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  • Am i a bad mother?

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    Old 09-15-2016, 06:09 AM   #1
    Mary345
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    Am i a bad mother?

    My oldest daughter is 8 she has a different father from the one who is 2 im with my 2 yr olds dad. My fat fats i adore her. But my 8 yr old i cant stand at times. Dont get me wrong i love my daughters. But i dont know what it is about the oldest like she's always bugging crying for nothing. Just irritates me. Her cry is so ugly. I just get so mad when she crys. And she looks so much like her dad. I really dont know but. After im mean and said some bad things. I feel really bad and i cry. Because i snap and dont mean to. I tell myself. Tomorrow will be a better day and its the same. I hate been this way. It makes me hate myself wanna die. Treating my first baby girl this way. I dont know if its cuz shes big and i dont show affects for that reason or what i just cant get close to her. Does anyone know whats wrong with me? Because i really want a better relationship with my oldest dont want her to hate me. Or think i dont love her as much as i love the other one. Even though it seems that way by my actions

    Last edited by Administrator; 09-15-2016 at 06:50 AM.

     
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    Old 09-15-2016, 06:35 AM   #2
    sweetpotato13
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    Re: Am i a bad mother?

    I give you such credit for coming here and sharing your soul. You are already so very wise...you already know the problem! Every time you look at your older daughter she reminds you of your ex, and you have hatred for him, so looking at him in miniature form makes you hate her too.
    Here's the thing. Yes, honey, you ARE being a bad mommy. You are taking out your anger on an innocent victim. I think that if you realize that your daughter is not responsible for the face she wears because YOU slept with her Daddy, you will begin to understand that emotion when it comes up for you day after day, and make changes.
    I will say this to you.... I totally understand that it is very hard to see the similarities and love her anyway....but you MUST, and I know that you will.
    You know that you are doing great harm to your daughter. No wonder she cries so much! I would cry too and so would you if you had a mom like you are. But the good news is that you can turn this all around.
    I bet there are so many times in your life where you have felt so helpless. But right here, with your daughter....you have ALL THE POWER. She deserves to be loved and treated kindly. And as she grows to trust you, because this will not happen immediately, you will see her change, and blossom.
    This is what I think can be your first step, if you think you can. Take your daughter for a walk, or chat with her while you are in the car. Tell her that you have been thinking about it and have noticed that you have been being mean to her. Do not say anything about the fact that she looks like your ex, or she cries a lot...that has nothing to do with it. Tell her that you are sorry, and that you are going to work on being a better mommy to her. I know that this will mean the world to her, and each day you can make this better.
    I have faith that you can do this. I honor you, for writing your post, and God bless you.

     
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