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  • Why do so many people think dependence = addiction?

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    Old 04-13-2009, 08:14 AM   #31
    dolejaly
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Executor View Post
    With all due respect, I think you've misunderstood 10Sox. She is saying she wants to "tell" people this, not actually do it. She is worried of potential consequences of others knowing. The thread contains many of these type of issues.

    Regards,

    Ex
    boy your quick on a response...LOL....Ahhh I see, I was hoping that 10Sox wasn't going to have to live in pain for others comfort....Thanks.....I just wish people could be more sympathetic and understanding in our world....

    It's sad when so many have to answer to others that don't understand what chronic pain people have to actually feel. Not to mention that we have to hide certain things such as our health from others as well. I tell my mom and brother that my Dr. took me off my pain meds only because my brother is one that looks for a quick buzz and my nutty mother would help him,my brother is 35 by the way and they don't understand or get the concept of why I really take my meds and they would be the first to see me suffer just for their own pleasure..boy that irritates me...grrrrrr....

     
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    Old 04-13-2009, 09:33 AM   #32
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Dolejaley-
    Ex was correct. I am not stopping my pain medications to please others. I am just fearful of too many people knowing what i am taking. After I posted earlier this morning, my good friend called me to tell me a man in his 20's moved in with his mom in our neighborhood. He is a drug addict and has a rap sheet for robbery to get his drugs. I could not believe she called to tell me this right after I posted my concerns!! Anyway, I see a pain psychologist weekly who has really helped me understand the differences between addiction and dependence. He has given me my life back. I no longer feel that shame for taking my meds and know I must to function and take care of my children. He also told me my children will grow up and be more compassionate for having a mom with chronic pain. I used to cry and think it was not fair to them. He is helping me see the other side though.

    Ex- I will pm you later when i can gather my thoughts more. My 2 yr old is having quite a day with tantrums.. I appreciate your help.

    10sox

     
    Old 04-13-2009, 03:04 PM   #33
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by 10sox View Post
    Dolejaley-
    my good friend called me to tell me a man in his 20's moved in with his mom in our neighborhood. He is a drug addict and has a rap sheet for robbery to get his drugs.10sox
    I would make sure that you have your meds locked up, preferably in a safe because you never know who might find out that what you are taking especially if you have told several people. I bought a safe over a year ago and have it bolted to my floor so it would take quite abit of effort to get it out of there.

    brian

     
    Old 04-13-2009, 08:44 PM   #34
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?


    10sox ~

    It's good your reviewing what your inner thoughts and intentions are pertaining to this topic for yourself. As you can read through this thread there is a lot of input from alot of posters. In sharing, what you go through on a daily basis and with whom the sharing is with along with content.
    It does become overwhelming for people whom cannot relate, yet want to lend an ear. Many ah year, I miss understood that lent ear. Sadly, enough ( the ear is attatched to a head that lacks decernment also has a tongue that is as loose as a new puppy. ~ like EX shared ).

    I grew tired ! of continually having to "explain" why I was doing what I was doing, with what Doctor. Let alone, "explaining" why I was reassured about the scripts. ( I grew to realize. It was no ones business ) It became exhausting! ~ I was already going through enough. I did'nt need to "explain" to anyone ~anything. Like when I was a child or in highschool. Looking into the persons eyes ever so deep to retrieve approval and getting reproach not support . I discovered I was always searching for approval in all of my actions. I needed to review me and answer to myself only; Why I was giving out TMI...
    I was upset for my body letting me down for 30 yrs. & the unyielding constant change due to pain. Not getting the support I needed at home to keep up with kids, house, meals-bills, front and back yard clean up working and trying to keep up with the individual demands of each person in the household
    In that, I wanted all who had that ear to hear and feel what I was going through. Possibly, resentment for being misunderstood for so many years.
    Truely, not Heard!
    I wanted personal validation for the years of daily misery. I wanted, if I may be so bold.. Ahmage, to the daily AArrrrggg.
    I wanted them to feel sorry for me!
    I wanted assurety, this was going to stop.
    I wanted to make sure I was'nt alone in the many changes this body goes through. Pain is very lonely

    I'm forever learning, how to not give TMI ( Too Much Info. ).
    Learning how to keep conversation pleasant and simple. When asking assistance to set your child in the swing... It's learning how to ask without going into a diseration over it. If someone asks how you are doing? Smile, thank them for being mindful or how thoughtful. Respond: I'm doing well. Thank you for asking..and return the question back: How are you? Then drop it. If, they inquire about your medicine they know about.
    Thank them again for inquiring and say " All is wonderfully well " Drop it and move on.. As in saying: " Isn't this just a gorgious day ? " mainly turning it around and off of TMI.

    I've found great relief with sharing on this site.. It's with people like minded and are the closest to what I live with daily. So many times I've felt unheard I'm PAIN ~ hear me Roarrrrrrrr

    I wanted to make sure my creativity in working with the pain. & visiting posts has given me more information to help me, help me. So, I can "be", all that I can "be" ! ~ Not to anyone else, only to me. If, I don't want to "be", I dont' have to "be".

    Best Regards ~ DRAIN BAMAGED











    Last edited by Drain Bamaged; 04-13-2009 at 09:11 PM.

     
    Old 04-13-2009, 09:32 PM   #35
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Beautifully put...Thank you.

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 04:53 AM   #36
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Just a note to what Brian had to say about the safe. Be careful with those empty prescription bottles, and any paperwork you have from the pharmacy/Dr's office concerning your meds. I use a black permanant marker on the labels and then put them in with the used cat litter. Pharmacy receipts are in a locked file cabinet and shredded when no longer needed.

    Tigg.

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 06:24 AM   #37
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    This thread has really hit a nerve with me. I have had problems with family in the past judging me and my life style. Even before my injuries I have had trouble fitting in with family and their friends. I have been reserved and shy when younger. And felt that I don't fit in. I haven't always been able to work full time. Now that I suffer from CP and don't work at all, it has got worse. Though I don't really have to face them as I keep to myself and only share my life with those who care and would not gosip. The less anyone knows about my medications the better.
    This does make my life very lonely though and I wish I had the ability to comunicate and make some friends. I am happy I can come here to talk to other like wise people.
    Allan

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 07:52 AM   #38
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by 10sox View Post
    Dolejaley-
    I no longer feel that shame for taking my meds and know I must to function and take care of my children. He also told me my children will grow up and be more compassionate for having a mom with chronic pain. I used to cry and think it was not fair to them. He is helping me see the other side though.



    10sox

    I still feel at times how unfair it is to my children because I can not do a lot of things that most moms do and if I do push myself it hurts badly and I am out of sorts for days after the fact. It's so hard to explain to my daughter which just turned 8 yesterday that mama would love to read her a bedtime story but because of moms health and medicines I would become very sleepy and could not finish her story, even if it is a short story. Same w/ my grandchildren which are 3 and 5, gramma is unable to do so much as I would like to do with them. Sometimes I feel as if I am on a merry go round from hell and I just want off from it...grrrrrrrr

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 08:12 AM   #39
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tiggertoo2174 View Post
    Just a note to what Brian had to say about the safe. Be careful with those empty prescription bottles, and any paperwork you have from the pharmacy/Dr's office concerning your meds. I use a black permanant marker on the labels and then put them in with the used cat litter. Pharmacy receipts are in a locked file cabinet and shredded when no longer needed.
    Very good idea Tigg. I take my labels off and tear them up into tiny pieces, or wad them together....With the sticky backing, the left over pieces will roll up into a tight tiny ball that's impossible to get apart......And then I put them in different trash than the bottles.

    Regards,

    Ex

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 10:37 AM   #40
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Hi everyone,
    Hope you all had a good Easter.
    This thread just keeps getting better. It certainly has gotten me thinking. I am very confused right now because about two years ago after my first surgery I was cut from the pain management doctors because I told them the fentanyl patch was making me very depressed like the oxycontin did. They would not see me anymore and turned me over to my psychiatrist. Now at the time I did tell people what I was taking for two reasons, I was scared to take it, and I did not know how they were going to react. My psychiatrist wants me to try suboxone if necessary but wants me to wean off the medicine. He did say that right now he was being objective because it is sad to think that I now have a serious disability. We will talk again on Saturday.
    I think I convinced myself and everyone else that I was an addict just to get them off my back. I hated being judged and hate when they talk about how "doped up and stoned I was." They don't know that I was severely depressed and in severe pain. Now I am in pain, I do not recall me taking pain medication for any reason other than pain. I do have withdrawals since he is taking me off it and I am in much more pain which causes me to think about the medicine.
    DOES THIS MAKE ME AN ADDICT? Why did I convince myself that I was addicted and not really in pain? I am SOOOO CONFUSED!
    The suboxone suggestion was for pain and to get me off the norco, something that might not make me so depressed. Norco does not make me depressed nor does it make me feel "high"

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 11:52 AM   #41
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Captnanny-
    First, I am so sorry for all that you have been though. It doesn't makes sense that your pain clinic would stop treating you for telling them it makes you depressed. I told my pain clinic that I did not like the way I felt on the OpanaER. I even told my psychologist that I didn't realize how depressed and crappy I felt, until after I was on it. They both told me pain meds can do that and it's important to tell them if I start feeling like that again.

    As for your question about being an addict. Here is my take on it. I personally was sooo scared of becoming addicted to the pain meds (I still struggle with this some). When I tried to be "strong" and not take my meds for a day, I would start to feel withdrawal symptoms. I would then hear the words of my Neurosurgeon. He would say, "As long as you take the vicodin for just pain, then you are ok. When you start to take them for any other reason, then you have a problem." Well, there have been a few times when my pain was low enough that I could skip a dose. If I did, I would start to feel withdrawals and have to take my pill. THIS SCARED ME, and I thought I was becoming addicted. I talked to my psychologist about this. I had kept it inside for too many months. After one session of talking to him, he assured me I was not an addict. He told me that is the nature of the pain pills. Of course I would feel yucky if I cut my doses. I told him what my neurosurgeon told me (about not taking them except for pain), and he told me how many MD's are not trained in pain management. This is why it is so important to see a good pain doctor.

    Anyway, I think we sometimes convince ourselves we might be an addict because we hear from EVERYWHERE of how easy it is to become addicted. And, how many times have you heard...."Oh my friend took pain pills, became addicted and it ruined their life". I hear that all the time. If you listen to something long enough, you start to believe it.

    I have stopped reading posts on the addiction boards. I am no longer telling anyone about my use. I am under the care of my pain doctor and pain psycologist. They are watching me. I trust they, along with my husband, will let me know if they see a problem developing. And, I know in my heart it is not.

    Sorry to write a book. I am just becoming passionate about his topic because I hate to see so many of us suffer because of the fears associated with addictions. I know it is true for some, and that must be such an awful thing to go through. But for the rest of us, living in chronic pain is bad enough. We don't need these thoughts entering our minds all day long.

    I don't recall the name of that syndrome where a person abducted will eventually learn to trust and become friends with the person who abducted them. That there shows you how poweful suggestions are over the mind.

    10sox

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 12:15 PM   #42
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    10sx,
    That's a great analogy about the person being abducted. I have been doubting myself so much more since the whole issue of "being drugged up and addicted." I do know that my mom will make anything into an issue if has to do with addiction or abuse. We do have a history of addictions in our family, both sides. That scares me a lot. It also makes my mom assume that anything I take will lead me to insanity. I have been sitting here so confused and frustrated about whether my pain is as bad as I feel it is or if it is true pain. I do know for 100% certainty that when she refers to me sounding "drugged" up is when I am very down or tired. I also spoke to a friend who said she knew I was in real pain and her brother who is a recovering addict said I was not walking straight. That was when I was on oxycontin. That did make me very groggy.
    Now I think I have even confused my doctors in my own confusion. I tell them about how scared I am of becoming addicted but complain of pain. Then I tell them how I am addicted and need to get off of the medicine. I finally put it in the hands of my psychiatrist and surgeon. Now they are both saying different things. My therapist is neutral and I like that. I just don't know how much of the truth I have told all of them.
    I want to please people. I don't want people to judge me as a druggie and I am very self-conscious. I criticize myself enough to know that I don't need this.
    One thing I am for sure of is that I felt sooooo much better when my doctors were for the medication and my pain was tolerable. I did not beat myself up and the doctors didn't have mixed messages coming in, I was totally more relaxed. I think I found my answer right there. My pain is legitimate and I need someone who acknowledges it. My surgeon does as well as my psych, but he still wants me to get off of the vicodan. That is my big problem. I don't know where or when that started. I may have led him on or started in a panic when the pain clinic refused to see me. By the way they are no longer in practice because they didn't wean people properly. Sorry for ranting, just trying to figure things out because people sure do thing dependance is addiction. We need to stop that nonsense.

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 12:32 PM   #43
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    captnanny:
    Here are some signs that you may be starting on the road to addiction:

    1. taking more of your pain meds than prescribed

    2. taking your pain meds too soon

    3. taking your pain meds for the "feeling" it gives you instead of treating legitimate pain

    4. going to multiple doctors to get prescriptions for the same drug (doctor shopping)

    5. trying to refill your prescriptions early

    If you are not doing any of these things then you are probably NOT AN ADDICT. I think that you are so worried about the possibility of addiction that you are sort of convincing yourself that you might be heading down that road. I can tell you this because I am a recovering addict and know the signs and symptoms of early addiction. So give yourself a break, take your meds as prescribed, take them to have a quality of life, and try to relax and not let other people's judgements of you affect how you feel about yourself.

    brian

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 12:50 PM   #44
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?

    Thanks Brian,
    I have not doctor shopped, I have not taken more than prescribed or okayed by the doctor. If taking a dose fifteen minutes early is too soon, I am guilty of that but yes I am sooo worried about being an addict and being told by mother that I am one that I had convinced myself that I was. I no longer feel the "high" you tend to feel when your adjusting, I take my medicine for pain and only that.
    I also try, I think to convince myself that I am an addict because for some reason that seems more acceptable than a person in chronic pain. That's what I think the whole thread is saying and it's where I am at. I put myself down for being in pain and then punish myself for needing the medicine. It's a viscious cycle.
    Like I said in my last post the time I felt most at ease with myself, happier and like I was not a disappointment was when my doctors were supportive and understanding. The thing that changed was my attitude about being on the medicine and "being an addict."

     
    Old 04-14-2009, 01:19 PM   #45
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    Re: Why do so many people think dependece = addiction?




    The TMI (To Much Information )

    Here's a bit of my Reality
    Shocking and Pierced to the Heart incident that happened to me.

    I'm standing in the kitchen of Mothers, 5th-Wheel. We'd had a wonderful day together, which was sorta rare. I'm not her fav out of the 4. It's been pointed out so many many times... I'd brush it off and do what I could to earn her LOVE ~
    As the day moved on..to early evening... A Couple popped in to say hello to Mother and to inquire of Fathers well-fare ( he was in hospital ). Much joy and adulation over there visit...as they go into conversation. Trying myself, to be part of the ebb and flow of the meets and greets.. Yet, respectfully standing in the back ground of kitchen. Ready to plug in the coffeepot for refreshment if the call went out; Seeing and hearing all in frontroom of the 5th wheel.
    Mother, stands up ~ looks at the guests~ pointed at me. and BEGINS ~ ~ OH,!! Charles and Mary I didn't introduce you to my ??? Alcoholic and Drug addicted Daughter, ~ "I told you about"!!!!! ~ ( It slipped off her tongue so smoothly; Like butter on hot pancakes served with a dagger of judgment ). My name, was never mentioned.
    My Heart was Split, Stabbed, and Ripped asunder. as I gasped for air. I was in SHOCK !!!!! ~ My hands began to tremble as I earnestly fought mentally for my dignity. Searching quickly to recover from this ~ this so called joke, of a statement.!!! Is it a joke? Is she for real ? She actually said that !?! ~ NOOoooooo,! quickly arguing with myself like the Ball in a pinball game... shooting here, there with lights and bells going off.
    My mind screaming!!! If only you knew the Hell,!!!!! If, ~ You , ~ Only, ~ Knew , ~ the,~ HELL !!!!!!!!!!
    ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    Not to prove anything to anybody.... Yet, it's a good example of Ignorance gone ahrye. With what is known as
    "Best Intentions" and "Blind Trust"

    Relationship w/ Parents was on for over a year before what " Mother Dearest " said above.

    I'd pop over to Mother and Fathers on my way to PM appts. As in our many conversations. Please, if you need us to take you we'd be more than happy to. Whatever you need just call. Stop by and have a bit of lunch, we want to help. Wow, I thought, how good it was to have my parents be simi-involved and earnestly want to help. I was told ~ " Whatever is shared between us stays between us only." Respecting me and what my body goes through is no one elses business. I was apprieciative of their understanding and care. As my father has had many years of spine surgeries and pain. I knew through the many years of my parents of What to Share and What not to Share. I had a Medtronic Morphene pump which the meds. needed to be changed out every 3mos. The pump site became horridly infected. Life was at stake. I was hospitalized , pump removed. The Docs never replaced the medicine once the pump was removed. I went into WD's ( My PM's didn't have privleges at that hospital ).
    Yes, it was Narley!!!! ~
    My Parents, did not see anything that I went through that would warrant the remark "Mother Dearest" said above. They based their Opinions on Unrealistic Gossip, Preconcieved Ideas. Old Wives Tales & Traveling Trailer Park Nomads.....Whose brother of a cousin 6th removed went through this ,that and the other on medicine. Let alone "Their Truth" and understanding was the only Truth out there...


    Medicine Talk, is only between me and my Docs.

    ~ I'd gone to visit for a day 1/2 with my parents one year. Many yrs ago..
    "Mother Dearest" didn't like what I was doing. She went & rifled through my luggage. Came out of room screaming I was a drug addict... Holding 2 perscription bottles up in the air. It was my Thyroid Med. and Estrogen .



    Best Regards to you all.... DRAIN BAMAGED.


















    Last edited by Drain Bamaged; 04-14-2009 at 01:57 PM.

     
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