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    Old 05-01-2005, 02:38 PM   #1
    annonymousely
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    Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    hi everyone, i was just wondering what time you thought would be reasonable for a 15yr old girl, who has never missed her 10pm curfew for weekends. she seems to think that i should let her out till 10:30 but i was just wondering what others thought. am i being too harsh or am i being reasonable at saying 10pm?

    Last edited by annonymousely; 05-01-2005 at 02:39 PM. Reason: typing errors!

     
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    Old 05-01-2005, 02:47 PM   #2
    mjbbtt
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    hi i am 25 and have 2 girls one 4 and one 6 so i am young enough to remember being 15 but mature enough to look at it in a mothers point of view first of all when i was 15 i had curfews like that 10pm on weekends and all my friends could stay out til at least midnight or later i hated i had to be home at 10 i felt like a loser and i will tell you what i started doing i started sneaking out of my house and staying out til 6am since my mom wouldn't let me stay out i just stopped asking for a later curfew and took it upon myself to do what i wanted while she was sleeping now being an adult i realize this was very dangerous anything could have happened to me and my mom wouldn't have known where i was but there just was no talking to my mom, being 15 is a big deal in your childs life her most important thing right now is fitting in and being accepted i say 10:30 is definetly reasonable IF she is a mature teenager you should encourage her to be honest with you so ya'll can work together to find a good time for you both and tell her if you do good at the 10:30 curfew and keep your grades up mabey in a couple of months we can have this discussion again. i know it is hard with your baby out at night but belive me you don't want her to have any reasons to start going behind your back. good luck!

     
    Old 05-01-2005, 06:06 PM   #3
    PatriciaB
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    I have a 15 year old daughter so I can easily understand your hesitation. My daughter doesn't really have a curfew, the reason being that what would a 15 year old need to be out late for! If she is just hanging out at a friends house, then it depends on who the friends are. If it is a close girl friend who happens to live nearby, I usually want her home by 11, if it's at a mix of friends, boys and girls, then I have already spoken to parents in the home to be sure that someone is with them but I will still pick her up by about 10.
    If she is going to something like a special occasion concert, or party, then I allow her to be out as late as reasonably late enough for concert to end and come straight home. This may be as late as midnight or so but again, these are special occasions.
    I consider my daughter to be a well behaved child, doesn't sass or talk back and does well in school. I think that if I had had any trouble with her then I would keep a much tighter grip on her. We have an understanding, and we discuss it repeatedly, that I will trust her until she gives me reason not to. I know that there are an awful lot of temptations out in the world for kids her age, opportunities for her to get in trouble and we discuss these issues constantly also. I like to keep reminding her that I'm aware that she may know people, even have friends that do drugs, engage in sexual activities that they are way too young for, and that just because they partake of those behaviors, I know that she is smart enough and strong enough not to.
    I think that the way you decide to go with your child should be based on your relationship with her, the level of trust between you as well as the history of her behavior. As long as she has proven to you in the past that she is trustworthy, there shouldn't be any reason that you couldn't be a little more lenient for special occasions.

     
    Old 05-01-2005, 07:46 PM   #4
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    10P.M. is good enough....
    She may be mad at you or use the exuse that her other girlfriends can stay out later - It's YOUR call - if you want your daughter home at 10PM then that should be you're rule. Again, if she agrues with you and mentiones her friends can stay out later - ask her WHO and talk to the parents....

    You will be amazed that MOST parents would not want their daughters out pass 10 PM.

    My 16 yr old son - who now drives and has his own car has a curfew of 12 AM
    he gets bad and gives me all kinds of crap - too bad - He has no business being out past Midnight and I don't care if HIS friends parents let their kids out till whenever - he's my kid and I want him home by MIDNIGHT. Period.

    I'm on the phone with him at 11:55PM making sure he's on his way home.
    If he breaks the rules - his car will be taken away.....

    Hope that helps.

     
    Old 05-01-2005, 08:13 PM   #5
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    I have to agree...what good can a teenager be up to passed 10am? Explain your reasoning to her. I never drank or had sex until twenty but I can tell you that when I was 12 some of my friends were smoking pot and having sex. This would usually take place right after school. If a teenager is going to get into trouble it doesn't really matter what time it is. It's the adults that are out praying on children that are out that late. If she is at a friends house, calling her parents would be a good idea. Alot of my friends parents looking back now were not real concerned about their children and what they were doing. I think I will have to meet my kids friends parents. You can not replace your children so you do what you think is best for them.

     
    Old 05-02-2005, 09:57 AM   #6
    annonymousely
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    Hi thanks for all your replys, if she is round a friends house then i dont mind her being back later but the thing is she is just hanging around the streets and goes out at 5pm . do you think that i am being reasonable by saying that if she doesnt go out till a bit later then she can stay out for a bit longer?

     
    Old 05-02-2005, 10:01 AM   #7
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    Wow. I must getting old. When I was 15, my weekday curfew was 9:00 PM (all homework had to be done before I did anything) and weekend curfew was midnight. My mom always told me I was a "Pumpkin" after 12:00!
    Of course that was a few years ago and times have changed since then.

     
    Old 05-02-2005, 12:19 PM   #8
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    I'm so sick of hearing 'times have changed.' We still need to be strict regardless and give guidance. Times have changed and it is more dangerous out on the streets. If you allow your child to be on the streets until that late at night, that's just crazy. If your child is at a party at a house where you know parents are home and you've met the parents, then 10:30 is a good time. I drop my 16 yo son off at a party and his friend's parents drive him home. So the curfew has to align with his friend's. 11pm.
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    Old 05-02-2005, 12:21 PM   #9
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    Ok, I may be ignorant but I didn't think 16 yo could drive by themselves, especially at night. Enlighten me as I have a soon-to-be-driving son!
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    Old 05-02-2005, 01:10 PM   #10
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    Hello again ..mousely! I just reread my message and realized that I didn't make myself very clear. On school nights, my daughter is home and in bed EVERY night, non-negotiable, by 9:30pm. Weekends are open to discussion depending on what it is she will be doing. The late curfews(12) are very rare, usually she's home by 10. And as I've told her several times, I don't care how late her friends get to stay out, I'm not raising those kids!

     
    Old 05-03-2005, 04:25 AM   #11
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sawbuck44
    Ok, I may be ignorant but I didn't think 16 yo could drive by themselves, especially at night. Enlighten me as I have a soon-to-be-driving son!
    Every State is different. The State I live in, kids get their permit at 15 1/2 and can drive with an Adult over the age of 25. AND their PERMIT it's just their Birth Cert to be carried in the car.

    Also, in my state that I live in a 16 year old can drive at night, curfew is Midnight for driving. BUT, As we all know - these kids can sneak out later if unsupervised by their parents. My son just told me - after he asked me not to be mad that he was at a girls house on Saturday night and left her house at 4:30AM. He was suspose to be sleeping at his dad's house for the weekend and DAD was sleeping and didn't know what time my son strolled in..ummmmm I couldn't get too mad at this situation because my son has been going through some tough times with a "love relationship" and needed a friend to talk to. I'm letting this slide (him leaving a girl's house at 4:30) because he did tell me, I have been concerned about him with this other relationship and I'm trying to help him w/his broken heart.

    But as far as the Post and having her 15 year old daughter hanging around just for hanging around on the streets pass 10PM, I'm sorry - I wouldn't allow that. I don't care what time my kid decides to leave the house - if 10PM is the curfew then that is THEIR problem for going out late.

     
    Old 05-03-2005, 12:10 PM   #12
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    Why does she have a curfew at all, she can't drive? I think 10 pm is ultra generous! When I was a senior in High School I had to be home at 11! And I was 18! Tell her she really shouldn't complain, or it can be made 9:30! Why does she need to hang out on the street. At a friends house, or driven by a parent to the movies, or walked around the mall, was all I did at 15, they don't need to much control cause they aren't mature enough to make some decisions, but this is my opinion! Goodluck to you. Man am I not looking forward to the teenage years.
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    Old 05-03-2005, 12:36 PM   #13
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    I just wanted to weigh in and say that 10pm for a 15 year old is very generous. At 15 (I'm 28 now) I wasn't allowed to date or even get into a car with a boy. I was allowed to go to the movies (where I was dropped off and picked up by a parent) or go to the mall for a while (same thing..taken to and collected by a parent). Sleep-overs were allowed as well. This rule just didn't apply to me..all of my close friends had the same curfew and rules. I never resented my parents for it..inside I realized that they were just looking out for me. A lot of other kids at school were allowed to run wild and I saw most of them get into a lot of trouble. Even at 18 and a senior in high school I was home by 11.30pm. It may sound strict but I plan to raise my kids the same way. Didn't hurt me at all.

     
    Old 05-04-2005, 05:40 AM   #14
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    A curfew of 10:00pm is not unresonable, I am now 38, I have a daughter that is 23 count it up, I was 15 when I had her! my parents did not have a curfew for me, and at times I wish they had, I also have a daughter 22,one 20, a son 12 and an adopted daughter 3 and a recent foster daughter 13. All my childern have had a very strict curfew, during school nights which is Sunday thru Thursday nights they go nowhere at all, on week ends until they are 18 they are to be in at 10 and that is once they are 16, before they are 16 they are only allowed to go out with family. They are allowed to go to sleep overs and have sleep overs or go to a friends house, parties etc,but I take them and pick them up and I must know the other parents.Even now I have a daughter that is 20 still living at home and she lives by a curfew on Friday nights she has to be home by 12:00 and on Saturday nights she has to be home by 11:00 and she is okay with this because she does not want to get grounded, yes she would get grounded(my husband is a mechanic he tell the kids he can break them as good as he can fix them and has lol ) for every minute they are late coming in for curfew they are grounded for 1 week unless they call me and tell me they are going to be late and why, this is because children will try to get away with what ever they can, no matter how well we raise them, they have peer pressure. I have told mine time and time again that their friends are not my children, I am not their mother, I don't care if they are staying out all night, your not going too. I have struggled raising my children with having them so young, I was a good child, i never backed talked, did what my parents asked my too, made good grades, had good friends, etc, so my parents trusted me! MOST Teenagers follow what most other teenagers are doing. So at 15 keep the curfew, keep one until she is out of highschool. This is just my experience not true for everyone, having a curfew for my children has worked and now that mine are in their 20's they have thanked me for it, because they have some friends that have had babies while they were still in school or ended up on drugs and acohol (peer perssure)!! my children are not perfect and they make mistakes and yes they have been late coming in from curfew but after being grounded for weeks at a time, they learned to be home before curfew.
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    Old 05-05-2005, 02:01 PM   #15
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    Re: Curfew for 15 yr old girl?

    I think it depends on what you feel comfortable with & how mature your daughter is & how trustworthy she is. If you feel that you can trust her & she is mature enough - then up it to 10:30 & see how it goes. If you don't then stick to the 10:00 curfew.

    I am only 22 & my daughter is only 3.5 - so I am not in your shoes yet, but I know I WILL be someday & I really think it will depend on a lot of things when that time comes for us. I am young enough to remember when I was 15. I never had a set curfew - it would just depend on what I was doing & I would tell my parents I will be back by this time. If they agreed that it was reasonable, ok... if they didn't think I was being reasonable they would say no, please be home by this time & I would agree. I personally liked it that way b/c what if my set curfew was 10:00 & I went to a concert that didn't even get out till 11:00 - that would suck. So we would just agree on a time for that particular event or whatever & that was that.

    Every child & parent is different - so you do what you feel is right! Good luck .

     
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