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I am worried....

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Old 10-26-2004, 06:25 PM   #1
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Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma-USA
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Ksavage HB User
Unhappy I am worried....

Today I was sitting in the floor coloring with my 22 month old daughter and she got mad at me because I would not let her eat the crayons. So I picked up the coloring books and put everything away. She got over that little episode & then she went on to push her baby around the house in the doll stroller. She tried to get her baby out of the stroller and was having a hard time. I am a mother that tries to let Riley figure stuff out for herself. I do not run right to her and "solve the problem" right away. I wait a minute and she usually figures things out her own. And sometimes we have to help her. Well, I proceeded to fold the towels and was about to get up to help her get her baby out of the stroller & she went BONKERS! It was frightening. She started screeming, kicking, & slapping the baby right in the face. She then picked up the remote and started hitting the baby over the head. I sat down beside her and told her in a calm quiet voice that we do not act like that. We should love our babies. & she looked at me and SPIT in my face. I picked her up and took her to the laundry room (time out chair) and told her that she would have to stay there until she could be nice. She kicked and screamed for almost an hour. There were several times I thought she was going to pass out or throw up from crying so hard. I went in there several times to comfort her, but that was obviously the last thing she wanted. Every time I would go in there it made it worse. She finally calmed down and came to me in the kitchen and wrapped her arms around my legs and hugged me! I picked her up and we went and sat on the front poorch and rocked for about 15 minutes and then she wanted to go inside for a snack. & For the rest of the day she has been fine.

I have no idea where she has seen this behaviour. We do not yell at eachother in my house and we sure do not beat the holy crap out of our baby! I am not saying that I do not get annoyed and raise my voice to her, but we are not screamers. My husband and I do not yell at eachother and we hardly ever fight. We disagree all the time, but we have learned to "drop it" over the years. So this is very strange.

She has recently started going to Mother's Day Out, but other than that she is with me 24/7. I do not feel that she has been hurt or even seen someone hurt, but after today I am begining to wonder. I am fully comfortable with her teachers and other kids at MDO so I do not know if I am missing something or what.

I know that kids have temper tantrums, I have some really good ones in my day, but this was aweful! I do not know if I am being a freak over nothing, or if I should really take a look at our surroundings. Or maybe it is that I just need to be more stern with her when she has this fits. That is IF & WHEN she pulls this crap again.

Maybe this is the begining of the terrible 2's. & If that is the problem, I am going to work full time & she is going to daycare! I am just kidding, but OHHHHH in the world do you poor moms put up with this (& worse) day in and day out? Bless your hearts!

Thanks for any info!
......and that's all I have to say about that.......

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Old 10-26-2004, 09:29 PM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 97
dentalnitemare HB User
Re: I am worried....

The advice to distract her does work very well some of the time,with my little one,it didn't work all the time,it either worked very well or not at all.My child has spit in my face too,and believe me I know how upset that can make you,but you have to remember they are a child.You sound like a very good mother.I've read alot of your post on you MIL,I have one of those too that I'd like to stay away from too.It could be your child was just very upset because she couldn't get the doll out,then it could be that wonderful stage they go through.Mine is 4 and he's still in it....LOL...

Old 10-27-2004, 07:16 AM   #3
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Kiera1595 HB User
Re: I am worried....

Sounds pretty normal to me. The only thing that made me go wow was the spitting. My son is 18 months. I have seen this behavior too. I am also the type of mom that lets my child figure things out. I really let him be independent and try not to interfere with anything. These little ones get frustrated and being so young do not know what to do with the emotion. I have seen my son get upset with something and then hit it. Like the other day he ran into the wall (did not get hurt). Then he got up and hit the wall and tried to bite it (took all my control not to laugh out loud). Like the other poster said, I do not think that she was trying to "hurt the baby" I'm not sure about the time out room. But I am no child expert. I know that we do mini time outs. Usually when he hits me (which also happens when he's upset) I tell him that we do not hit and then I take him straight to his room and put him in his crib. I don't pay attention to him, but I do stay in the room. He crys for a few mintues and then everything is ok. I try not to do timeouts when he's just frustrated with a task or when I know he's lashing out because he is tired. His temper always seems to be quicker right before naps or bedtime. Then I just say I know that he is frustrated and take away or solve the problem that he has.

Just like we have bad days, maybe your daughter was having a rough day. Perhaps it was the frustration plus a bit sleepy or hungry and maybe feeling a little under the weather. I wouldn't worry too much about it until it becomes a repeat occurance.

Old 10-27-2004, 08:07 AM   #4
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Ratatosk HB UserRatatosk HB User
Re: I am worried....

DS is 16 months old and when he gets frustrated he head butts, pulls my hair and pinches -- oh, and sometimes he does the nipple twist. Yesterday DH and I talked about how they sent the wrong baby home from school with us -- they sent us the crabby baby. He had a meltdown at dinner and started whipping his farm animals at me and he just wouldn't calm down. I was beginning to think there was something seriously wrong with him -- that he was sick, 'cuz he kept screaming. Next day the nice baby came back. Just think he gets so frustrated and doesn't know how to tell us what he needs. That and we got what DH deserves in children. Rumor has it he was an abolute TERROR for his parents and a sweet little boy at school.

Old 10-27-2004, 04:03 PM   #5
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haleysmum HB User
Re: I am worried....

Hi Im also not too sure if the time out thing will work My sister has recently started doing that these past coule of weeks and my niece is only 18 months old I just wonder if they really understand at such a young age ????? I wouldnt be too concerned about her actually hitting the baby doll....Like another poster said, she probably wouldnt even relate the doll as a real baby...My mum actually told me a story about myself at around the same age...I was in the back garden with my toy pram and also was trying to get the doll out, when I couldnt apparantly I started smashing the pram over and over again into the fence LOL
Im sure with your little girl, she was just venting her anger...A little worrying yes, but still completely normal...
Another lady mentioned head butting...My son also done that when he was a baby, it frightened the life out of me.....He use to head butt walls everything......He eventually grew out of it thank god....
GOOD LUCK with the terrible two's which Im sure this is just the beginning

Old 10-27-2004, 06:35 PM   #6
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Ksavage HB User
Re: I am worried....

OK....I feel much better about this whole thing now! Thank you guys so much.

I have to admit the nipple twist has to be one of the many things I hope she NEVER figures out! That is pretty funny though. Riley will sit in my lap and slam her head RIGHT INTO MY NOSE!

About the whole time-out issue. I do not think that she gets it 100 % but she does know that when we have to go sit in the chair, she does seem to behave after a board stiffening fit. It is not something that we do very often, but I am trying to slowly introduce it to her. That, and standing in the corner. She has even gone and put herself in the corner twice when she knew she was in trouble. We just laughed at her, which isn't the thing to do but we could'nt help ourselves!

She has been her normal self since the big episode yesterday, so we'll see how things go. She has M-D-O in the morning & I am afraid she will have a melt down there as well. She will probably kick the crap out of another baby doll anf they will think we do that to her at home! Mark said that I should warn them about what she did and ask them to tell me if it happens at school. I guess I will, just so they will know, and hopefully not think anything bad!

Thanks again everyone!

Big hugs! Kim
......and that's all I have to say about that.......

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