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Old 02-08-2003, 08:41 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 105
peaches31 HB User

Hi everyone!

I don't want to be a wind bag so i'll try to keep this short. I too have panic disorder - started 10 yrs ago. It progressively got to the point that i had continuous anxiety 24hrs a day with panic attacks throughout. It had gotten to the point that i did not want to continue on with the mental pain. Day in and day out i struggled just to do "normal" things. I have 2 children to look after and needless to say i needed to be well physically and emotionally to properly look after them. I was lucky i have an understanding husband who could see how far i had sunk down and got me to the doctors. (I had tried everything but meds at this point and nothing worked) I went to a doctor that i both liked and trusted (VERY IMPORTANT)and he gave me xanax - it took me another week before i would even try them (very scared about taking meds - won't even take a tylenol for a headache) but i did and they made the panic less but i felt so heavy headed on them. I then decided to try paxil - now i am a well educated woman who does her homework. I knew about the side effects. I started of slow (5mg) and worked my way up to 20mg. The doctor wanted to increase that so i tried it and found that is was too much. I honestly believe - no correctio I KNOW that paxil saved me! Now i'm not advocating that everyone take paxil or any meds what i am saying is that for me and other people out there that are at there wits end and have tried everything else, there is hope! I'm now almost completely off of the xanax and i have no idea how much longer i will be on paxil. It scares me to death to try to get off it what with all of withdrawls but i will cross that road when i come to it.

Panic disorder is not a weakness or failure (that one took me 10yrs to finally realize!) but rather it is a chemical imbalance. I have stopped trying to figure out why i have it and what started it - who cares. And along the way i have seen that i am strong, probably stronger than most people that don't deal with panic disorder. Believe it or not i am glad that i have went through what i have because its opened my eyes to who i really am and what i am now capable of.

Ok i'll stop with my rambling! One more thing though - just wanted to clarify something - paxil gave me my life back but i still from time to time deal with panic but i deal with it differently and more effectively now. So to all of you who are where i was just to let you know THAT IT CAN AND WILL GET BETTER. Search different avenues and you'll find the right one for you!

All my best

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