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12 year old inviting a 6 year old to a sleep over. Normal??

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Old 08-03-2004, 06:35 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 2
GoJackets HB User
Question 12 year old inviting a 6 year old to a sleep over. Normal??

My girlfriend and her ex-husband have joint custody of their 6 year old son (he turned 6 in June). At this time the ex has the son every other weekend. Apparently the ex and his current wife have befriended a couple who has 3 boys, ages 12,13, and 15. We have not met this couple or the children, but apparently my girlfriends son has befriended the 12 year old (He was 11 until this past weekend). The ex has allowed the 12 year old to sleep over their house on two occasions (that we know of). One of which the 12 year old woke the 6 year old up and kept him up all night playing video games and getting into vitamin gumballs. Anyhow, this past weekend the friend had his 12th birthday party and after the party was allowed to invite one friend over for a sleep over. This boy chose my girlfriend's son. This immediately seemed odd to me and my girlfriend. She expressed her concern to the ex, but he insisted that this was a good kid and we were not justified in our concern because we have never met him or his family. We felt this was not normal regardless of the kid, because of the large age difference. What could a kid going into middle school possibly have in common with a kid going into the first grade. Not to mention my girlfriends son is probably on the emotional level of a 4 year old. My girlfriend does not seem to think it is worth the risk, besides molestation, a kid that much older can manipulate a younger child and could easily harm him physically. Without constant adult supervision, anything can happen. I agree with her. However even after arguing for over an hour, she was unable to convince the ex to not let their son go. The sleep over appears to have come and gone uneventfully, her son after being questioned did say that the other boy tried to hit him in his privates, but from his description it sounds like rough play. My girlfriend still does not want her son spending time alone with this boy, yet alone with his two older brothers. But she can't do anything to stop it. Are we crazy? Is this a normal situation? I know when I was 12, you would have had to pay me to hang out with a 6 year old. Something doesn't add up. What do you all think?

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Old 08-03-2004, 07:46 PM   #2
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: NY, USA
Posts: 377
TerryB HB User
Re: 12 year old inviting a 6 year old to a sleep over. Normal??

It could be innocent but I would NEVER take the risk. Too much is in jeopardy. Young men commit suicide later in life haunted by childhood abuses. Also, if I had a 12 year old son, I wouldn't put him in such a situation where he could have "hormonal brain-fade" (kids have bad judgment at this age) or he could be accused of something he didn't do. It's all too weird. 6 is marginally old enough for sleepovers anyway. I would only have a 6 year old stay over a relative's house or extremely close friend's house. Print this out for your friend's Ex. I can't understand the logic here. My husband would be more suspicious than me.

Old 08-03-2004, 09:29 PM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2004
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GreenBMP HB User
Re: 12 year old inviting a 6 year old to a sleep over. Normal??

It is odd, however you should see how they act with eachother. Are they like friends or does the older child behave like an older brother. Maybe he feels good being around a young kid since he is the youngest in the family and likes to feel like he is "wiser" and such. However, yeah the kid could be a pervert, I was at that age. Though not a gay pervert. So maybe.

Old 08-28-2004, 11:34 AM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: aiken sc
Posts: 6
davep1 HB User
Re: 12 year old inviting a 6 year old to a sleep over. Normal??

it depends on the 12 yo at 12 i ws very immature and looked and acted more like a 6 yo most 12 yo boys are not goign to befriend a 6 yo but if they do it probably innocent

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