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butrfligirl28 07-16-2008 10:41 PM

Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
I am a mess, just a mess. I cannot seem to get control of my emotions, my body, and my reactions to them. I think you all know I am on the chopping block at work. I am also dealing with some very painful health problems. I am having nerve pain from my surgery in my upper abdominal area, and severe pelvic pain from a complex ovarian cyst in my lower abdomen.

I have been trying to go to work, everday. They constantly harass me, and it seems that they are trying to get me to quit. I feel hopeless and helpless about the situation. I am out of FMLA leave, and have been told my job is no longer protected. I even spoke to an attorney who said that they can in fact fire me for my health problems, regardless of my doctor's excuses and support. I have been dealing with this by trying to never miss work, and turn in all my work on time.

This last week however, I started having severe nausea, then vomiting. It seems to be related to the cyst I have. I have phenergan tablets for nausea, which always worked for me until now. The pain has been so severe that I seem to have taken a laize faire attitude towards my meds. I always keep up with my meds, so that I do not take over what is prescribed. I just stopped paying attention. I don't know if I am taking under, over, or the right amount. I don't seem to care. I do care, but I don't understand why I am acting this way.

I am crying right now. I feel like my life is falling apart. I was so sick last night and today that I missed work. I fully expect to be fired over it. Here I am, in so much pain I cannot lay down, becoming more and more exhausted, and feeling like giving up. I am not like this. I am a fighter. I don't know what's wrong with me, or how to fix it. I just feel like my problems are overwhelming, and that I cannot overcome them and keep my job and my sanity. But I feel so guilty for being this way. This will put a hardship on my life further, and my fiance's life. Why can't I get a grip on this and fight? I am so tired, and I hurt so bad. I feel like begging for mercy, but there is none there.

Please help me. I don't know what's wrong or what to do. I don't want to fall apart and lose it all, and it's happening and I feel helpless to stop it.


Marywoo 07-17-2008 02:00 AM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
Hi iam not positive but if you have an ovarian cyst i had one removed along with twisted ovary,and i was a complete emotional wreck at that time i had no med but i could barely write my name i had such mental confusion.i would think if you went to the dr right now get put out on disability because you are really not able to work in this condition your job would not be able to fire i said iam not positive but talk to your ovary got so bad one day i just couldnt stand up.i would not have be able to you have someone to help you.iam so sorry i know that pain please go to your dr.please let me know how you make out. marywoo

forginon 07-17-2008 08:08 AM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me

Please call your fiance and have him take you to your doc now.

If he can't do it call a cab, maybe you shouldn't drive.

But please get to your doc now. Make a print of this thread (mostly your first post) and take it with you.

Please follow Marywoo's advice regarding disability. Please.

I can't speak to your condition, but it sounds like Marywoo can very effectively. So I'd follow her advice.

Please Amanda. Go to the doc now.

I care so much for you Amanda. I hate it that you are hurting so badly, and your work is treating you so poorly. I am on your side. I will lift you up before the Lord.

Go to the doctor's now. Take this thread with you.


Aver00 07-17-2008 08:15 AM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
Listen to Steve - go to the doctor and if they cannot see you go to one of those emergency clinics or to the local hospital's ER - Pls go and know that I will be praying that the Lord carries you through this and he will if you let him
hugs Aver

cmpgirl 07-17-2008 08:31 AM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
Amanda, I have been dealing with ovarian cysts for over 20 years. The symptoms you are describing (vomiting especially) are classic signs of a possible RUPTURE.


Let us know when you can, OK? CALL AN AMBULANCE IF YOU HAVE TO!

I am praying for you. CMP/MM

Sammiejoe 07-17-2008 08:34 AM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
Hi Amanda,
I want to ditto the advice Steve and Mary gave you...Anything related to the Ovaries can cause a hormonal inbalance and that can explain why you are feeling so bad. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and I sincerely wish you well...

As far as your job, I know it's easier said than done, but don't let your thoughts & worries consume you...It is what it is and you have to do what you have to, so don't dwell on what may happen...Get to the doctor and get yourself well, then you will be better able to address your employment situation.

Good luck

butrfligirl28 07-17-2008 09:00 AM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
Thank you all for your posts. My doctor is not as concerned as all of you are. I slept from 3:30 am to 6:00 am, then had to get up from being in so much pain. My doc opens at 7:30 and I called right away. I told them that the pain and nausea was unbearable, and I didn't know what to do.

They called back and said that my doc wants me to see the surgeon. I told them that she is on vacation until the 28th. They said that I could come in and see him, but not today, tomorrow. I told them I finally see the OBGYN tomorrow morning for an ultrasound, then meeting with the doctor. They of course just said to go to that appt. tomorow. :(

My GP is who I called, and he handles my pain meds. We have an oral contract, but that's all. I was hoping at least that he could increase or change my pain meds, but that is apparently not going to happen.

I thought about going to the ER, but I cannot handle the numerous, painful exams, plus the stereo-type of CP patients They may not even help the pain. Again, thank you all so much, I keep telling myself that tomorrow it will better and this suffering will end. Please pray with me that this happens. I am havin so much pain. I am going to lay down and pray for sleep.

Your Friend,


cmpgirl 07-17-2008 09:18 AM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
Amanda, Is there any way you can get that ultra-sound/GYN appt bumped up to today? Maybe a call to the GYN's office would help. I would think if you explain the symptoms, they might want to see you sooner. Please promise that if you notice any sudden increase in the vomiting or intensity of low back pain, you will get somewhere to be seen. I just don't want this cyst to rupture.

I hope you can get some rest. If you need anything, I'm here and I'll be checking in from time to time during the day if I can. Lots of prayers and of course hugs coming your way. CMP/MM

sammyo1 07-17-2008 03:20 PM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
Amanda you need to worry about whats going on with you & not so much work, it could just be causing you more pain. Honestly I am worried about you. I hope by the time you read this you have been seen for this pain.
Girl I am in the same boat as you about work, I was so stressed when I was at work yestureday I just broke down, I dont feel secure at all & I am so exhausted between it all, had to work 3 overnights & was so exhausted I thought I would loose my mind. Guess what noone cares to much, not really, I am suffering & the person I report to was just a jerk, so for today & god willing tommorrow (if I dont get called in) I am just going to focus on me, & you should do the same. We cant control if we are sick & you are just that.
You cant work like that anyway & you need to take care of you before you can do anything at all, you health comes first.
I am here for you, we are kind walking in the same shoes & I know its beyond stressfull. Please take care & please let us know whats going on, God bless, Sammy

ms_west 07-17-2008 07:19 PM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
I am so sorry you are in so much pain and am praying for you that you receive some relief soon.

skych 07-17-2008 08:45 PM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me

Please do not wait and get to the ER! I have had cysts all over my overaies and have had some that have ruptured and they are very painful. Given the fact that your doc already knows about everthing and says it is no big deal...try to remember that were are the best one to know our bodies. I can sense the intensity in your words and the fear. You just never know what could be going on and better to go now then to wait. I hope by now you have already gotten out and on the way to the ER.
Not only did I have cysts all over my ovaries but I also had Fibroid tumors and Endomitriousis so bad it had attached itself to my bladder and bowels as well as my female organs.

I am praying for you!:angel::angel:!!! Please check in when you can


butrfligirl28 07-18-2008 05:25 AM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
Hey Everyone,

I tried to get in yesterday and couldn't. I dread going to the ER so bad, that I just stayed up all night praying for morning to come. I am getting ready to go to the OBGYN this morning. I have to be there at 9:00. My finance' is going with me, and I am going to tell her how awful I have been feeling. I hope and pray that she has some answers. I don't know if I can handle "watchful waiting" which is what alot of docs do with these cysts. I wll post as soon as I can after my appointment.

Thank you all so much for your posts, support, and friendship. I have not felt so lost and hopeless in a very long time. I need you guys so much, and you are here for me. I cannot express how wonderful that has been for me. Simply not feeling so alone is helping me through this.

Your Friend,


cmpgirl 07-18-2008 11:56 AM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
Hey Amanda, Just checking in to see how the appointment went. I've been checking on and off to see if you had posted. I hope all is OK. Please let us know if you feel up to it. Prayers and hugs, CMP/MM

forginon 07-18-2008 12:23 PM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
I hope her OBGYN sent her to the hospital.

I was very discouraged with how the other doc handled her situation. Obviously, I'm no doctor, nor do I know all that much about this condition, but I know Amanda and I know the words she used to describe her pain and emotional distress, and immediate attention and care was needed ASAP IMHO.


cmpgirl 07-18-2008 12:47 PM

Re: Please Help, I don't know what's wrong with me
I totally agree Steve. I didn't like her doc's attitude either. I didn't want to scare the wits out of her, but I know ovarian cysts pretty well and when they rupture, it is not a good thing. I am a bit worried that they may have already started. It isn't always an immediate burst, say as in a balloon popping. A rupture can be slow. And is generally quite painful. I "heard" it in her words too. Fingers crossed...........CMP/MM

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