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    Old 04-10-2009, 07:37 PM   #16
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by captnanny View Post

    I just feel totally frustrated with this labeling of dependance and addicts.
    I can only imagine! I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

    Before I went out on disability, I worked as a university professor. I had an office in my home where I would do a lot of research, grading and etc....I spent about half my time there and half @ school.

    Long story short, since I went on disability, I don't teach anymore but people think I still do...or do a bunch of research & etc.....So I'm home all the time. No one knows about my "other" life, hence my reference to "Batman." But many of my friends and neighbors have made comments like "must be nice to be home all day" or "how can I get a job like yours" or "you have it so rough".......I can only imagine if they really knew....Those comments make me feel bad enough...If all of a sudden being on meds was tied to those comments, or additional ones......Or heaven forbid, if people made comments about me being a "druggie" or an "addict", it would devastate me. Additionally, I have a spouse who has an important job in our area, as well as several children....I can't imagine how comments & etc. would effect all of them.

    A big part of me feels bad @ times not being honest about my situation, but I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing. Additionally, I've got several children to protect. Not only do I not need them to hear stuff about their parent, but God forbid, if someone tried to rob me, car hijack me, or break into my home, my family could be @ risk. Additionally, losing my meds could put my care @ risk, not to mention put me in WD if they were stolen. I gotta believe that women and/or frail older people are more @ risk for having someone trying to rob them of their meds. We're an easy target.

    I know some have posted on this board about their med being replaced after filing a police report, but I have a pain contract specifically stating that they will not be replaced, and I don't want to find out if my Doc would do it or not. Additionally, just having to report something like that to your Doc would "red flag" you, I think.

    This whole thing is sad....A lose / lose all the way around. I get depressed just thinking about it.

    Take care,

    Ex

     
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    Old 04-11-2009, 01:08 AM   #17
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Hi all,
    I wasn't going to post, but after reading these posts I must chime in. The main thing I want to get off of my chest is that chronic nerve pain is living hell and my heart goes out to all pain patients here. I just wish there was a way to make all doctors, hell everyone, feel what we feel just for one day. I swear it would change their lives. People just don't get it. I guess I really don't have a point, but I understand your frustration fellow posters. I don't think people will ever "get it". We just have to pray for medical breakthroughs. This is off the wall, but just imagine what would happen if the U.S., China, and Russia spent their military budgets on pain research. What the hell is wrong with this world? I have not slept for days and I am starting to rant so I will just stop and go start my own thread. I'm thinking about you fellow pain patients, for what it's worth. Matt

    Last edited by matt3507; 04-11-2009 at 01:09 AM. Reason: typos

     
    Old 04-11-2009, 07:41 AM   #18
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by matt3507 View Post
    Hi all,
    I wasn't going to post, but after reading these posts I must chime in. The main thing I want to get off of my chest is that chronic nerve pain is living hell and my heart goes out to all pain patients here. I just wish there was a way to make all doctors, hell everyone, feel what we feel just for one day. I swear it would change their lives. People just don't get it. I guess I really don't have a point, but I understand your frustration fellow posters. I don't think people will ever "get it". We just have to pray for medical breakthroughs. This is off the wall, but just imagine what would happen if the U.S., China, and Russia spent their military budgets on pain research. What the hell is wrong with this world? I have not slept for days and I am starting to rant so I will just stop and go start my own thread. I'm thinking about you fellow pain patients, for what it's worth. Matt
    You said it all Matt.....I hear people tell me how lucky I am to have pain meds and must be nice to be buzzed up....Yea, what ever...for one after your on meds for so long you do not get a buzzed feeling what you get is your daily work routine accomplished.....I wish those people could live in my shoes for one day and feel the pain I feel just getting out of bed, but yet we must smile and be compassionate when someone tells us."oh my back hurts"....personally my opinion is "You have no idea of what pain is"...Grrrrrrrrr.....I have had people get mad at me because they want a vicodin or a pain patch to get high off from and I tell them that I will not live in full pain at their fun expense and I will not give them any of my medication, then of course I am greedy and only an addict....jeez what ever....Frustration, frustration frustration...Grrrrrrrr,

     
    Old 04-11-2009, 08:06 AM   #19
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    I'm so sorry that you're going through this 10sox, on top of pain, nerve pain and life, it's just not fair! I understand where you are coming from and your desire to share and be understood, unfortunately in my experience it just doesn't work unless these people are close, close family. The attraction of gossip and judgement is just too big.
    I was na´ve when I first had my accdent and I believed that my friends would support me, understand me and accept me. It's sad but everyone of them, except my partner, has at one time participated in ignorant gossip behind my back. When I found out, do you know what was the hardest part? The guilt and shame that I felt for changing and being 'weak' enough to need regular narcotics. What a fool a was. It sounds so cynical but empathy is hard to come by from those that haven't been through what we've been through.
    Now, my meds are my business and my partner's, my mother to a lesser extent. I do tell people if I can't do something but I don't give them details. You should be able to ask friends for help with your kids, but maybe the narcotic side of your life should be personal, for your own wellbeing.
    As Ex says it sucks to lie but perhaps telling people that you've become intolerant to opioids could be a middle ground - for your psychological and physical health.
    NP mentioned education, I think that this is awesome and brave, personally I now try to do this without referring to myself, through stories of others. It's a personal thing.
    Good luck, you can only do what's right for you...cp is the hardest, steepest path I have ever walked. Take care, Juliet.

     
    Old 04-12-2009, 12:18 AM   #20
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    This one must have hit a cord with everyone! I am lying here now not feeling very good after pushing myself too far today to be nice to a little girl that doesn't have anyone. We made a cake, took her shopping, out to lunch. The pain people call it pacing - yeah I didn't pace well today, but it was worth it.

    I agree with everyone and feel so bad that so many people hurt this bad way. I walk in your shoes and I know you get tired of the pain. Like it is not exhausting enough to deal with pain, then on top of it we have to deal with all the other stuff.

    Just wanted to wish everyone a good day tomorrow and whatever beliefs you follow Happy Spring - time for renewal, may we all have some better days.

     
    Old 04-12-2009, 04:48 AM   #21
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Happy Easter all,
    I think this thread is a great way for us to come and vent. I'll be spending Easter with my mom so it's a great day to practice being quiet about what everyone else thinks. I also don't have to tell her how much I am taking. It will be a test, that's what this day is for.
    As far as the suboxone, I don't think I'll try it. I think I trust psych a little more than my surgeon. Although I know that they don't like to think that this all could have been avoided with workmans comp doing there job. It's a terrible situation but we all have to step back and put perspective on it. I'm ok where I'm at right now. I'll keep it at that for a while.
    Anyway, the amount of money spent on war and drugs on the street could have saved a whole community of pain patients and given education to people who need it.
    Have a good day everyone!

     
    Old 04-12-2009, 06:20 AM   #22
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Although I feel for the people here as they all describe their personal experience w/ daily pain, I just wish we could find a way to make others sympathise and understand what we all live. What others see as a easy task is like a marathon to us...

    Seventeen years ago I made a promise to God when my son was hurt real bad and was on life support, I was given the choice when he was 8 months old to live or die, and although at that time my pain was there, but I functioned a lot better my promise was "God if you let my baby boy live I will take care of him the rest of my life"..only now to find myself on duragesic patches, muscle relaxers, and vicoprofen and still feeling pain that keeps me from doing as I once was able to do. It is depressing to feel inadequate of the simplest tasks, but the worst part is I am unable to care for my child as I once did and now have to rely on in-home staff to help me with his daily care, although they get paid good for their jobs, I feel ashamed and worthless that I am unable to keep the promise I once made because of PAIN.....

    My family have never once stepped up to the plate and asked me "do you need some help" instead I was degraded for the medication I have to take...

    I wish the best for all you and hopefully you all have at least one person that understands what hard times you are going through mentally and physically...

    hugz to you all......

     
    Old 04-12-2009, 12:59 PM   #23
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    when people find out i have pain, they sometimes make comments like 'i broke my leg once and got some vicodin, and boy you have to be careful with those.' i just politely agree with them and say nothing else. i never confess to taking narcotics, except to a very few select friends and family, who have also had to deal with pain issues. in my experience, surgeons are not very good at long term pain control. they just don't get it. they think they fixed you and can't understand why you are still complaining.

    while it's true that some people do become addicted, this is certainly no reason not to treat someone. a lot of people suffer very serious complications from medical treatments like chemotherapy, but we don't tell cancer patients that we won't treat them because of the potential risks. i really agree that pain patients are treated completely differently that other patients needing medical care. it really saddens me, and i feel so lucky to have a very understanding doctor.

     
    Old 04-12-2009, 02:05 PM   #24
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    There is no doubt in my mind that there are many folks out there dealing with pain, with the help of pain medication, without addiction. There is no question that pain medication is necessary in many circumstances...these boards prove that.

    Unfortunately, other folks are vulnerable to addiction. My experience with the abuse of pain medication comes as a firsthand observation of a dear friend of mine, who is in this category. He is coincidentally addicted to cigarettes, beer, and being in pain.

    If you can hold yourself together, and not end up face down in your soup, everyday...then I would keep it to yourself. But when you put it right out in front of your friends on a daily basis, one can't help but try to help you, and know you are an addict.

    I wish all the best to those who must struggle with pain everyday, your's is a hard row to till.

    Last edited by writeleft; 04-12-2009 at 02:05 PM.

     
    Old 04-12-2009, 06:22 PM   #25
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Happy Easter to all. This should be one of the best times of the year - your partner (hopefully) gets some time off and there is also more time to spend with extended family. That said, for me, it's one of the hardest times because there is so much going on. I love my partner so much but even having him around can be tiring because he would like to get up earlier etc - that said, he does let me rest in the afternoon when I need to and never complains. It's the pressure that I put upon myself that causes me to feel guilty and inadequate - I'm sure that most of us feel the same way at some time or another. At least my partner GETS it.
    We had a family (and good friends) brunch on Friday at my mother's house and it was just so hard. One of mum's friends is particularly bitchy and always asks how I am (for more gossip), so I have to be on my toes so that I don't give away too much. I love spending time with those I care about but even holding a number of conversations around the table is hard (because it hurts to breathe etc and interupts my concentration). This tires me out and makes me feel rather overwhelmed, as well as reving up my pain. We spent 2 hours there and I was in agony. The only other event I was up to attending (and it was hard) was dinner on Saturday night. For someone that used to have stuff on all 4 days, it's hard to accept - and other people notice and it gives them a reason to talk.
    But what can we do about it? It's just another 'pain' that we have to deal with. I would love to be able to share my experiences with family and friends but I cannot take their opinions on narcotic and how I live my life. It sounds paranoid but I also fear the person that may try to cause trouble for me because they are jealous that I am medicated or whatever. I have heard many horror stories and honest cp patients being suspended their meds while an investigation is undertaken.
    I know I'm judged for not working because most people can't see my injury and don't know what meds I take, perhaps one day if they go through what I do, I might be able to share my experiences with them.
    Happy Easter to all - I hope that this time is filled with relaxation for those who work and less pain for those who can't. At least we get an excuse to eat more chocolate ...and who says chocolate doesn't help pain?

     
    Old 04-12-2009, 09:52 PM   #26
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Personally I never share what I take with anyone, other than 2 people I can trust. One being my Mother. I just feel it's not a good idea for many reasons. I also believe if you take meds, and have pain. From what my doctor told me, your brain does not get affected the same as if you take them as addicts do, to get high. This is just my opinion and experience.

     
    Old 04-13-2009, 07:16 AM   #27
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Ex-
    I've given a lot of thought to what you said, and I really would like some advice on how to start getting the word around that I am no longer on narcotics. I live in a close knit master-planned community so I never thought of anyone trying to steal my pills. It never even crossed my mind that my children could get hurt. This scares me more than living in pain the rest of my life.

    I have a core group of girlfriends, and I know they like to gossip. I know they have probably told people of my pill use. God only knows what is said behind my back. That doesn't bother me, but again, the thought of my children getting into harms way because of this.....THAT scares me.

    I don't want to just start a conversation saying..Guess what? I am off all my pain pills. They probably won't believe me because they do know how bad my back is. They know my injections only last a few weeks.

    Would it be bad to say that my doctors injected me with a new treatment and it has taken most of my pain away. If they ask, would it be bad to say that I really don't know what the new injection it, but it's somewhat new and works for me. Then would it be too much for me to say that I have handed all my narcotics back to my doctor and hopefully will never need them again? Is this too far fetched? I could then tell them that those injections are helping my pain but my back is still very unstable and I still all have my same restrictions.

    This is really bothering me...as you can tell. Any advice would be great.

    I have more to write, but my two year old is having a fit at the moment...thanks

     
    Old 04-13-2009, 07:59 AM   #28
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    It is a shame that you and many others have to live in pain just to please others because of what some might think of the narcotics that have to be taken. I have been on narcotic pain meds for over 10 yrs and I have in that time raised 4 children (of which 2 of them are only 8 and 12 presently), actually by my children understanding my medical problems have also taught them that medication is only used for severe medical needs such as chronic pain and to sympathise with people that suffer in pain. My oldest boy understands the medicines and fears the use of them for recreational use and he is 24.

    If a person is giving up pain medication just to please others from senseless gossip, in all reality what are you teaching the children that you say you are protecting?..To bow to others and to live in pain and suffering upon yourself? Isn't that self abuse in some manner?

    Although, I have on several occasions spoken w/ my doctor on wanting off these meds, because I am so tired of medication I could scream, but in reality I myself have tried to just use the "mind over matter" idea and found myself in so much pain that I couldn't take care of my kids as they should be taken care of, along w/ my daily responsibilities as an adult..I at that time threw away all my medication feeling I could do this, only to find myself listening to my doctor telling me that he new I could be a little goofy at times but not stupid..LOL...I was in so much pain that what my kids had to see was their mom the one that loved them suffering, that alone brought tears to their eyes.....My doctor explained that if I didn't need those meds he would have never had me taking them but in life some don't get so lucky as to live pain free as others or can not have surgery to fix the issue and that sometimes we have to do things we hate so we can live normally....All those people that degrade others that use narcotic pain medication because of chronic pain would be the first ones to to take a script from a doctor if they for one minute thought they could feel no pain and live a normal active life.........

    Now if you are taking them when you have no pain and just are dealing w/ the addiction problem then it is a different story, but remember although the reactions are the same my doctor explained to me that there is a big difference between addiction and dependency and for all the years I have been on the medication I have not once abused them nor had to pick them up early, although believe me they don't work as good as they use to, I don't want an increase(I'm still hoping for the miracle of pain be gone magic potion, LOL)...But, if you find yourself running out of medication sooner than suppose to, then maybe you should think about the use of narcotics and talk w/ your doctor......Remember narcotics only decrease the pain you feel it won't take away the everyday issues our world deals with......We as pain sufferer's deal w/ more reality of life than the ones that are degrading us for trying to help our self so we can live normal....

     
    Old 04-13-2009, 08:03 AM   #29
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by dolejaly View Post

    If a person is giving up pain medication just to please others from senseless gossip, in all reality what are you teaching the children that you say you are protecting?..To bow to others and to live in pain and suffering upon yourself? Isn't that self abuse in some manner?
    With all due respect, I think you've misunderstood 10Sox. She is saying she wants to "tell" people this, not actually do it. She is worried of potential consequences of others knowing. The thread contains many of these type of issues.

    Regards,

    Ex

     
    Old 04-13-2009, 08:05 AM   #30
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by 10sox View Post
    Ex-
    I've given a lot of thought to what you said, and I really would like some advice on how to start getting the word around that I am no longer on narcotics.
    I would be glad to help. PM me.

    Regards,

    Ex

     
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