It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Panic Disorders Message Board

Why won't I allow myself to feel joy?

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 09-16-2004, 09:47 AM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 84
las7715 HB User
Why won't I allow myself to feel joy?

Hi All, I posted this over on the depression board but for those of you who do not go to that board I wanted your thought and opinions:
I start out with a panic attack which is followed by a bout of depression, usually. And like a lot of people I tried going off my meds (Paxil) after having been on it for about 7 years and feeling pretty good. It got to the point where I thought I had forgotten how it felt to be anxious and depressed so I thought it was a good time to get off of them. Well, after being off of it for about 2 months I had a pretty intense panic attack while trying to fall asleep. They usually hit at night when I'm alone with my thoughts. The following days I had alternate feelilngs of anxiety and depression. I immediately got back on Paxil, resigning myself to the fact that perhaps I will need this medicine for a lifetime. I have never been able to sort out in my mind if my problem is chemical or psychological in nature. I too, have been to different therapists and although talking about it may have given some relief, it never has been able to completely stop the symptoms. AD meds do that for me - oh, I might feel a little twinge every now and then of anxiety or depression but NOTHING like how I feel when I'm not on meds. Sometimes I think my real fear is the feeling itself - that it will completely consume me and I will not be able to bear it any longer (although rationally I've been "bearing" it for years) that's the CBT that I have to practice on myself. I also ask myself why don't I think I deserve to feel joy and happiness? In other words, I blame myself for my misery, i.e. wallowing in depression, making myself miserable with anxiety attacks. It's like I'm punishing myself and won't allow myself to just be happy and joyful. Anyone else feel this way?

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 09-16-2004, 02:53 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: melbourne, vic, aust
Posts: 7,370
hry33 HB Userhry33 HB User
Re: Why won't I allow myself to feel joy?

we can get in the habit of feeling too guilty, dont fear the panic attacks, although uncomfortable they cant hurt you
get some books on overcoming panic attacks and learn the CBT exercises in them

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Son won't get out of bed goingdaffy Parenting Issues 45 07-17-2010 10:08 PM
Doctor's won't listen! please listen Back Problems 6 04-19-2010 03:18 PM
Relationship advice needed - wife doesn't seem to like sex and won't try anything new anon78 Sexual Health - Men 6 05-05-2009 02:13 PM
Family Won't Let Her Speak plaxmax34 Caregivers 19 08-12-2008 08:37 AM
My Dad won't accept my ADHD GabTheBlab ADD / ADHD 4 05-26-2006 03:47 AM
Father won't allow help Oasis_rest Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 20 08-07-2005 03:49 PM
Girlfriend won't move in dt_martini Relationship Health 28 07-06-2005 08:00 PM
Why won't anything work? LaLaLand870 Weight Loss 9 04-03-2005 12:15 PM
She won't leave it alone dayanna Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) 12 05-21-2004 01:18 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:08 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!