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Ramstein67 05-17-2012 04:24 PM

I just need to ask and say this
I don't know how you people do it living with that kinda pain some of you are in ?? it makes me wonder why to live like this. what keeps you going?
sorry i don't mean any disrespect.
but been reading here for a long time, this is my first post, and I feel like such a baby now comparing my pain to yours.
My hats off to y'all and have my deepest sympathy.

HelloKitty2003 05-17-2012 05:34 PM

Re: I just need to ask and say this
I can't speak for anyone else, but for me it would be my family that keeps me going. I have two small children and I know they need me. I do my best to be there for them even when I have to literally force myself to get up and do it. I have a hubby that I love dearly, but he doesn't really understand what I'm going through. I never had this much pain until I herniated discs in my neck. My knee and other things were more manageable. My parents, whom I love dearly, try their best to understand. They seem younger than me at this point. I also have hope that my surgery next month will at least help with some of my pain. Its a starting point anyways. I either get better, stay the same, or gulp...get worse. I won't know until its over. These are my thoughts, but I in no way have the kind of pain that some of the others have. I am interested to see some other replies! :-)

Agenda 05-17-2012 05:39 PM

Re: I just need to ask and say this
My children. I have six young children and without them I would just stay in bed and feel sorry for myself. They deserve a mother who is not complaining and miserable all the time so I make an effort for them and it helps.

katlin09 05-17-2012 07:19 PM

Re: I just need to ask and say this

Hi, and welcome. Were you born there, in Germany?

Nah we don't want sympathy...we're not dieing...well not today.

Why do I continue to do this...hmm....haven't thought about that in a while. Well I was married for 26 years, but have been divorced for a little over a year now, happily divorced. I have kids, 2 boys, but they are 22 and 14 and don't need mom much these days...well the young one does, but his stepmom can walk and run and do all the fun stuff, so he's a typical self centered, "all about him" 14 yr old and rarely comes to moms. He'll figure out there's more important stuff as he gets older and mom will still be here.

I have no illusions that my pain will get better, it won't. My diseases are degenerative and they will get worse. As my Dr.s say, we "manage" things, we don't try to fix or cure. I've had 30 plus surgeries, most in the last 13 years and I've got many more ahead, I'm actually behind schedule on that because I'm being obstinate and have just enjoyed not being cut into for 2 whole years!!!!! My body sucks, yes, but my mind is good, well it's kinda not if you count the BiPolar, Seizure Disorder and Cluster Migraines....LoL, Geez I'm pretty screwed up!...but I've got 3 college Degrees, I still work as an Accountant, mostly from home because I don't drive much. I enjoy working. I'm a Certified Paralegal and I still do Pro Bono research for some of the smaller law firms in town who don't have the staff to cover all their needs, but aren't at the growth level to afford more staff. I like to research, so it works for all of us. My 3rd Degree is in Computer Science and I mostly use that one for my own jollies.

I've met alot of great folks on these boards, made great friends that I've had for years, and I like to help people when I can. My very awesome Pdoc (psychiatrist) got me started on this website in 2008, as an excercise....convinced me that in helping others and giving back, using my 26 years of experience in Pain, Disease and Medical Issues, both Mental and Physical, it helped make all the pain, fear, hell, years of hospitals, Dr.'s, procedures, therapies, surgeries... all of it mean something...and he was right. I've never left...well I blip away for a time here and there, but not for very long, I miss my friends too much.

I guess if I thought about why I did this everyday too much, I'd probably stop doing it...lord knows it ain't fun much of the time! I'm 43 and at most I've got about 20 yrs left and that's fine....not one of those folks who wants to live to be a 100...LOL...I don't have enough real organs left for that! True, I don't get out much, but I have the secret....I cook and I bake, so people come to me, everybody likes to be fed.

Never discount your own pain, each person's pain is very big and very real to them....


Ramstein67 05-17-2012 09:35 PM

Re: I just need to ask and say this
Thanks for the responds, yes Kat I was born in Germany but not in Ramstein, i just like the Band back then, I came to the states in 95 to work for that German company in SC.
I always loved the US and in 2005 I became a citizen, still working on that grammar
thank God for a spell checker lol.
I played soccer for most of my life, now coaching a girls team, after 8 knee surgeries i hung my cleats on the nail so to speak 4 ACL reconstruction and the rest meniscus repair. my last one came from an accident at work, in 2010 I stepped on a Laser Table into a hole and twisted the knee. so my first surgery back in Germany in 88 i kinda had to live with the pain, they gave me some brown drops i don't remember what it was, tasted like Jaegermeister :D
but never became addicted, well besides the Beer, dang those Germans you may say.
I'm not drinking anymore, its in my genes i guess to become addicted to stuff real quick,
so here i was on Lortabs again after 3 knee surgery in a year, first time they gave me Percs for 6 months they said the pain will go away, nope it didn't, different doc another MRI and another surgery still not fixed more pills, no results those where both Arthroscopic surgeries, next anothe x-ray another MRI they looked at the pictures from the surgery and he said be a good idea to get that ACL reconstructed again, i said ok, PT, pain, pills no answers from the Orthopedic the pain will pass he said, I said to him, listen i had those surgeries before the pain was gone in a week, all this time nothing I can't work can put no weight on it, so they gave me this test, capacity evaluation something, anyway, its all workers comp, just before i took the test a lot of people told me to get an attorney, so I did........everything is so slow, but i didnt want to see that Orthodoc again, so i went to my Fam. Physician he puts me on Lortabs and after my first fill i ran out to fast, imagine why, so now for my second Cold turkey quit, im done with the opiates. (day 4) lol symptoms aren't that bad just some insomnia, Ibuprofen, vitamins, hot showers and lots of water will do the trick, and a strong mind I guess, i could pick up the lortabs on monday but i already called CVS and told them to toss it, called my Doc and he called me back and ask are you sure I said yep, from what i read on here I'm just a little minnow with that pain, he laughed and said good for you buddy oh and my Level is at 5-6 while no weight is on it, thanks y'all for letting me rambling about it :) have a great night

HelloKitty2003 05-18-2012 10:00 AM

Re: I just need to ask and say this
I've had two of the knee surgeries...the minor ones! After the first I had PT and I kept telling my doctor that I still had pain. He would tell me to take Tylenol. I would cry to my hubby and suck it up and do the PT for a little longer and call the doc back. Take Tylenol, take three times I called!!! My hubby finally called for me and told them either call in something or I'm coming up there. Well, long story short after months of this non-sense I asked for another MRI and low and behold I had torn my meniscus two more times during my recovery. My doctor apologized a million times and I had the second surgery. I only went to one post op appointment and then my neck pain and 24/7 headaches started. Found out I have the herniated discs and I'm waiting until my son is out of school to have the surgery. June 25th is the date!!!! Finally...I started with this pain in Oct. of last year. What a nightmare it has been. Oh and my knee still hurts! lol I know that when I get my neck straightened out I need to go for that 2nd post op appointment I canceled! I wonder what fun is lurking in there now....maybe just scar tissue or something! :-) Good luck to you and never down play your pain. Pain is very different for everyone. The pain you feel is the pain you live with and you own it. Kind of the same thing Kat said I think, but something I like to tell people! Hope you feel better and good luck with all!!!

GaNeal 05-30-2012 06:11 PM

Re: I just need to ask and say this
I have always felt that there are people out there who are worse off than me...I am 37 years old and back problems after a bad fall while running,then I had my first surgery hoping it would get better but it got worse then came the second back surgery then it got worse...some days are better than others...of course there are bad days but there are always better days to. I hate having to take hard pain meds but life without them is pure hell...but yeah there are always people worse off than me and that is what keeps my head up!

ncmommakat 05-31-2012 12:06 PM

Re: I just need to ask and say this
I just LOVE LIFE.. I have one adult son and a spouse. I garden (with son's help) and volunteer at local animal shelter when I can. I also work full time at a desk job but have note on file for frequent breaks and stretch breaks. I am lucky in that so far medication keeps the worse of my pain at bay. i know I will never go below a 3-4 on scale, but I can live with that. As I get older, my pain does get worse and my medication has been increased 4 times over the last 6 years. I take a Long acting pain med twice a day plus Norco 10 mg up to 3 times for break thru pain. I make sure I take my LA twice a day without fail. Somedays I need all 3 BT pills, others i don't. but there are days when I need an extra dose so it evens out

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