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  • 3 year old out of control!

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    Old 03-16-2017, 08:18 AM   #1
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    3 year old out of control!

    Hello all-

    I am a mother of two, one 3 1/2 year old boy and one 5 month old girl. I'm having a lot of trouble with my son who will not listen to anything unless he wants to and his behavior can be horrid. While I know it is normal for 2 year old's and older to act out throw tantrums and not want to listen, I sometimes don't know if his behavior is normal.

    A little background information is that he has never been put in daycare of any sort, he has been with me since day one. I actually used to take him with me to work until he was around 15 months and then decided to work from home and care for him as it was getting to be too much to deal with in a work environment. The only reason my husband and I haven't put him into daycare yet is financial reasons, but we are working on getting him into a preschool program. Also, I must mention he is still not potty trained and doesn't pronounce his words properly (some, but not all).

    He likes to throw things, constantly bother the dog by chasing her, kicking her, hitting her, he also seems to hit his grandmother constantly, he tries sometimes with my husband and I but it doesn't get too far. He constantly does things to bother people. It doesn't matter how often we tell him not to do something he continues to do whatever it is we tell him not to do such as the actions I've described.

    We have taken away things he likes, we have tried putting him in time out, we have spanked his butt, and he still doesn't care and will continue to do it again.

    Now granted he isn't CONSTANTLY bad, he does still have his sweet moments and wants to help with things around the house, his sister etc.

    But, I've really exhausted my options and don't know what else to do. He makes me so mad and fed up I just cry. My pediatrician said he's a strong willed child. But, I'm to the point thinking this isn't normal for a three year old. Is there something wrong with him? Has anyone else had a child like this?

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    Old 03-16-2017, 09:12 AM   #2
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    Re: 3 year old out of control!

    Hi...has your son been assessed for deafness or possibly being under the spectrum of autism, ADHD, or having a learning disability?

    Initially, you need supports, help to put a plan in place that both you and your husband agree and work on, boundries and more knowledge regarding how he and the family functions.

    Have you tried learning/ teaching him some sign language? There are books available (teach your baby sign language) to help with his communication. Most people, especially kids, get more frustrated (angry) with no connection of communication. The most obvious way is venting outward.

    You might consider to rehome your dog to a less chaotic environment if he's abusive to her.

    I know you have your hands full with a new baby.....get him to another doctor who specialises and gives a notion of caring to have him assessed. It's not going to work out on its own, and a doctor who mentions strong willed as a label has no interest in your exaspiration or the well being of the growth of your son.

    Barbara Coloraso has many books available on children....she's straight forward and covers a myriad of family issues.

    Please seek supports and suggestions from others who just might have the right options for you to try. If one thing doesn't seem to be it, maybe tweaking or trying something else will. It's going to take a lot of work from both you and your husband.

    Keep connected,
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    Old 03-16-2017, 09:23 AM   #3
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    Re: 3 year old out of control!

    Did this start before the new baby was born or since? I am just wondering if your son is doing all of this for attention...

    Have you tried spending an hour or two with him alone, when your husband is home to watch the baby, just you and him? Maybe try an outting to "reward" him for being such a good boy...and then using this as a regular thing for him to look forward to? You and your husband could take turns. Its possible that he feels jealous of the baby...

    Good luck!
    RRMS- dx 05

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