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karenrs2002 05-29-2018 04:52 AM

Don't trust my boyfriend's 12 year old son
 
This is going to be kinda long but 5 years ago I was a widow with 3 girls and met this younger guy (I was 41 he was 34)and fell in love with him fast he had a son same age as my youngest daughter( they were 7)at 1st I did everything I could for his son cause he wasn't working I treated him like my own made sure he had clothes for school gifts for birthdays and christmas then when we get him on weekends all he would do was ask his dad to take him to ex girlfriends so he could play with their kids at 1st I'm like he's a kids but it got more and more so I felt like he was trying to cause problems because my child was same age but didn't do this kind of stuff he would even call his dad then put his mom on the phone for no reason.Fast forward 2 years into our relationship and we take his son in because his mom was on drugs bad and in and out of jail and 1 day left her kids and didn't come back for like a month so I took care of him alone with his dad and that's when I started see how the son was.I have always loved kids and had a way with them but this kids was a bad kid he would lie all the time he would tell his moms family that we were mean to him,wouldnt let him take baths wouldn't let him eat(he ate like a man)we wouldn't let him do anything his lies got so bad cps came out (his mom was trying to get him back)after having him for 8 months and him doing a lot better at home and in school he went to stay with his moms grandma and she went behind our back and gave him over to his mom so he stayed with her (that's what he wanted)for a while then again she left him for few months this time so again I let him come stay with us and he was worse than the 1st time we had him so again cps got involved (never on mind or my daughters fault)so we had him about 2 months this time and his mom grandma did the same thing and gave him back to his mom again so now his mom has no rights to him and the grandmom that kept giving him back has him and now its either he's going into frosted care or we take him and I know I sound like a bad person but I don't want him back cause of all the lies and games he has played I even caught him in my jewelry box when he thought I was asleep.Just thinking about him coming back makes me so depress plus when he was here me and my daughter felt like we were walking on egg shells cause we didn't know what his next lie was going to be and my daughter was scared cps was going to take her away because of his lies.He never calls his dad or want to do things with his dad unless there's nothing else he wants to do.I don't know what to do should I let him come back and live (cps is involved already)and make my daughter and myself feel like we have to watch everything we say and do ?do I break it off with the dad so he can have his son(he don't keep jobs for long so don't k,ow how that would work but he has a job for now)or just leave it up to my boyfriend what he wants?(I feel if he stays with me 1 day he's going to blame me for him not having his son.Thanks for reading I just need some input on how to handle this.[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]

yayagirl 05-29-2018 05:18 AM

Re: Don't trust my boyfriend's 12 year old son
 
Oh, dear Karen, what a mess we can get ourselves into. I know you are full of compassion and concern for this man and his boy, but your first responsibility is to your own child and your self to provide a safe and stable home. The way it looks is that you had taken on two children (and I don't mean age). The father doesn't appear to take any kind of responsibility and all the weight is on you.

Clearly the boy is not responding to your concern and care and I suggest that you focus on stability and care of your own dependent child. You cannot fix the things wrong in that man and his son's lives. Separate yourself from that and give your own dependent child stability, and let them work out their own problems. You aren't the boy's mother, and your responsibility is not this guy or his child. Your responsibility is what you allow in your own child's life. She doesn't need that chaos in her life.

Love,

aBetterMoustrap 09-17-2018 11:45 AM

Re: Don't trust my boyfriend's 12 year old son
 
IMO your first priority is your family and your kids. Period.


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