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By What Age?

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Old 01-08-2005, 01:30 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2005
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PlayBoiBunny05 HB User
By What Age?

my boyfriend has a daughter that is 4 years old and we were woundering by what age should we sit her down and talk to her about sex?

Last edited by PlayBoiBunny05; 01-08-2005 at 01:30 AM.

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Old 01-08-2005, 03:00 AM   #2
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countrymom HB User
Re: By What Age?

Well I wouldn't plop her down and give her the "nitty gritty" just yet. THE talk shouldn't be just one talk anyway. You can start now with basics. You can teach her the name of her private parts (and the boys) and tell her about keeping them private. Teaching her about bad touch and good touch. Children should be given age appropriate information. You can also let her know that it takes a mommy and daddy to make a will probably be enough for her right now. HTH

Old 01-09-2005, 08:34 PM   #3
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trojanbaby HB User
Re: By What Age?

never. they teach you that at school. honestly a four year old does not need to know about sex.

Old 01-10-2005, 03:15 AM   #4
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Location: Seattle, WA
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Kiera1595 HB User
Re: By What Age?

Originally Posted by trojanbaby
never. they teach you that at school. honestly a four year old does not need to know about sex.

Never teach a child about sex and leave it up to the schools??? I think this is part of the huge problem in our country and why soo many kids are misinformed. Take control as a parent, don't leave it up to other people.

Old 01-10-2005, 06:58 PM   #5
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PlayBoiBunny05 HB User
Re: By What Age?

Thank You Guys!!!

Last edited by PlayBoiBunny05; 01-10-2005 at 06:58 PM.

Old 01-10-2005, 07:12 PM   #6
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Location: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma-USA
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Ksavage HB User
Re: By What Age?

I do not want to get too nosey, but is her Mother in the picture? If so, do you have a good relationship with her? If so, maybe the two of you can figure out what needs to be taught at this time. It is imortant that she not get mixed signals from 2 seperate households. (just a thought)

Has she been asking questions about sexual things yet? I have a 2 year old and I am already wondering when to start and what to start with. I have already taught her that she has a vagina. Her daddy gets upset with me when she points to it and I tell her what it is. I just think it is best to be honest. We do not make up funny little names for our ealbows or our why should we for a vagina or a penis?

I also have talked with her Child Developement Specialist and she said that she has had to appear in several court cases involving sexual abise in children. She said that she has seen many sex offenders walk away scott free because a child did not use the correct terminology for their sexual parts. The court sayd that when they say "HOO-HOO" (regarding their vagina) that they could be talking about anything and there is no way to be sure that they were really ever molested. So she said that it is very importnant that they know exactly what they have and what it is called.

I wish you luck in this journey!

Let us know what you decide.

......and that's all I have to say about that.......

Old 01-20-2005, 06:49 AM   #7
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Mica09 HB User
Re: By What Age?

A lot of parents think that when they have to talk about sex to their young children they need to talk about all the intercourse details. That is not necessary. Usually when we think about a sexual education at a very young age, it is mostly talking about the differences between girls and boys (man and women). Children will see their mother and fathers naked, or brother or sister etc. Will see mother breastfeeding etc. They will ask questions, what are those, what is this. They deserve a straight, honest answer with the right vocabulary. My boys saw me during my menses and though I was hurt. I explained to them that I wasn't hurt and why. It is such a gradual thing that you don't even notice that you are giving them a sexual education. I also bought age appropriate books about sex. The book on sexual education for children 3-6 was not about intercourse it was about the difference between little boys and girls (not only genitals).

I remember my neighbour telling me that her 4 year old had found a condom in her fathers drawer and when she asked her what it was, my neighbour answered "It is nothing for you to know". I told her that what she had just told her daughter was "In this house "sex" is a taboo subject. Do not come to me for answers because it is a subject that makes me feel very uncomfortable. Go somewhere else to find your answers. I added that she didn't have to go in all the "gory" details with her daughter. All she needed to say was "This prevents mommy and daddy from having another baby". Probably her daughter would have been sastified with that.

If you feel very uncomfortable talking about sex, or don't know how to go about it, use books, this will help a lot. They will get the right answers and you will teach them to come to you if they have a problem.

Old 01-25-2005, 07:47 PM   #8
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 440
camden HB User
Re: By What Age?

I agree that it depends on the child. I have always told my children the correct name for their body parts even though it meant an uncomforatable moment for my husband when my son stuck a broom stick between his legs in front of his (my son's) dad, granddad and g.granddad and said "look at my penis!" (Ha Ha Too cute for words!)

Although my 8 year old son has had problems with his foreskin he has never asked a question relating to sex. I have already, on the other hand, told my four (almost five) year old daughter when she asked me how she got in my tummy that a woman has eggs and a man has sperm and when the sperm "gets into the egg" it grows into a baby. I thank god she did not ask how daddy's sperm got into mommy's egg! She actually asked me how babies get out of their mommy's tummies when she was 2 or 3 and I told her straight up.

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