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I can't take this pain anymore!

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Old 04-01-2003, 12:25 PM   #1
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 214
kim32 HB User
Unhappy I can't take this pain anymore!

My primary doctor finally referred me to a chronic pain doctor, but she is refusing to give me any kind of pain control (I was on oxycontin 10mg) I haven't been on any kind of pain medicine (well i have taken over the counter pain medicine, everything practically what they have out there, but nothing helps with my chronic pain and plus it upsets my stomach, makes me feel sick) So i haven't taken oxycontin in a week now so i'm suffering in pain! :-(
I go and see the chronic pain doctor (who was referred by my mental health doctor and also my primary doctor, the mental health doctor is the one who found this doctor for me) i go and see this doctor tomorrow (wednesday) but the bad thing is, is this doctor only "talks" about the pain, i guess my mental health doctor told me that if she thinks that i'm a good candidate for the pain clinic then she will refer me there (which my mental health doctor thinks that i am) my primary doctor says that she doesn't want me (or any of her patients) to be on pain med's because in her words (you will become "addicted") I really hate that word! :-(
I told her before "well what am i suppose to do then, just sit here and cry everyday and suffer with this pain?" then she said to me "well taking pain med's isn't going to help any, it will only make matters worse". I would love for her to have my pain and let me hear her say those same words, i bet she wouldn't!
So i am really depressed because of the pain and also because my primary doctor seems like she just wants to shove me off and not help me any. :-( she does have me on an anti-depressant which i have been taking for about 3 months now, but i dont see any improvement i am still really depressed, I guess if i was depressed because of mentally reasons then i could see it working but being that i'm in physcial pain it's just not working for me :-( plus i am taking "Neurontin" 4 times a day which isn't doing anything for my pain either. It seems like all i am doing is taking pills, pills, pills but not for pain and it's doing nothing for my pain. I have asked my primary doctor if having a nerve block would take my pain away (being that i hate taking pills) well she said that it wouldn't help being that my pain is so deep. I thought that nerve blocks would help with any kind of pain?? oh sorry this is so long, but it's just so frustrating being in pain and not having an answer to why?? So now what am i suppose to do for pain in the meantime until or "IF" i get referred to a pain clinic being that my primary doctor doesn't care to help me with my pain.
I work 5 hrs. a day monday thru friday at a school and all i do is try to keep from crying at work, everyone says that they can tell that i am in pain. right when i come home from work then i just bawl my head off. I have told my husband that i wish that i would of just died in the operating room while i was getting my gallbladder taken out last november, people tell me that i shouldn't think like that, but why would i want to live for another 60 yrs. in chronic pain?? Maybe if i had real help from a doctor (not just giving out pain med's but actually listening and feeling of my pain) then i wouldn't be feeling this way i don't know? I'm sure alot of you have depressed feelings about your pain, i know that i shouldn't be complaining because there are other people out there that have more pain then me. This one boy who is a 4th grader at the school where i work at, he was born with physerabal pulsey spelling?
and he's in a wheel chair all crippled up and he can barely talk (he is a really smart boy i guess) i saw him with a teacher and he was crying because he was depressed, and when i saw him i just wanted to cry too, i thought "why would god allow someone to be born like that? and why would he have me have this chronic pain? etc..." there are so many why's but no answers! I'm sorry but i just had to vent, hopefully soon i will get some sort of pain relief! Kim

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Old 04-01-2003, 02:36 PM   #2
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Kim, How old are u? I can definatly relate, as I am only 24, and have had the "What do I have to look forward to" thoughts. I can tell you, that somewhere out there there IS a pain management doc who is right for you. The right treatment is available. Unfortunatly it can take a long time, but it is definatly out there. I was chronically depressed my entire life because of my physical problems, until about a year ago something just happened to me, and since then, everything in my life has been different (most importantly my outlook on life). Remember, it is good to vent sometimes, and alot of people on this board, and all over the world, can relate to how you are feeling. And each and every one of us is there to support, relate and help ya!

Old 04-01-2003, 02:50 PM   #3
Irish Cream
Posts: n/a

I wish I could be there with you and at least give you a smile and a hug.

Unfortunately there are no easy answers for us. God I wish there was.

I hate to suggest this but have you ever thought about becoming a inpatient "psych" patient? Maybe then they would take your pain seriously. It's too bad that sometimes it feels like it has to come to that. To prove how bad it does hurt. How seriouly it messes with your emotional being.

I feel like I'm about at that point now myself. My DR was so happy I passed her mid month drug test that proved I was taking her worthless pills. I'd just end up running out before the end of the month drug test. Didn't change anything but she was happy. My family DR doesn't prescribe pain pills, either. Thinks pain is our friend.

Is there someone you can report that DR of yours to? Like a hospital administrator. Tell them you are unhappy about your treatment. Heck, write a letter about how crappy your treatment is to the editor of the newspaper. I know we hate to make waves. Afraid of ticking the DRs off. We might get cut off.

Maybe someday Oprah or whoever will do a story about people in pain and then everyone on this site can all get to meet on stage.

Everyone talks about a Pain Patient Bill of Rights. But to me it's crap. Your right, until our DRs have to have 24/7 pain or watch a loved one cry because they have to wait another 4-5 hours for another pain pill they will never get it.

I wish I had an answers for you. Just know that an is watching over you.

Old 04-01-2003, 03:18 PM   #4
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Illinois
Posts: 414
rsg HB User

KIM!!! I quit reading when I got to the part that I have said myself, I wish I would have died when they took my gallbladder out!
Is your pain in the center and then run along your ribcage?? Does it feel like your liver wants to be let ou? Like it is too big?? If so read on my friend...
Look up a good Gastroenterologist,(sp?) one that mentions EXPERIENCE in ERCP or MRCP you'll find my many posts about sphincter of oddi dysfunction in here and other rooms. My problem is that the muscle that opens up to let out pancreatic and liver stuff; bile and pancreatic juice to help digest food, gets stuck shut,hence the backup ruined my gallbladder, I had no stones, and the gallbladder ,severely infected and enlarged, is gone and the sphincter is still not working, I have 3 stents in it now and will be going back in 9 days to reduce it to 2, then, either it gets stretched out enough that it works or they sew it open. I wear a 75mcg duragesic patch and have 7.5 vicoden for breakthrough pain, so now it is just a dull ache,with exacerbations every now and then, then its off to the ER i go.hope to help you, I too am on antidepressents, 100mg zoloft/day, being unactive I began to feel worthless and my condition was hopeless. I have been in pain since last May. If you or anyone suffers from post gallbladder diarrhea, Questran light powder, RX only will stop it forever. Hope I have helped you.
ps, Doctors are not God, I worked with them every day until I became sick, tell them there is a difference between addiction and a body's dependence. They don't take criticism well so let them think everything you want is their idea, even if you have to lead them by a noose to get them there!
My "pain doc" said a ceilac block would help, find a doc with a clue, take them this post then they'll see we are not drug seekers, just MISERABLE
just found another one of us in the rare disorders forum
antispasmodics do not work and muscle relaxants help after a bad bout, to relax every darn stomach muscle that is ticked off bye for now
[This message has been edited by rsg (edited 04-01-2003).]

[This message has been edited by rsg (edited 04-01-2003).]

[This message has been edited by rsg (edited 04-01-2003).]

[This message has been edited by rsg (edited 04-01-2003).]

Old 04-01-2003, 06:51 PM   #5
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 262
Shaman HB User

rsg I am so glad you posted here, was going to tell kim to read your post, but couldn't remember where I saw it! Kim, I am sorry that you are still suffering and I truly hope you find relief. I wanted to say that I think the child you were talking about has cerebral palsy? Things may seem grim, but he will find his place in the world as you will find yours. Keep your chin up.

Old 05-11-2003, 03:12 PM   #6
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Phoenix Jackson Oregon
Posts: 84
lacydoll HB User

Dear Kim,
I know what you mean Kim, and it is so sad when nurses and docs don't " feel our pain".
I know what it is to have chronic non stop pain and have had this for 4 years, ever since the 2 surgeries I had that I feel were botched.I think the Lung surgery I had, the Thoractic doc was in a hurry to get on his 4th of July trip that year.
When a person has all of this burning stinging pain and in my case, think " the next doc will know what to do". Then the next doc doesn't or he/she seems to think most of it is imagined.I just want to yell at them.
I had a real life 4 years ago. grand kids, that I hardly ever see any more because it is so painful. A great hubby , that I haven't been able to sleep with for 4 years.I hurt so bad, can't be touched as I am so sore. It never stops.
When the doc does give you meds, all I think they are is a mask to " cover" up some of your pain, if you are lucky enough to have it work. None of mine has so far.
In my head, I don't feel like I am bad, but if the pain would just let up temporarily, I would feel good and I would have part of my life back.
I went from a very healthy grandma to one who is disabled and can't even do my housework.
The pain is so bad , when I get the real hard pushing pressure under the left breast, I get high blood pressure from the pain.
I do hope you find the right docs Kim, becuause we all feel your pain, I am sure...

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