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  • Stepmother help?

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    Old 09-07-2017, 06:28 AM   #1
    Psychology1
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    Stepmother help?

    Now my boyfriend of 2 years is going to stay tomorrow night as he wants to see my dad and stepmother and catch for a bit as he doesn't see them often. He stays for less than 12 hours by arriving late and leaving early and only ever stays for one night. In the past 2 years he has stayed in our house 3 times (3 nights) and that is fine. Anyway, today my stepmother announced that she no longer wants him in the house at all on the basis that she was not allowed when she was young and that she feels like I'm forcing my relationship on her. I am not. I have never forced her to like him or even talk to him and I have never had him in the house without permission. Don't get me wrong though, I understand most of you will tell me I need to respect her as she's my stepmother and it's her house etc etc.. and i get that, and I do. Or I try to. But I just feel like it's a little hypocritical considering as I have been forced to live with her all my life when I stated that I really didn't want to when I was asked. I know it's slightly different.. but I just thought some of you have some advice as family is very important to me.

    Last edited by Psychology1; 09-07-2017 at 06:31 AM. Reason: Title

     
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    Old 09-08-2017, 03:00 AM   #2
    MSNik
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    Re: Stepmother help?

    Hi there, hypercritical or not, you already know the answer. It is her house and unfortunately, she gets to make the rules. Its not fair, but it is life.

    Is there anyway that you and your boyfriend can stay in a hotel instead of him staying at the house? By avoiding the situation, she won't have anything to be upset about.

    You said that family is important to you; however, you are looking for a loophole here and there isn't one. Unless you feel that you are ready to move out of this house and live your own life the way you want, until you reach that time, you have to abide by the rules.

    I am a stepmother of 3 and 2 of my stepdaughter have college boyfriends who live out of state. I allow them to stay at my house, but on a different floor of the house. They need to respect that if I catch them in the girl's room (or catch the girls out of their rooms at night) that this will be the last time they sleep under my roof. What they do when they are at college or at their boyfriend's families houses, I cannot control, but I can try to control it under my own roof. That being said, I do make them feel welcome and have never said that they couldn't sleep in my home.

    As a parent, we should try to support our kids, but we also need to set boundaries. I support these girls financially and if they do not like my rules, they are welcome to move out and support themselves.

    I think you have to follow your stepmother's rules or do the same thing.
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