on wallstreet of selling cigs in a gas station booth. You definitely need the support of your docs and your actions as far as inability to work. That's the the most considered aspects of aproval or denial.

    Having gone back, You showed you can retrun to work even if with restrictions on physical activity or number of hours worked. If those numbers of hours the comp doc allows you to work can equate to whatever the present definition of meaningful employemt meeet of exceed the present gross dollar amount asigned to "meanigful," you will be denied. Staying out is crucial and disability isn't based on financial need.

    If your truly disabled, it doesn't matter what your financial circumstances are. You either can or you can't. Sorry to be blunt, but the idea that someone can't affford to be disabled isn't a consideration nor is being disabled a choice you make based on fincncial circumstances. Not being able to work in any capacity cost me my home, credit, car and more than I want to go into. But it was never a choice based on financial need. I couldn't work regardless of accomadations made at work or what meds were prescribed.
    Don't be sorry about being blunt, I don't really care either way. Your opinions are welcome, whether they are favorable or not in my case. The point is that I am truly disabled, not 100% yet but VA has me rated at 30% and an increase is probably overdue. I've been a disabled veteran for over 10 years now. The VA and SSD are seperate, obviously, but looking at my X-rays, MRI's, etc, etc, I've had docs ask me how in the heck I'm able to go to work. My only response is that I've been living with it for so long, I'm used to it and my threshold for pain is way different than others.

    I realize its not a choice based on financial need, but that is a fact of the process regardless. I've spoke to many others in my situation that could not get by during the determination process, and they go back to work. You may think that if they can go back to work they aren't truly disabled, but I highly disagree. People are forced to do whatever necessary to survive. It may be easier to see a handicap if someone is wheelchair bound, but even those people can do a job. In my opinion the process is not perfect and there are people who work the system and shouldn't be getting SSD, and there are those who have applied more than once(myself included) that ended back up at work. The fact is that many people have no choice but to return to work, despite their medical condition which not only puts themselves at risk but others they work with.

    to be cont....

     
    Old 11-19-2005, 10:06 PM   #14
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    Quote:
    It would be great if comp wold cover you the entire period of waiting for disability and you would likely need an atorney to continue to fight for your case because they do use tactics like cutting off weekly salary payments to squeeze you into financial submission. An insurance company can certainly out wait you as you starve and loose your home. An attorney can file for hearings with the industrial commision to reinstate your weekly compensation, but the damage done during the perriod of no pay is often irreversable. The land lord or mortgagae company still want their rent. They don't have to wait for a hearing or wait to see the outcome of a settlement before eviction or forclosure.

    The bad thing is they use the same tactic to force people into crappy settlements. Once they have cut off pay , if your unable to work, again they can certainly out wait most people unless your have another income in your home and can manage and restructure your finances. It took me 2 years from my date of disabilty to be approved for SSD. I was 36 when I first applied.I Lived off credit cards, then took out a second mortgage to pay off the credit cards and by some time, then had to break out the credit cards again, maxed them out again and coldn't aford the second mortgage or the credit cards any longer. Fortunately I was able to sell and make some money from the equity in my home, but It was a a do or die situation. When we closed I was over 60 days past due on both mortgages and it was just a matter of time before forclosure. So I was a motivated seller and left plenty of money on the table to simply walk away with something.


    I do wish you luck and hopefully this doc can offer some form of additional relief that will allow you to function without the meds if it's his plan to DC them in the next few months or weeks.What a great time of the year for all this to be unfolding but hopefully you can make the best of things and still be able to enjoy the holidays.
    Good luck, Dave
    I'm sure that the time could come that I could be desperate enough to put everything I have at risk, and live off credit cards until I got approved, but that is scary to me. I guess my daily torture will continue because the meds I'm on allow me to function. The downside is what my definition of function is. If I can get up, take a shower, manage to get through the day without laying in bed with ice packs and in terrible pain. I tend to think that there are people on SSD living a bit better than that. So my question is this....

    1. Do I wait until my life bounds me to a bed and not being able to get up and do anything because I ran myself into the ground by not eating healthy because I couldn't cook due to too much pain from standing for more than 10 mins on moderate doses of Oxy?

    Or

    2. Do I take control of my body and eliminate the greatest source of stress and misery which is my job and save my energy to allow me to cook and get into PT and exercise to get my body in the best physical shape?


    Number 1, I will continue to work but only because of pain meds. Unable to exercise and eat healthy because I can't take the extra work thats involved in that. And continue to be miserable as my tolerance increases and my ability to do any kind of activity other than work has totally disappeared, other than watching TV.

    Number 2, I risk everything I've earned, but success would allow me to focus on my health physically and emotionally. Eating good and regular work in PT, PT would become my new job. With enough work at this option, I could possibly get by without the pain meds because I wouldn't be at work and stressing my body beyond comprehension.


    Sorry for the novel, my first two part post . Its a tough decision, and one that is not only affecting me, but my family as well. I want to be the best person I can to those I love and currently I'm not doing so well. Getting by with pain meds and no activity outside of work is no life in my opinion. Being disabled is not a fortunate situation, and is not one I'd consider a means to be "compensated" for by the SSD without deserving it. But with this new PM doc and the amount of work he is going to be putting me into, I want to focus on that and nothing else. I don't want to be maxed out by my job, so that the rest of my life is absolutely worthless, because that to me is not a life.

    thanks for the advice, help. I am so fortunate to get such good responses and help from those of you in this same situation. I will not be offended by anyones opinion, as I just want to get the best out of this short life.

    take care everyone.

     
    Old 11-20-2005, 06:03 AM   #15
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    Re: I could use some advice, debating on quitting meds

    Myself and shore must have been writing about the same time yesterday so my post went up before I actually was able to read daves 'knowledge" on the part that if you are actually working,you WILL have a very hard time justifying the need for disability.that part somehow slipped past my little mind.Unfortunetly amster this is going to make things a bit tougher for you,really.while WE totally understand where you are coming from,only being able to work because of the good pain control but still suffering through hell while there?Disability will not see things in that same light.I know they do state that if you are on disability(and i still do NOT understand this part at all)you CAN be working but only if you are making under like 800.00 a month?This is really soo confusing as when I was applying,they made it seem like I was going to have to be like almost completely dead and able to do like absolutely nothing at all for myself before they would actually award me benefits,but it IS somehow?? okay for me to be able to work at a job that would only pay me 800.00 or less?i just DO NOT get this at all.

    i REALLY do think that in your particular case,and just to really know where you stand here,you definitely NEED to contact a good disability lawyer to try and help you figure this all out for you,ya know?They only charge you up to but not over 25% of you back pay.and cannot legally charge you any more.The thought of losing my backpay(or at least 25% of it) really kinda sucked but at the same time,we were in such horrible dire financial straits at that time,losing that seemed not a problem at all if it ment that I would actually,finally get awarded the financial help we soooo deperately needed at that point.our situation though not quite as severe as Daves was,was very very close to it.we were on the verge of actually losing our home and about 5 grand into medical debt due to my medical problems and my sons.You have some BIG choices to make here Amster.but including a lawyer in this process realistically will probably give you the best possible shot at this point.just do not give up,K?good luck,marcia
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