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update, and alot of other rambling

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Old 11-09-2004, 09:04 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 61
myladyshyanne HB User
update, and alot of other rambling

First, I wanted to give a quick update of the situation with my 9 year old. Yesterday was a decent day. Today, I took him to the therapist. He told her fib after fib. How he was punched- then he pinched a kid (he's already admitted to pinching first), how he plays with fire all the time (absolutely NOT true), and how he burnt himself 4 times-one of those times he burnt his intire hand-front and back (NOT NOT NOT true). How I stabbed him with the pencil-NOT true. Just everything. He told her voices mumble stuff to him-but he can't understand what their saying.....the other day, he told me the same thing....only he told me that one time he knew what they were saying-and they told him to punch a kid in the nose. I don't even know what to believe with him anymore. His temper, his fibs, his inability to focus, his over all mood swings-happy, sad, angry, everything is really taking its toll on me. I hardly sleep anymore. I've found myself staying up until all hours quilting and typing on the puter. I have an appointment in a week with a new psyc. doctor. Hopefully I'll be able to get my sleeping meds refilled. I've been out for about a month now. Switching doctors threw everything off.

And I'd like to share something with you- and ask for some prayers....
My last pregnancy was difficult. With the depression, liver disease, back problems, low iron-just everything. I lost weight instead of gaining. My uterus was low on fluid at one point, and my son had two cysts on his brain, and was failing to thrive. The doctor told us there was a chance my son would be born with a type of down syndrome called Trisomy 18. We didn't know whether to buy clothes for him, or prepare for the worst. My husbands grandma put money aside for a funeral. I was lost. You can't imagine how elated I was when I heard my baby cry. A few days after we left the hospital, we were back for a three night stay. Nothing major- just high billiruben. The nurses must have thought I was a total freak. They kept telling me not to worry, that lots of babies have this problem-their livers are premature, and it takes a little while for them to kick on. Try telling that to someone who's liver is taking a crap....and one of the things with trisomy 18, is that it affects organs. They also found some kind of loop or something in his intestine (I think thats what they called it). I was a wreck. But every thing went okay.
He hasn't been growing very good though, and he lost 8 ounces in a 2 week period this month. He gained it back though. Anyhow, yesterday he had his well child check. The doctor was alarmed because his fotennel isn't closing (at two months it should be open 1-1 1/2 inches.... his is a good 1 1/2 inches at 6 months). He said we need to keep an eye on it. So, last night I was reading up on it. And it said that some of the things that cause it are down syndrome, trisomy 18, failure to thrive in the womb, and several other things.
When I read that, I just kept remembering what the O.B. doctor had said. Even though I don't see anyway he can have trisomy 18, I still find myself petrified about it. I know it's probably the lack of sleep, and being on edge lately with my oldest......but please keep him in your prayers- He's a tuff little guy. My little "midget" we call maricle.

And last but not least....Christmas.
I was reading a post by someone else about christmas....and it got me thinking. What is a good idea for x-mas? Every year, it seems like people go out of their way, spending money they can't afford on items which will probably get seldomly used. I've done it- every year. Last year, I took what money I had in my IRA, and spent it on gifts. My husband took out a loan against his 401k, and spent it on gifts also. And the kids really have nothing to show for it. They faught more over a box- then they did that "perfect toy". My husband can't stand the idea of not spending half a fortune on his family- so he bought them a bunch of pricey stuff- and to this day, I have never really seen any of it used. Oh well. Tonight he asked me what I thought he should get his family. I told him I didn't care- but a home made quilt sounded good. It just seems to me like everyone has lost sight of what Christmas is about. Everyone seems to put a price tag on it. What is wrong with giving a homemade quilt? Something someone has put heart and soul into making? Thats what I'm giving my family- I guess if he wants to buy a gift, instead of make one- thats his choice. Its pretty much the same way with alot of people I know though. Am I the one who's wrong? I had suggested that for our families gift exchange, instead of exchanging store bought gifts, exchange homemade items- they have far more heartfelt value. I guess no one else agrees in the family though. But, we are doing one thing different this year. Instead of adults getting gifts, the adults are getting together (from my side of the family), and making a big dinner for the local homeless shelter. Their still exchanging store bought for the kids though. Maybe the last year and a half of my life is just allowing me to look at things from a different perspective. I don't know. But I know I'm giving out quilts this year. Homemade quilts, and homemade photo albums-complete with family memories. In ten years, we'll see which gifts are still around-my husbands-or mine.

What are your x-mas traditions? What is everyone else doing for x-mas? Anyone else giving homemade items?


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Old 11-09-2004, 11:47 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 718
Chrissi HB User
Re: update, and alot of other rambling

first of all i am sorry to hear about your sons lying.....i hope so much that things improve...

and about the little one i will pray, but i am sure all will be just fine with your little fighter.....God has given him life against the odds, he has a purpose on earth and he will be staying to furfill it

i am totally with you on the home made vs. bought thing....i am actually glad i read this, i may make my MIL a quilt now , i showed her the baby blanket and matching pillow i hand sewed in one day and she was bragging on me big time
people have forgotten the real meaning of christmas...Christ's B-day, not gifts gifts gifts

i plan on doing homemade gifts with my DD when she is older (and with the baby occupying my belly right now)
i will of course buy gifts too but i want to to do some things the old fashioned way and i want to do the pop corn strings on the tree and home made ornaments.
DD Born:10-13-2003
DS Born: 5-04-2005

Old 11-10-2004, 06:02 AM   #3
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 26
SouthernGlitter HB User
Re: update, and alot of other rambling

I am sorry to hear about your sons lying.. and hopefully things will get better..
My daughter was the opposite.. She would lie and not tell anyone.. it wasn't until after I became a stay at home mom again did she start telling me things.. I mean things she did like 2 years she followed me around for almost 2 weeks telling me stuff.. in the bathroom, shower, didn't matter.. lol .As far as the little guy is concerned I will pray, but I agree with Chrissi he is a little fighter and has a purpose.. Things will work out..

As far as Christmas goes.. My daughters birthday is in OCT and we decided a long time ago that for her bday she would get a couple of toys and winter clothes, and for Christmas she got mostly toys and a few clothes.. Mind you we never give her alot at Christmas because she gets alot from our families.. we have always taken her out after Christmas and let her pick ONE THING out that she really wanted and didn't get, but she had to have been good to get it.. I would love to make more homemade things for our families, but I am no good with crafts and things.. hahaha Now that our daughter is older (10) we decided that for birthdays and Christmas we would buy her one thing she wants, a couple things she needs and give her a gift card so she can pick out what she wants.. We are doing this for the other children in our families too. Everyone in our families decided not to get things for the adults, just for the kids.. Since we don't live close enough we can no longer do the gift exchange for them, but we do have limits on how much we get the gift cards for.. and by age as well. So maybe that can be an idea for you to go along with your homemade gifts

Old 11-10-2004, 07:32 PM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma-USA
Posts: 561
Ksavage HB User
Re: update, and alot of other rambling

I would love for someone to take the time to make me a homemade quilt! I have allways wanted one. I would really like a denim one if ya don't mind!

Let's talk about Christmas 1st!

We used to go all out and go dead broke trying to please everyone and get them the "perfect" gift. NOT ANYMORE! For my bestfriend, I go through my pictures throughout the year and make a colage for her. It has our kids together & our husbands together some are black & white and others are in full color. & then I allways sneak at least one of us in when we were kids. I usually only spend about $10 on the whole thing and she loves it. We look at it and laugh and cry together. It is so much fun.

For my family ( adults) we just usually but 1 thing for each. And usually we get them a gift card for them to go to the movies or go to Blockbusters and I will add in some popcorn and goodies for them to snack on during the movie. I have learned that they seem to like that just as much. & my family is pretty down to earth and none of us have a lot of money so we do not try to out-do people as far as gifts go. So that makes it pretty easy on everyone.

For my MIL I just baught her a set of Fiesta dishes from Dillards for her birthday and that is something that I can add to every year. I never know what to buy her except for cigerettes.

For the kids we do not spend a lot of money on all the kids, but for Riley I start in July and but her some pretty neat stuff. All I have left to get her is the one from Santa and hubby & I are fighting over that at the moment. I also do stocking stuffers and I will buy those for her up until the day of probably.

Mark & I do not ever spend a lot of money on eachother. We usually buy one big thing fo rthe house. But this year we are saving our money for the beach house we rented in Florida is March, so that is our Christmas this year.

What fun is blowing a bunch of money on Christmas when that adds more worries and concern to your already hectic life. (that is what I thought anyway) It just took the fun out of it for me.

Sleep is next.....

I went through a pretty rough time a few years ago with my brother & was with him when he died. I had to have my Doctor give me something to help me sleep. He did & it worked great. But addiction runs in my family and I was afraid to take them because of that and my Doctor told me to get the generic
benedryl. It is Equate Diphenhydramamine and each tablet is 25 mgs. I take 5 of them when I need a little help sleeping and they work great. I am not drugy and I can still get up with Riley if she needs me and I can function. You might talk to your Doctor and try those until you can get another script. You need to get as much sleep as you can. Understandible why you can't though.

Prayers for you baby.....

I will absolutely add him to my prayers. I know that as a Momma you can't help but worry, but if he is anywhere near as strong as you are he is going to be just fine. Has he been to a Geneiologists? (sp ? ) What all have the Doctors said about your concerns? & for petes sake.......please please please do not believe everything you read on this stupid internet! I know you are smart enough to know that, but this thing scares me to death sometimes. My husband actuslly hid the keyboard from me once because everyday he would come home and I would be upset or worried about one thing or another. FOR NO REASON!

& now for your little fibber........

Believe it or not.....I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS!
I wish I knew what to tell you, other than stay on the right track and keep searching for help, support, and answers! I am sure that the counselors know better than to believe everything he says to them. I pray for him also. I just hope things lighten up on you pretty soon. Just hang in there and stick by his side. You are his rock right now & I am sure he would love to throw you through a wndow or two but he does not mean the things he says. I just think his little brain is moving 10 x's the speed of light and he just can't keep know what I mean!

& last but NOT least.......
Did I mention that I would for someone to make me a homemade quilt?
......and that's all I have to say about that.......

Old 11-12-2004, 10:27 AM   #5
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: michigan
Posts: 225
fouradss HB User
Re: update, and alot of other rambling

You will be in my thoughts and prayers! I thought you might like to know that my nephew had the same fontinell problem. They were thinking that they might have to send him for a catscan. After a few months he was back on track. Just one of those things. Hopefully your little one will do the same!!

Have a wonderful thanksgiving and christmas


Old 11-26-2004, 03:08 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma-USA
Posts: 561
Ksavage HB User
Re: update, and alot of other rambling

Hi there Ladyshy! I have been gone for a while and am now back to check in on you and see how you have been doing.

I have not been able to find any recent posts from you aside from this one, so I thought I would send it back to you and hope for a responce.

I hope all is well!

......and that's all I have to say about that.......

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