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  • Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

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    Old 07-11-2005, 10:01 AM   #1
    Sophiesmom
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    Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    Hiya

    I guess i'm not so much discussing if spanking as punishment is an apporopriate one, infact neither am i putting a case for or against anything here.
    with cutie dd sophie (4.5yrs), i find myself having to spank her (and yes its effective). when i spank, i mean around 5/6 slaps on her bare bottom.

    The other day I was talking to my best friend about everthing and we started talking about this and she said i should really spank on the bare butt.
    Believe me, when i spank, it is always done in privacy and with my bare hand.
    Humiliation is definately not part of my punishemnt, but as a last resort, this what she responds to.

    But sorry, back to question, do others also spank on the bare bottom?

    Thnx, keep replyin xxx
    Kathy

    Last edited by Sophiesmom; 07-11-2005 at 10:02 AM.

     
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    Old 07-11-2005, 03:12 PM   #2
    valleygurl
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    Kathy, You better believe that i spank the bare bum!!!!! I am very much old school when it comes to diciplining my children! I am a true believer of the
    " spare the rod and spoil the child ". I have had acquaintanences (sp?) stop by the house with their children who were acting like total animals while the whole time the parents are ASKING the children to please behave!!!!! These parents will ask the children over and over and over, then even be trying to make deals with rewards to the children if they behave! Of course while all this is going on the children arent letting up one bit!

    I'll tell ya, to sit and listen to that crap just totally disgusts me! It will escalate to a point that i finally tell them that they need to take their children and leave. I know that it makes them mad but i dont care. I have 5 children of my own and i dont tolerate them to act that way nor would i expect to take them to someone elses home and them to display bad behavior.

    I know that dicipline is very much so a controversial issue. This subject can turn very quickly into many heated conversations. I just know what has worked with my children, (boy 18, girl 18, girls 13 and 12, boy 9) I must say that my husband nor I have had to spank the children very often at all and my oldest boy has been quite a challenge to raise as he has ADHD. I just feel that you can give unconditional love, support, and even spoil the child without sparing the rod so to speak. If you teach your child/children from birth right from wrong and what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior
    a parent shouldnt have a problem raising well behaved, well manored children that will grow up to be respectful and productive adults.

    This is just my experience and my 2 cents worth!
    ValleyGurl

     
    Old 07-11-2005, 05:28 PM   #3
    chatty8484
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    I don't have to spank our 3.5 year old daughter....she got 1 when she was about 2-2.5 and never again....so far!! LOL
    But if I had to resort to it yes I would on the bare bottom
    Good luck!

    chatty

     
    Old 07-11-2005, 08:24 PM   #4
    rouge
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    Why the bare bum do they feel more pain that way? If humiliation is not the driving force is it hurting them that works?

     
    Old 07-12-2005, 07:35 AM   #5
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    NO! I never spanked that way!

    I'll admit that my kids occasionally got one swat on the rear end when I felt the need to really get their attention. Otherwise, time-outs or taking away their favorite toy worked. If we were out someplace fun (like a friend's house) having to sit by me for 5 minutes was punishment enough.

     
    Old 07-13-2005, 10:27 AM   #6
    worried_mommy
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    "Why the bare bum do they feel more pain that way? If humiliation is not the driving force is it hurting them that works?"

    That was my thought exactly.

     
    Old 07-13-2005, 11:56 PM   #7
    Natasha2316
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    I would say if spanking a couple times with clothes on helps and she stops acting out then stick with it, if for some reason it stops working, or heaven forbid that someday she turns around and laughs at you then go for bare butt, I am pregnant with my first and am already thinking of ways thay will be used to deal with my child when he/she becomes unruly, if for some reason a time out, or taking stuff away doesn't work I will use a hand slap for hitting/pinching. "taking their hands away" when they are naughty. (hold their hands for a minute. I have seen these ways work on a younger child 1 yr. She occasionally acts up again and is on a time out, she hates being on a time out more than anything ever. when the baby is older I will resort to spanking if necessary. I will not spare the rod and spoil the child. I plan to raise a very well behaved child and will do my best. There are always limits though. Keep that in mind of course lol. Good luck I hope you make a decision based on your feelings and not what everyone says they do or don't do.

     
    Old 07-14-2005, 01:44 PM   #8
    siren1024
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    My DS is 2 and very stubborn. He's taken to laughing at me when I spank him through the diaper, so yes, I spank his bare bum. I have a 3 lick maximum on the diaper, 2 licks on the bare bum.

    I too, am very much old school when it comes to discipline. I was spanked with a belt. (GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) And I thank my parents for it and don't resent them at all. Neither do I see myself as an abused child!

    So, in short, the answer to your question is, YES!
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    Old 07-14-2005, 02:28 PM   #9
    arock
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    yup, me too, but like one poster said, it's veeeeerrrrrrry rare. once every couple of years seems to do the trick! what i've found, with this punishment as well as others, is that it's not so much the punishment, necessarily, that's important, it's the follow-through.

    another favorite too, that works better on older kids, is the old nose-in-the-corner thing. (thanks dad!) one day my son, who was four at the time, was completely out of control and nothing was working. pleading, scolding, spanking, time outs, outside time, inside time, nothing was working! i called for my mother, got my father, and finally broke down and told him the sitch. he suggested the nose inthe corner and to my shock, it worked!

    spankings and nose-in-the-corner, my 'nuclear options'! or for you bushies, 'nucular option' *lol*

     
    Old 07-14-2005, 08:54 PM   #10
    siren1024
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by arock
    or for you bushies, 'nucular option' *lol*
    LOLOLOLOL. I love talking about all this disciplinary "strategery!" LOL. Bushie here!
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    Old 07-15-2005, 08:58 AM   #11
    danimal15
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    I've never spanked my two boys (ages 5 and 2) and don't plan to. The most I've ever done (on a handful of occasions) is given them a little whack on the behind to get their attention - in both cases when they were doing very dangerous things - like running into the street. I was spanked with my pants down and it was a humiliating experience. I would never do that to my kids.

     
    Old 07-16-2005, 06:15 AM   #12
    rouge
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    Siren you might want to look into age appropriate behavior for a 2 year old. ALL 2 year olds laugh at you when you get angry with them. You cannot take it personally. It is not a personal attack against you, and they are not being defiant. If you realize that it is normal for a 2 year old to laugh at these times you can disipline without throwing anger into the ordeal. It's really hard to disipline a 2 year old. Time outs just start to work at this age. With painful spanking your child will just behave out of fear. They will not learn to use their own inner controls. They will not learn how to tell right from wrong with out a physical punisher around. Sounds like this level of disipline is so ingrained in your thinking due to your upbringing. You are unable to step away and see alternative approaches to disipline. Consistancy and strict boundaries will work just as well as spanking on the bare bumm. I know many very well behaved children who where never spanked. Their parents did disipline but not with corporal punishment. They were actually very strict but no hitting.

     
    Old 07-16-2005, 10:00 AM   #13
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    I know my son. I know he knows his limits, I know he tests them, and I know that is age appropriate. All toddlers do this. However, toddlerhood is the age when children get out of control. If you don't reign them in now, it will get harder and harder, as the egocentricity which is toddler age-appropriate only grows.

    As far as my "Unwillingness to explore alternative discipline" what good has alternative discipline ever done to our culture and our children? Ever since corporal punishment became "unPC" the serious child abuse incidents and juvenile and adult crime has skyrocketed. If you don't believe me look it up. Or I'll gladly quote some statistics to you. Also, I have tried everything else. I don't like to spank my son. It hurts me too, and I never spank out of anger. I always issue 2 sound, controlled licks, then immediately reassure him, tell him I love him, and I don't like to have to punish him. (Oh yeah, punishment is a bad thing too nowdays, huh?) I have tried time outs. I practically have to SIT on him to get him to stay in one place. He's screaming and flailing, I'm wrestling him, growing angrier by them minute, but I know I can't let up because it will send the wrong message. This is the situation that could breed child abuse. How much better for my son and I that I use a method that gets the point across and leaves no serious injury to anyone? He understands.

    I know I am a poor, abused child who can't part with my upbringing at the hands of oh-so-cruel parents. It's a wonder that I turned out the way I did and not an ax murderer, right? And I am subjecting my son to such cruel, humiliting punishments as two licks on the butt?

    Oh, and as for "behaving out of fear..." if we only had more of that these days!!!! Fear is a healthy thing sometimes. Rational fear keeps us from doing things that will harm us. We have 2 generations of criminals running around because they have NO healthy fear (i.e. respect) of any kind of athority. I can guarantee you they didn't have any respect for their parents, so now they have no respect for others or the law.

    I'm a college educated well read woman. When I first had my son I read everything I could get my hands on about discipline and researched the matter to no end. And all this "positive parenting" BS hasn't helped our children one bit. I love my son and have dedicated my life to doing what is best for him in the long run. If a couple licks on the butt and 30 seconds of tears adds up to a life time of respect, understanding and (GASP AGAIN!!!) FEAR of consequences (remember, real life has plenty of them!) then so be it.

    I have a sobering job to do for him. And I take it seriously. Too seriously to let any "current thinking" from psycologists who don't know my son, act like all children are exactly alike, and don't give children enough credit for their behavior choices (good and bad), influence what I have found to work in MY home.
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    Old 07-17-2005, 12:57 PM   #14
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    I could never imagine raising my hand to anyone of my boys. I think they deserve the same respect as any one else. If I don't like something my boss,neighbors or friends do I don't hit them Why hit a child? Why bring a life into the world to hit? I'm so grateful to have each and everyone of my children in my life the thought oF anyone hitting or spanking them makes me sick. My boys are 28.25 and 7. So it's not my kids aren't old enough to have tested my parenting skills?

     
    Old 07-17-2005, 02:13 PM   #15
    siren1024
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    Re: Have you also spank on the 'bare bum'?.....

    Hitting or spanking???? I understood the difference when I was a child. My son is smart enough to understand too.

    By no means am I suggesting that every child needs to be spanked. I have a neice who desolves into tears when you speak to her sharply. She's never needed to be spanked. Sometimes my son doesn't listen (of course, I try verbally telling him to "stop" first) and continues to do what he wants. Then he gets time out. If he will sit in time out, that's the punishment I use. If he fights me and refuses to stay there, I spank him. I don't see that I have another option when he refuses to comply with non corporal forms of discipline. I can't give up and let him off the hook just because he's throwing a fit.

    I actually have to discipline him LESS since I started spanking. Of course, as always, spanking (or anytime of negative discipline) have to be offset with praise and rewards for good behavior. I always go by the rule that I need to give him positive reinforcement at least as much as I give him negative consequences, preferably more.

    So, I don't spank him every day. (I usually do end up putting him in time out everyday at least once!!!) But I don't spank indescriminately. But when he refuses to comply with time out, he gets a smack on the butt.

    He's happy, social, VERY independent, and attached to me and his daddy. He's a confident, well adjusted child.
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