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Sex and my 11 year old

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Old 11-18-2004, 04:43 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 93
cajunmommy HB User
Red face Sex and my 11 year old

I overheard my daughter and a friend talking about their periods. The friend was telling her some really crazy things, so when she left I decided to have the talk with her(about periods and sex, you really can't have one without the other? ) It went really well, she asked some questions and I answered them honestly without being to graphic. I walked in her room tonight and caught her with a pillow between her legs humping it like a dog!!! What the hell was that????????? Should I be worried??? Should I have a talk again??? I immediately asked what she was doing and she just said that she itched! HELP!!

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Old 11-18-2004, 05:39 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2003
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siren1024 HB User
Re: Sex and my 11 year old

Well, I KNOW it's weird for you. But she's had the talk now and is trying it out. I remember I immediately started masturbating after I found out all about the birds and the bees (I found out alot at about 9 because I was curious and read alot.) because I was just totally curious about the whole thing. She could've been fantasizing with the pillow.

She's getting to the age where she's going to have hormonal urges. I would definitely talk to her about abstinance from real sex. I don't believe in actually TALKING about or explaining masturbation with your kids (unless they ask, I suppose, then you keep it simple! it just totally freaked me out when my parents did!) but expect them to do it and don't make a big deal out of it. Pretend like you believe her if she's caught and makes up something cause she's embarrassed. But yeah, I think it's all 100% normal fantasy/curiosity and I wouldn't freak out about it.

I'm only 23 myself, and remember those days clearly. I have a toddler who I can't imagine having to deal with the sex stuff with!!! It's so weird when it's your own kid, and you can never admit to yourself that they are actually old enough for that!!!!
Married 09/28/2002
DS born 07/05/2003
DD born 3/24/2005

Old 11-19-2004, 03:54 AM   #3
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Kiera1595 HB User
Re: Sex and my 11 year old

I wouldn't worry at all, what she is doing is perfectly normal. I remember doing the same thing long before I ever thought about doing stuff with boys (besides maybe a kiss)...I just knew that it felt good. She is now probably totally freaked out that you "caught" her doing that, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Most kids are going to do it, and personally I think it's a good way for them to come to terms with their bodies and feelings. Maybe if you walk in on her again, bring it up (later) as a no big deal thing and just say I know what you are doing and it's perfectly normal thing to be done in private. That way she won't feel ashamed and think she's weird. It's time to start knocking LOUDLY and waiting before you go into her room.

Old 11-19-2004, 09:20 AM   #4
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FaithfulyWaiting HB User
Re: Sex and my 11 year old

I agree that it's normal, and you shouldn't make a huge deal out of it. Kids know ALOT these days. I'm only 18, but I know my younger sisters(10 & 12) know ALOT compared to what I knew at that age. I'm preg. with my first, and Idread the day I'm gonna have to have "the talk" lol. Anyways, I think it's normal.

Old 11-19-2004, 10:46 AM   #5
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sweetangelbaby HB User
Re: Sex and my 11 year old

its normal. my little cousin and i have had the talk cuz i don't want her to turn out like me and she has done the same things. her mom won't talk to her bout that kind of stuff so she comes to her cousin who is 16 and she is bout to be 13 and now she is understanding but i told her never to do what i did. she said she wouldn't but i never did anything like that i just went to having sex when i was 15 and i hope the same thing don't happen to her
a child is precious. hold them while u can. if they die atleast let them know that u love them
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Old 11-19-2004, 01:07 PM   #6
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 386
Dream0n83 HB User
Re: Sex and my 11 year old

I'm 21. And I was doing the same thing at that age. I discovered other things to use other then my pillow. I'd close my door usually, and my 'rents were pretty good about giving a little knock b4 they enter. that way i could pull it off like i wasnt doing anything.

I'd say its normal. No need for a talk. At least its a pillow and not a boy. Good for you having a talk w/her! My dad gave my brother and i a talk when we were like 8 and 9 and i dont recall much. Good luck!

Old 11-21-2004, 05:28 AM   #7
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: NY, USA
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TerryB HB User
Re: Sex and my 11 year old

It's normal. If she does it in a common area of the house then I'd tell her that she needs to go to her room to do that because it is a private thing.

Old 11-25-2004, 08:15 PM   #8
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Gilbert, AZ, USA
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LiveYourDreams HB User
Re: Sex and my 11 year old

I'm 18 but I never did that stuff. My daughter is 1 month old and I just can't imagine having that talk with her! I think it's just a normal thing that your daughter is doing cause a lot of people on here said they did the same thing.
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Ammalin Rose - 10.23.2004
Nevaeh Marie - 05.16.2006

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