It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Pain Management Message Board

Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-25-2011, 09:11 PM   #1
babs17's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 494
babs17 HB Userbabs17 HB User
Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes

It's great that we all found this site....if anyone in the world understands pain-issues~ WE DO!! And on that topic, nobody in this whole world understands Chronic Pain UNLESS they themselves, have it!!

Recently, a friend of mine herniated a disc in his lumbar region (atheletic, long-time surfer, into more natural types of healing). Well, amongst my friends, I'm known as the back-pain person. Me & him have discussed our back issues/pain issues on several occasions. Currently my friend just hit the one-year mark....with his lumbar pain going from low to high intensity throughout the year.

In November, after feeling close-to pain-free for almost 2 months, he & his wife took a trip to Costa Rica. Since he hadn't surfed all summer because he was recovering, he was really looking-forward to some surf-time in Costa Rica. I was hesitant about the situation because I've been dealing with Chronic Pain for 10 years. But, we each have to live & learn. Apparently, as soon as the 1st wave hit him, he was out of commission for the duration of the trip. With that in-mind, he took my advice to skip surfing this winter to give his back more time to recover.

Anyway, I had a conversation with him about 2 weeks ago, & he said the following in a VERY serious tone: "You know Babs, it's not that I thought you were complaining too much, or that you weren't a strong person,,,,but I had NO IDEA how much pain (esp back pain) can affect a person's life. Everything I do seems affected. Getting dressed, showering, cooking, and even walking OR just sitting here on the couch!! And I only have 1 herniation. No offense to you, Babs. But if I had 12 herniations like you do, I think I might kill myself. Like I said, no offense to you". I responded to him by saying, "One of the 1st things you should know (now that you're in this Chronic Pain family), is that all pain is relative. You should never attempt to 'compare' your pain or injury with another person's. If you say you hurt 10/10, I'm gonna believe you & help you in any way I can. And if you meet someone who is saying that their chronic hang-nail is the worst pain they've ever felt, believe them & try to assist them to get more comfortable. All pain is relative to that particular individual who is experiencing it. It's when we start to compare our pains/injuries that we begin to turn on one another. And like I said, we're ALL in this together....that is, being a person suffering from Chronic Pain." Since NOBODY ELSE UNDERSTANDS US, we should really try & stick-together!!

I thought to share, & was wondering if anyone else has had a friend / family member "all of a sudden" walk in their shoes? What was their response & did you find it extra important to support them (being that we KNOW what CP patients are up against in this world?)

Be well,
Be well

C4-C7 Herniations
T5-T10 Herniations
L3-S1 Herniations
Thoracic Fusion via Thoracotomy 10/06

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 04-25-2011, 10:35 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
BB07's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 1,114
BB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB UserBB07 HB User
Re: Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes

hi babs- i have been in pain since my accident 1/27/2007. it totally changed my life forever i have crush injuries tospine that affect my whole being. while fightinh for ssdi i was accepted into pt asst from purue n thanks to my dr for this got real significant relief. i was acceptedd into the pt asst program last april2010 n won my ssdi 7/16/2010-so i finally got ins=eff 1/1/2011 they sent me a letter saying oxycontin not on formulary n also at this time i was taking the refformulated oxyC n side effect occurance of severe anxiety-so my dr put on OPANA er n sai this rug is twice as strong as the oxyc n also cut down on my bt med which i thought was great-now i got yhe opana in feb-no relief but headaches n feel wierd,spacy=not good at all. the opana does not work and i am scared to complain. i am in terrible pain,
i am so afraid of not having a dr-well i tell you my predicament because i have appt fri with pm-i want off this opana n to stop the uneccessary sufferring=it worsens daily n i dont want to get opana refilled-isnt this reiculous i should just tell him-am so week n no fight in me-friday seems so far awway
constant companion pain

Old 05-10-2011, 08:12 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 1,409
nochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB Usernochange HB User
Re: Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes

BB07, maybe you can try the fentanyl patch. It help most people who have been in car accidents (severe pain caused by damaged ligaments/tendons and muscles add to it herniated/bulging disks).

Babs, it is great you have somebody to talk to about chronic pain. I have nobody. This forum is my home.

Last edited by nochange; 05-10-2011 at 08:13 AM.

Old 05-15-2011, 06:42 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 2,520
sammyo1 HB Usersammyo1 HB Usersammyo1 HB Usersammyo1 HB Usersammyo1 HB Usersammyo1 HB User
Re: Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes

What a great response you gave your friend.
My BF has problems on & off & when it flairs she says she does not know how I do it but she admires how I keep going. That was recently & I never knew she felt that way. I have to say it made me feel someone semi understands.

I'm much, much worse in the mornings before I take my meds & run out of ESIs.
I stayed the night not so long ago & I think it shocked her to see just how bad I really am as I don't appear to be in pain much of the time. We learn to hide it well as it becomes a part of our lives 24hrs a day. There is not one minute I'm not in pain so how some way but what do you do, broadcast it.

Your so right there is no way anyone could possibly understand. Your also right about one persons pain being worse then another. The fact we live with everyday & it changes much of our lives is the same. Some can handle it better then others as everyone has their own pain tolerance.

I think my eldest daughter tries hard to understand also. She always comments I don't know how you do it mom & I reply I try very hard not to let pain rule my life. I'm in charge of the pain most days anyway, the pain is not in charge of me. I have to look at it that way or I would not function well.

Its nice you have someone near & dear who gets it. Not that you wish pain on anyone but some days I'd like to have someone here who truly understands.
I have a cyber BF who lives in CP who I can turn to & I thank god for her daily.
I wish you & your friend the best of luck & god bless, Sammy

Old 05-15-2011, 05:28 PM   #5
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan, U.S.A.
Posts: 72
Frederick123 HB UserFrederick123 HB UserFrederick123 HB User
Re: Good Friend was just diagnosed with Chronic Pain~Walking in my Shoes

I guess it's just one of those days. I'm jealous of those who have someone who understands. I don't.

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Walking a fine line when being ones advocate sammyo1 Pain Management 12 05-28-2008 09:12 AM
Just Fired my PM Dr. shawley Pain Management 31 07-18-2007 06:16 PM
A setback or good news? Bilbo Pain Management 3 08-30-2006 10:29 AM
Good experience w/ new PM Doc shakorox Pain Management 11 05-04-2006 07:45 AM
Chronic Pelvic Pain Syndrome - Need Help cguysea Pain Management 10 12-16-2005 05:58 PM
Treatment for acute pain to prevent it from turning into chronic pain? sealover Pain Management 3 06-24-2005 11:02 PM
Tolerance question from chronic back pain sufferer blueswimmer Pain Management 10 01-30-2005 03:37 PM
Chronic Leg Pain, need help please! Bothrops Pain Management 1 03-18-2004 01:55 PM
medtronics/spinal cord stim....good or bad, please reply boaz Pain Management 17 12-31-2003 02:08 AM
Chronic pain after knee operation NADINE PARKER-DANIELS Pain Management 4 12-07-2001 04:53 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:23 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!