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  • 3 Year Old With Horrible Tantrums

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    Old 04-08-2005, 03:57 PM   #1
    thidagirl22
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    Exclamation 3 Year Old With Horrible Tantrums

    My little girl just turned three this month. I'm confused and worried. She has these awful tantrums everyday. She has these mad fits all the time. I;m beginning to wonder if there may be somthing wrong with her. If you don't let her have her way she just goes wild. She throws things,screams at the top of her lungs, kicks and hits the walls and even tries to hit me. I have tried every form of discipline that I can think of and nothing works. When I discipline her it just makes her even more angry. She has the fits more than she is good. She can be so sweet when we are at someone elses house. Everybody says she is such a little angel but they don't know what my husband and I go through every single day. It stresses me out so much, sometimes I just have to ignore her. I don't know if there is something wrong with her healthwise or if is just a normal stage. It looks like to me she has problems showing her emotions. Maybe I am wrong. I'm so confused. I also have a 4 year old son that never has done this. If anyone is going through the same thing or knows what I should do please let me know.

     
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    Old 04-08-2005, 10:19 PM   #2
    queenbluebee
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    Re: 3 Year Old With Horrible Tantrums

    What forms of discipline have you tried?

    Kids are smart. They know with whom they can throw tantrums with and get their way. Ignore it or them. Move them to the side.

    My nephew threw a tantrum at Target. My sister politely removed him from the buggy. Let him throw a tantrum on the floor in Target and walked over him and continued shopping. When he figure people were paying attention (besides her) to him he stopped.

    He was at my parents in threw a tantrum. My sister polite removed him from the living room and put him outside in the yard and told him he could have a tantrum in the yard because she didn't want grandma/grandpa things to get broken. She walked back into the house and continued chatting with us. We never mentioned it nor did she. After 3 minutes of crying outside and rolling in the grass. He came in the house and she asked him if he wanted a sandwich and he politely said yes.

    I was to dinner with her and my nephew at TGIF. He threw a tantrum at the table because he wanted chicken nuggets. He kicked the table. She picked him up took him to the ladies bathroom and put him on the floor and waited until he finished throwing a tantrum. They returned and he was a totally different kid.

    As for the hitting thing, she has a wooden spoon. She has explained to him I don't care if you throw tantrums that is your problem but you will not hit mommy. Her logic is if a kids is old enough to hit you then they are old enough to receive a swat on the butt back.

    Once I was playing with him and he bit me. My sister told me to bite him back. It teaches him that if he does something that there is a consequence in return...which is someone is likely to bite you back and it hurts. So don't do it. Of course, I was shocked. I bit him and he went crying. She didn't even baby him. She made him come apologize for biting me.

    Ok, he's 11. I think it is just a stage where kids test their parents to see how much they can get away with. If you continue to give in to her, she will continue this behavior.

    P.S. If her nerves were shot and her patience was thin, he got the belt and then had to take a nap. She'd shut the door.

     
    Old 04-08-2005, 10:21 PM   #3
    queenbluebee
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    Re: 3 Year Old With Horrible Tantrums

    These things happened when he was about 2 1/2 or 3. He's 11 now and he doesn't throw tantrums.

     
    Old 04-08-2005, 10:23 PM   #4
    queenbluebee
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    Re: 3 Year Old With Horrible Tantrums

    I think the key is...being calm and patient. Don't yell, don't scream, don't show that her tantrum is bothering you.

    A friend recommended taking away something she likes for ex...I'm taking away your teddy bear for the rest of the day because of your tantrum. You can have it back after we have a full day of no tantrums.

     
    Old 04-08-2005, 11:11 PM   #5
    dackard
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    Re: 3 Year Old With Horrible Tantrums

    Number 1 is to figure out whether her needs are being made. 3 year olds can be very social. Is she getting enough playtime? Regular trips to the park? Enough stimulation? Lots of crafts and toys at home?

    Ignore behavior that you don't like. Reward behavior that you do like. When she's throwing a fit, just leave her alone and go do some chores or something, there's really nothing you can do until they've calmed down. Probably her fits will decrease in severity the more you ignore them.

    My 3 year old daughter asks for something politely and my husband says no. Then my daughter throws fits and cries and my husband gives her what she wants. He's actually taught her that this is the way she gets things.

    With me, if I don't say 'no' alot, but if I do, I never change my mind. She sometimes has fits, but never to the extent with my husband. At any rate, I ignore her tantrums and remind her how to ask for things properly. Also I've found that re-direction works very well to diffuse a situation before the child gets extremely frustrated. Sometimes I really try to avoid saying 'no', it just makes a 3 year old child very frustrated. I say something like 'It's too late for t.v. right now because everyone's sleeping. Why don't we read a book?' Or 'I don't have any noodles right now, would you like perogies instead?'

    Last edited by dackard; 04-08-2005 at 11:13 PM.

     
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