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    Old 12-01-2004, 08:26 PM   #16
    jc60656
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    I just wanted to let you know that your post reminded me alot of myself when I was a teenager too! My parents caught me in similar situations, and at the time I was so angry, and of course thought that they were being so unjust. But honestly, as time went on, I was able to make good decisions because I didn't want to upset them. And now, my best friend and I laugh about some of the stupid things we did, and we have said "Thank God our parents were so involved" on NUMEROUS occasions because we can look back and appreciate their efforts. And even today, I am honest with my parents and we are closer than I ever thought possible. So, keep doing what you are doing. No matter what- don't ever feel like the bad guy. Also, its important to let your daughter know that she isn't necessarily the bad guy either...because we all know that kids will experiment, but emphasize that you can only consider it a mistake if it happens once.

    Good Luck- you seem to be doing an excellent job.
    Janine

     
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    Old 12-02-2004, 06:23 AM   #17
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    Goody, I think you should tell your neighbor everything that she can handle. I counted three major problems to tell her. Tell her them one at a time, seeing how she reacts to each one before attempting the next. Unless she suspects something, I would assume any one of the problems would floor her. You never mentioned if she is married or has someone for support. I ask because it would be extra tough to handle such news as a single parent.

    Please keep us posted, Goody, and God bless you all.

    Hey...Heartland Yes I came up with a plan. I did call my nest door neighbor/friend & scheduled breakfast for Tuesday. She is married and a pretty decent person...we have had some problems in the past in terms of childrearing. Our daughters have been friends since the kindergarden and her daughter was a little racier than mine yelling obsenities over our fence when in 3rd or 4th grade. They drifted apart a few years as friends and then reunited in junior high. Granted....my neighbor is not what I would consider my closest friend...ironically we attended the same high school her being a year ahead of me and into smoking/drinking & the such whereas I was as my user name suggests a "goody2shoes". We often laugh about that...she has the mouth of a truck driver which shocks everyone (just her way) and she will mow you down when it comes to being a children's advocate and that is sorta why I chose to have my daughter stay there...besides it being the closest place in proximity of my home. Now my neighbor, althougjh having this past history no longer drinks (still curses) and scares most of the kids because she don't take any nonsense. And she is stricter than any parent I know. So with that history here is the plan.

    I will open up with saying that she needs to sit down because some of the things I am going to share with her will be upsetting. I will go on to tell her that I have learned of some information that concerns both of our daughters and as a neighbor & friend I feel I need to tell her & it was an inner struggle for me to determine whether it was the right thing to do...and that I have no doubt in my mind at this time that it is as difficult as it may be.

    I will first assure her that I heard these things from several sources and ruled out the possibility of them being a result of gossip/rumor by validating their truthfulness with my daughter. We'll let my daughter be K and her's be D

    1) Our daughters have been smoking weed together....for sometime now and mostly during the time that K was at your house. They got it from D's friend, who K knows as well but whom D spends alot of time with and K only went to his home on one occasion while she was with you. K says that most of the time the smoking took place in D's room when you took K in. K swears that they are no longer doing it after a scary incident when they smoked too much and caused their hearts to race...but I am not sure myself as to whether or not this is true. I just learned of this the day I scheduled our breakfast and feel it is my responsibility to let you know (BTW D's mother is aware that D has smoked weed "only once" as K had admitted to us prior to drug screening and D fessed up to lessen the punishment from her mom figuring that I would inform her....so she is aware that D has used weed just not to this extent)

    2) K also has informed me that D & her as well as many of their friends have been drinking for sometime. As you are already aware of there was an incident involving alcohol that took place in our home last week, not involving D. When getting information from K it was disclosed by her that your son had purchased a bottle of Rum and provided it to D & K to use. K gave us the empty bottle which contents had been used over an undetermined amount of time. I learned of this, again, on the day I scheduled our breakfast.

    3) We come to the most difficult part of my task...the reason being that I have known this for a longer period of time....and was once again torn about whether or not to tell you. D has been sexually active with her last boyfriend & has had unprotected sex and even had the fear of possibly being pregnant. This again has been validated by K who pleaded with me at the time not to tell....I weighed it and was so leaning towards telling you, looking for the opportune time, when I got to it you shared out of the blue how you were in a similar predicament with one of your son's friends and decided it was best not to tell & with that I stopped myself leaving it in check to share if I saw a stronger reason to & vowing to watch over D myself. However....most recently I discovered from reliable sources that D's ex BF has a history of having sex with at least 10 other girls and I feel you needed to know so that you can have her tested for STD's and insure she be properly treated if necessary.


    I am so certain that I am doing the right thing.....I think going in the order of things as outlined above would be the best route. Any suggestions....I am sure it will be the hardest day of my life and I don't know how things will go in terms of our friendship...I'm afraid she may see my daughter as infiltrating her home ( and believe me I don't mean to cast any stones but the supplier of the weed is a mere aquaintance to my daughter but a very close friend of D's to the point that I heard that she has a drawer full of clothes at his house that's how often she's there, whereas, my daughter was there once when she went with D while living at here house.) I will in no way place blame on anyone....it is really my daughter's choice and whom I place the blame...however, I most fear that my neighbor may see my daughter's problems as the ignitor to her daughters. She is going to be quite shocked....last we spoke she was going on how responsible D is at parties to the point of going since she was in 6th grade & calling whenever there was alcohol to being picked up. Meanwhile....my daughter's first party that she attended at a house was to D's friend's party who is supplying the weed to them. We have a rule who's house and who's there, what type of function & what are you doing, when (Timeframe), where (the address & phone #), & how(who will be driving). If we know the person & their parents are home, we are okay with the time not interfering with our plans/curfew, and that it is function that we see morally okay she is allowed to go. D's mom did check with me about K accompanying D to the party and after her alleviating my concerns of not knowing the family as well as another good friend of mine giving the thumbs up...we let her go. Not my friends fault....more mine and certainly even more K's.

    Soo...what are your thoughts if any....I have a long weekend ahead & just want to see if my plan is layed out correctly. would appreciate any constructive critisism(sp??) that you've got.....Goody

     
    Old 12-02-2004, 08:28 AM   #18
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Yikes!!!!

    This is exactly why I have dogs and cats instead of kids!

    I don't have much advice Goody, but I just wanted to say good luck and I am rooting for you!!!!!!

     
    Old 12-02-2004, 11:36 AM   #19
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Hey, Goody

    I am quite impressed with your plan, especially its detail. It is very well thought out. The only thing I don’t understand is why the meeting won’t occur before Tuesday. Waiting that long to do what you have to do would kill me. Is your neighbor unavailable before then or is there some other complication?

    When deciding how to handle problems like those covered in this thread, we frequently justify our plans and actions based on our religious upbringings and beliefs. I am under the assumption that Tom is Roman Catholic, like I am. If you are, too, then some thoughts might be easier to convey or justify. For instance, it is amazing how often when I have a problem, the Sunday gospel takes on a new meaning for me and clarifies the issues. Being unsure of your religion, I have once avoided referencing an applicable point from the week’s gospel. If you understand what I am saying and think it serves your best interests, you may want to identify your religious denomination.

    When I wrote you yesterday about constructive discipline, I was concerned about advising of shorter groundings because Tom and you appear to be slightly stricter than we were with our oldest. Indeed, some advise that strict is the way to go. However, you said today that your neighbor “is stricter than any parent I know”, yet look at how ineffective it has been for her. I doubt if any method of childrearing and discipline is effective in eliminating experimentation. Teens experiment until it loses its excitement. I think when teens see their parents as being too strict, the teens find additional excitement in experimenting and do it more often and for a longer duration. Breaking their parents rules becomes a game and they gain status with their peers by sharing their exploits. (Look at how much “dirt” K’s male friend knew and was willing to reveal!!! Teens do share their exploits!)

    I believe the best we can do as parents is to add no additional challenge or excitement to experimentation and to help our teens mature as quickly as possible. If we can shorten the amount of time our teens spend experimenting, we shorten their period of risk. This does not mean avoiding discipline. For instance, grounding is an effective discipline as long as a teen resists correction; beyond that point it becomes an irritant and a negative influence. (Imagine a doctor telling you to remain in bed for a full month even though it took you only two weeks to completely heal. How would you react to those orders?) I believe it is up to the parents to monitor and evaluate the progress of grounded teen. A book report grounding helps the parents and teen interact so progress is somewhat easier to evaluate. Reading a self-improvement book provides the teen with positive reinforcement rather than boredom during the grounding. If you have any questions, please ask.

     
    Old 12-02-2004, 02:36 PM   #20
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Heartland...I must reply quickly for it is Tom's birthday and we would like to celebrate and my younger daughter has a chamber choir concert with a solo and she is playing the trumpet as well...the birthday boy is thrilled to be sharing his stage with her Please forgive me if I don't address everything I will update most likely tomorrow.

    Anyway...as it turns out our breakfast turned out to be an afternoon snack session. The girls got together and realized we were having lunch and my daughter called from school saying that D wanted to tell her mom everything because she knew about the lunch date( saw it on the calendar) I told my daughter that D would have to do what she thought was right and we hung up. Now the reason we couldn't meet earlier than Tuesday was because of my neighbor's hectic schedule...I did tell her we had important stuff to discuss and Tuesday was the earliest. Well I called her cell wanting to inform her before she spoke to her daughter and told her it was urgent that she give me 15 minutes of her time. She wanted the info over the phone and I told her that what I had to say would have to be done face to face. She told me that I was scaring her and to meet her at her volunteer job right away. Not exactly the scenario that I had planned on and what lately in my life has been???? Actually my neighbor has IBS and I just recently had major intestinal surgery so the breakfast idea wouldn't have been the best setting for our conversation to take place.

    All & all it went well. She kept on saying "I'm gonna kill her" the italian side of her coming out It took the longest for us to formulate a plan...we both agreed that it would be best to act cool and wait for D to fess up and plan #2 if she didn't would be for my friend to tell D that our breakfast date took place early and for her to spill it all and to tell all because I had already told all. We made an appointment with a gyn...we have the same pediatricians and I helped her with that. She has an appointment to have testing for STD's on Tuesday.

    We figure that this way we will gain more knowledge and anything left out so no more surprises come popping out. I'm expecting to hear some more after the interrogation next door tonite.

    Anyway....please don't think I didn't acknowledge your plan yesterday...it's a wonderful one but when we presented it to our daughter...she cried & took it as if we were placing another punishment rather than seeing it as a substitution. When we asked her to come up with her own...she made mention of all the things we had done thus far but not your plan. We asked her to entertain it...she broke down and I told her she didn't have to decide right then & there but to let us know if she wanted our original punishment or to go to Borders with me after we had lunch to pick out a book together and perhaps use the time she had on her hands to do something constructive and lessen the length of her punishment by getting it done. I also gave her the choice of visiting a local drug/alcohol shelter run by our church that houses people who need emergency intervention when using alcohol/drugs and volunteering to assist in some way. And Heartland...we are Roman Catholics as well...we have made it a point to put attending mass as a family as our highest priority these past few months. We slacked off, I'm ashamed to say to attending 1-2 times/month and it was one of the first changes we made as a family and I am glad we did. I teach CCD and have for over 12 years and have a pastoral degree from college as a minor....which I am proud of. I taught my oldest daughter's class until Confirmation and am doing the same for my younger daughter. So feel free to share anything you have heard at mass or in your homily...this past Sunday's mass was great with the /gospel telling us to be ready and to put away the darkness & put on the light making ourselves ready for Jesus' coming this Advent season. We light our Advent candles each night at dinner and I really have tried to relate our lives to God & His commandments and yet I feel I have failed in someway. That's what hurts the most and I am now saying like you shared with me last time to "LET GO & LET GOD" another saying I love. Basically I have done my best to instill good morals in my children and yet they seem to be more influenced by this world and I often fear them being lost to it. I'm sure many parents feel the same way.

    I am going to bake Tom a cake...last minute thing...he really doesn't expect anyting but I like to make the fuss. He layed down for a nap (he doesn't want to embaress our daughter by falling asleep at her big debeau and by the way asked me to thank you for your plan and continued support. I will post tomorrow....this turned out longer than I thought as usual. Thanks for listening...I am blessed to have you as my friend....Goody

    Susie...I am going to have dogs instead of kids in my next life...they don't talk back and they don't drink or do drugs either

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 12-02-2004 at 03:12 PM.

     
    Old 12-02-2004, 03:36 PM   #21
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    See when I was a teenager, I was determined to drink. We would lye to our parents and go and drink in the park every weekend. It got scary sometimes 5 young girls in the park 12 o'clock drinking. When I turned 16 and my freind was left in the park all nioght with alchol poisioning (it's a miricle they survived) my parents knew I was going to drink no matter what they let me and my friends drink at my house. That way they knew how much we were drinking and they could supervise what was going on. After my parents did that it wasn't essentual to drink all the time, and we knew when we did we would be safe. I'm not saying that that is what you should do but it was the best situation for me. And when my daughter gets older I would rather supervise her drinking than her go off into the park because they are teens and they will do what they want.

     
    Old 12-02-2004, 06:45 PM   #22
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Happy Birthday, Tom!!!

    Oh, yeah... hi, Goody we've started the twelve days of Christmas decorating here so this will be very short. I am tickled with how you handled and negotiated a constructive punishment. Your daughter was given options and was asked for suggestions so she has no reason to complain (as if that makes a difference ). Like your plan with your neighbor, my plans have prepared you for success even though things never go according to plan... that's the nature of planning. You did well, my friends.

    Celebrate and have fun tonight, you two

    Last edited by heartlandguy; 12-02-2004 at 06:53 PM.

     
    Old 12-03-2004, 06:04 AM   #23
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Sheri....I can understand what you are saying and my daughter says the same thing. But we're dealing with a double edged sword here. If we put our seal of approval on this and allow drinking in our home we are giving kids a mixed message and also holding ourselves accountable. I know that many parents as myself would not approve of our providing liquor to their children and it is also illegal to do so. I do want to keep my daughter & her friends safe without burying my head in the sand...I am just trying to find the tools in order to do so. There are various tactics I'm sure & I have a feeling what worked with one kid may not work with another. Susie shared one in her post of her friend being forced to drink & smoke until she fell ill.... and although I'm quite tempted to try that one today the cops would be be knocking on our door with child endangerment charges. The same goes for your idea....legally my husband & I could be charged with providing liquor to a minor. No....I don't believe in two wrongs making it right.

    So...I'm doing the best that I can and not being dumb enough to think that my daughter win't going to dirink. My job is to keep her safe and yes I fear that my tactics may cause her to experiment anyway. I don't know what to do right now....I'm just coming up for air from it all.

    Heartland...thanks for your post as well. Tom sorta was gipped of being centerstage and has always said don't buy me cards, make me cakes get me presents...I'm not that kind of guy....well it so turned out to be that sort of day...one of those that we don't exactly plan on. HE was a litte down & out...I managed to make that cake & it was great. It was that it seems that the kids are taking center stage and as much as I am trying to avoid that it sometimes gets out of our control. Still...I put together a homemade card in a last minute effort. My one daughter went out to have icecream with her best friend's family to celebrate her night. And I took the opportunity to really act ****** as my older daughter (I cdon't do this very often) I asked her what she did to acknowlege her father's birthday. I told her how she with her self centered ,selfish,& self serving behavior lately had been taking it's toll on him. And I told her also that whether she knew it or not that Tom often is so overwhelmed with the fear of getting a call one night and having to identify one or both of his brothers in a morgue from an overdose of some sort. And I went on to say that he must now have the fear of her choosing a similar path if things continure to go on the way they are in her life. I cried...and she was quiet and she went up to her romm and presented Tom with a homemade card of her own with a handwritten apology for the poor decisions she has mad lately and a promise of improving in that area of her life. I took her aside and told her that what she did was the most valuable gift she could ever give her dad & I. So that's where we're at


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    I believe the best we can do as parents is to add no additional challenge or excitement to experimentation and to help our teens mature as quickly as possible. If we can shorten the amount of time our teens spend experimenting, we shorten their period of risk. This does not mean avoiding discipline. For instance, grounding is an effective discipline as long as a teen resists correction; beyond that point it becomes an irritant and a negative influence. (Imagine a doctor telling you to remain in bed for a full month even though it took you only two weeks to completely heal. How would you react to those orders?) I believe it is up to the parents to monitor and evaluate the progress of grounded teen. A book report grounding helps the parents and teen interact so progress is somewhat easier to evaluate. Reading a self-improvement book provides the teen with positive reinforcement rather than boredom during the grounding. If you have any questions, please ask

    Heartland....I'm hoping that my daughter decides on her own to do that self help book and community service. She so far is choosing the month of total restriction and I'm okay with that so long as she knows that it is her choice. Right now whe has alot of academic catching up to do after missing 3 days of school over Thnksgiving due to my brother's wedding and our trip to the Bahamas. So I think she is seeing reading a book in addition to all that as too overwhelming...but I am sure when she is all caught up or she is tired of all the no TV. Computer, Phone, Seiing friends....she will reevaluate and that will be fine with me.

    Thnks for all your input & advice....it is allowing me to survive and tonite we will make up for the lack of Tom's birthday celebration by getting together with our closet friends for dinner....looking forward to gettng away from it all.....Goody

     
    Old 12-03-2004, 12:02 PM   #24
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by goody2shuz
    she was quiet and she went up to her romm and presented Tom with a homemade card of her own with a handwritten apology for the poor decisions she has mad lately and a promise of improving in that area of her life. I took her aside and told her that what she did was the most valuable gift she could ever give her dad & I.
    That is a special moment that will never be forgotten. She promised to become more responsible and you became the sunshine.

    I hesitate to add another observation when things seem to be turning around but I would feel negligent if I didn’t. You never mentioned talking to K about the last of the three major problems. Hopefully, K gained all of the experience she needs from D’s scary experience with sex. Still, now is the right time to check with K on this issue because it is commonly related to the other two problems she just experienced. Commonly related? The popularity of the saying, Wine, Women and Song and Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll says it all. (I’m not sure what music has to do with it ) Based on what you have revealed, I’m not suggesting making a big deal out of this. Rather, I suggest reminding her in your gentle way that bad experiences with sex usually involve alcohol or drugs.

    Quote:
    I'm hoping that my daughter decides on her own to do that self help book and community service. She so far is choosing the month of total restriction and I'm okay with that so long as she knows that it is her choice. . . . . . but I am sure when she is all caught up or she is tired of all the no TV. Computer, Phone, Seiing friends....she will reevaluate and that will be fine with me.
    Please update us if she decides to change her choice.

    Until she reached puberty, Tom and you were able to supply all her needs. Now that is no longer true. Her future happiness will depend her making good choices. You are doing your part by facilitating her as she learns that her choices have consequences. Like when she learned to walk, she will stumble and you will catch her… until she is able to walk away on her own.
    (BTW, the TV show, Joan of Arcadia, does an excellent job of focusing on this difficult time of life.)

    Quote:
    Thnks for all your input & advice
    Okay, Okay… I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I just wanted to leave you these parting shots and now will let Tom and you get on with your lives. If you need anything else, just ask… you know I don’t have ESP.

     
    Old 12-04-2004, 07:43 AM   #25
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Hi, I'm a mother of 3 boys (17, 14, 12). I just wanted to add something about teens drinking. Don't let it be an issue of it being black or white (NO DRINKING). We all know that teenagers like to experiment. I was a teenager once and I did drink and tried pot. We lived in a small town with nothing to do and at the time it seemed like everyone was doing it. Anyways, what I tell my sons is that they are not legally suppose to drink before they are 19 but if they did to do it responsibly.

    DO NOT drink and drive, and DO NOT hitch a ride with someone who drank. CALL US NO MATTER WHAT PLACE OR TIME IT IS. We will come and get you.

    DO NOT DRINK to the point of passing out and do not make someone drink till he/she passes out. It can be very dangerous. If someone does, DO NOT leave them alone.

    If you make it an issue of "you do NOT drink" then your child will be so afraid of the consequences that he/she will NOT call you to get help and will either drive under the influence or ride with someone who is under the influence.

    We, as parents also have the responsibility of giving then the right example. We should never drink and drive, and let our friends drive either.

    I think the best thing we can do is always have good communication with our kids, give them boundaries, let them know that we love them very much and then... cross our fingers and hope for the best.

    By the way I have a very responsible 17 year old.

    Last edited by Mica09; 12-04-2004 at 08:02 AM.

     
    Old 12-05-2004, 02:40 AM   #26
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Mica09:
    That was said perfectly. Drinking and driving is a very scary thing and my friends were always afraid to call for rides so they would just drive home. And now they are "use to" driving home drunk so they still do it. I have never or will never. Some have even blackout driving. I was never afraid to call and still call them (on very little occations mind you). They always came and picked me up. And my parents never supplied the alchol I had friends that always got it, they were of age.

     
    Old 12-06-2004, 08:51 AM   #27
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Just a quick update to all and response to Sheri and Mica as well as Heartland....

    Sheri & Mica....yes I have weighed the advise you have given me regarding my awareness to punishment vs. drinking & driving and experimentation issues. I do realize that I must be realistic that my daughter is going to drink & have said so to her and yes have spoken with her that despite my disapproval of drinking/drugs that if she were to ever call me becuase she or one of her friends have been drinking and she needed a ride home in order to be safe there would be no punishment. I have stressed that her safety and the safety of others comes first at all costs I must share with you that I came from the strictest of households...I mean my mom was a drill sergeant who ironically enough when my brother was in the army even his leaders were afraid of her!!! And I must say...despite so, none or my two brothers or I ever were involved in drinking/drugs/smoking and that in itself is remarkable in terms of statistics. I believe in openess and in teaching my daughters what is right and when they do something they know is wrong knowing that there will be consequences no matter when I find out. My daughter has seen firsthand that eventually us mothers always seem to have that gift of intuition that we are equipped with. I do appreciate your advice & want to reassure you that I have stressed lovingly to my daughter about drinking & driving and that all punishments are off when she acts responsibly.

    Heartland....I have covered the bad experiences in relation to the use of drugs/alcohol. As a matter of fact I discussed my concern with my daughter and her 2 closest friends while they were awaiting their rides last weekend after being caught. I gently told them about how we as parents were most worried about their use of alcohol's effect on their actions....that we all know that alcohol affects our decision making as well as overall judgement calls not only when it comes to driving but also in terms of our standards set in terms of sex. I told them that I am sure they have already in their minds as young woman set their limits in terms of how far they will go and that with the use of alcohol those limits could be easily crossed, or taken advantage of. And when the effects of the alcohol were long worn off they may regret some of the decisions they have made or things that had happened that may not have if they hadn't allowed alcohol to be part of their lives. I told them that it was only going to cause them problems if they were going to allow drinking to become the priority in their social life...that there were much healthier & smarter things to become involved in etc. I have spent much time talking & praying that all this sinks in. And when I found out about her friend's sexual experience I used that as a way to talk to my daughter as well in regard to STD's and the reality that her friend was left worrying about a pregnancy while the boy just walks away breaking up with her leaving her with the worries of it all.

    My daughter & I spent this weekend talking and filling our house with the spirit of Christmas. When we went to mass the message in the homily was about how we must be able to reconcile with God in regard to the poor decisions we have made in our lives...for in not doing so we are not able to go forward without our shortcomings weighing us down. My daughter peered over to me and smiled...I have always told her that when we go to mass that God speaks to us & all we have to do is listen. Her attitude & behavior has been so much better...we played a tape that was personalized of songs we played when she was a baby and reminised and even read a few of my journals that we discovered in the attic that I had written when I was her age. And we discovered together that I was not quite the goody2shuz that I proclaim to be...but overall I was a pretty good teenager. We laughed at some of the bad words I used (very mild but still there) and it was good for us to see that I was not perfect either and yet turned out to be a good person. And I assurred her that she would as well.

    So....we're surviving and doing the best that we can. I have been blessed in regard to being able to find out what is going on so that I can address the problems...some people are not afforded the gift of knowing in order to be able to do so. So...I consider myself lucky though at the time I only see it as a blessing in disguise. thanks for all the help and advice...these boards are wonderful & truly help me out....Goody

    Last edited by goody2shuz; 12-06-2004 at 08:54 AM.

     
    Old 12-06-2004, 10:18 AM   #28
    heartlandguy
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Thanks for the update, Goody. It's good to see that K is responding positively to your handling of her problems. A strong mother-daughter bond is probably the best insurance there is to avoid behavior problems. I'm sure you have already started thinking about what you will do differently with your younger daughter concerning experimentation.

    Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom, marriage and parenting.

    Last edited by heartlandguy; 12-06-2004 at 11:12 AM.

     
    Old 12-07-2004, 05:45 AM   #29
    goody2shuz
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by heartlandguy
    . I'm sure you have already started thinking about what you will do differently with your younger daughter concerning experimentation.
    Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom, marriage and parenting.
    And oh...have I learned the true meaning of that phrase. I have literally been baptized in fire here...and yes, the reward is that by the time we get to my younger daughter (which by the way is not very far off) we will have perfected our parenting skills in order to prevent half of what we've experienced with our oldest As they say...the oldest usually carves the way and by the time the next must travel, the path is cleared of thorns and overgrowth that has been sickled away by the one who has traveled before them.

    Thanks again, Heartland and hopefully things will calm down here for a while....that's all I want for Christmas ...Goody

     
    Old 12-08-2004, 06:25 AM   #30
    Mica09
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    Re: Teens Drinking

    Goody2shuz,

    Seems like your doing a great job.

     
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