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    Old 07-23-2005, 07:36 PM   #16
    Chellaine
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MIpigpen
    I'm not one to cause trouble....but what about talking to your neighborhood? If I lived next to you with my two little boys (4 and 1) I would want to know about this. Maybe they have children that also have fell victim to this freak. I know it's private, but you could just say there has been inapropriate behavior with small children and you are concerned. Not only could this warn the other families, but also help you fight back with the scum that targets you. Proof or not....this is nothing to give the benefit of the doubt on. I'm not saying picket their house, but better safe than sorry.

    Shame on those people. Hang in there. My heart breaks for you and your little boy. Perhaps a little break from the questioning would help him????? I'm no doctor, just a thought.

    Well, My little guy offered up some information this afternoon. It seems there is another 5 year old across the street that the boy has been sodomizing. The 2 boys had been made to watch each other and both had been threatened. The family of the boy is Mexican and doesn't speak English so I took my 16 yr old sons friend, who is also Mexican, to translate for me. He told them what had been happening to the little boy. I felt so bad having to deliver that kind of news to somebody, but it had to be done. So now we know this kid is a sexual predator. We also know he only likes little boys. My son said there wasn't anyone else, just him and the other little boy. These 2 little ones are the youngest ones around, so the other kids are safe. These 2 are the only ones he could threaten into shutting up.I feel horrible for the other little boy and his mother, she is about 8 months pregnant and really don't need this stress, but it just had to be done. This kid has to be stopped.
    He WILL be stopped!
    It's not that I continuously question my little guy, sometimes he just blurts things out. Sometimes, he repeats things over and over, then I question them, he has Tourette Syndrome.
    Anyway, we are on our way to stopping this sicko.
    Chellaine

    Last edited by Chellaine; 07-23-2005 at 07:40 PM.

     
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    Old 07-24-2005, 05:53 PM   #17
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    CHildern tend to act out in sexual ways if they are being melested. At a time I was one of those little childern. You should ask yourself if the 12 year-old is being molested.

     
    Old 07-24-2005, 09:37 PM   #18
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by nicolettie
    CHildern tend to act out in sexual ways if they are being melested. At a time I was one of those little childern. You should ask yourself if the 12 year-old is being molested.
    Not to sound to much like a b**ch, but I really don't care what has happened to that freaking sicko, all I care about is what he is doing to my little boy and the little boy across the street. Quite frankly, I can't wait for him to get locked up, then he will really get a taste of his own medicine. Does that sound cruel? I guess I AM being a bit vindictive, but wouldn't you be if it were your 5 year old little boy?

     
    Old 07-24-2005, 10:31 PM   #19
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    Exclamation Re: My little boy was molested....

    acting out in a sexual way is a way to deal. See once I stopped being melested i stopped acting out in sexual ways. Doesnt' a parent molesting their son sound a lot worse to you? Maybe you should try to find out because if im right and it's not stopped the 12 year old can grow up to be just like his parents. I am very sorry and sympathic and know what you are going through but i also know other things; as i was molested my my own father. Remember the 12-year old is still a child as well...it's his parent's you need to take action against. But im not saying this child should get away with what he did either. Good luck to you and your family.

     
    Old 07-24-2005, 10:35 PM   #20
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    My heart and prayers go out to you and your family....Sitting here and looking at my 6 year old son i would be furouis if anyone were to harm him...I could not imagine what your feeling or going through....
    Is there anything more the police can do besides waiting for your son to make a statment??

     
    Old 07-24-2005, 11:53 PM   #21
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by daystar91
    My heart and prayers go out to you and your family....Sitting here and looking at my 6 year old son i would be furouis if anyone were to harm him...I could not imagine what your feeling or going through....
    Is there anything more the police can do besides waiting for your son to make a statment??
    Unfortunately, no, there is nothing else they can do. They can not go by my word alone, they have to hear it from my son. Tomorrow morning, we have an appointment with the Forensic Nurse to have his rectum checked and photographed again, he had a rectal tear when I took him in last Friday night. Hopefully, the whole Child Advocacy team will be there because my son is ready to talk to the detectives. The sooner he talks to them, the sooner we get this sicko away from my house and away from other children.
    And Nicolettie, not to be rude in any way, shape or form but, it is not my job, nor do I care to find out what is happening in his life. Let someone else figure it out. I have enough to deal with trying to help my little boy deal with and heal from the damage that sick pervert did to him. Besides, I also was molested by my father. I feel very guilty because I came from that background and did not see the signs.
    Just because I fell victim to molest, as a child does not mean I grew up to molest, as I did not.
    Chellaine

    Last edited by Chellaine; 10-17-2005 at 10:17 PM.

     
    Old 07-25-2005, 01:36 AM   #22
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Neither did I grow up that way i just meant some do. and i did act out in sexual ways at first-well until the melestation stopped anyways. And that's ******** they won't do anything. I bet your really ticked off at the whole system. Cuz you know what?; I've been melested by many different people when i was younger and one of them my mom reported (i also had ADHD when i was younger) and It pisses me off to think about it now because they said they wouldn't do anything cuz when they talked to me i was trying to show of laughing about my cartoons (hell i was a kid) they also said that i told them that my story wasn't straight cuz i told them it took place in different places. years down the road they called my mother up cuz he was melesting other people; ask her to make a report. but she said no cuz they wouldn't help us so why should we help them kind of thing. People get away with this **** to often. So tell me even by what you said their not even gonna question the 12 year old boy or anything? So are you trying to get your son to talk to them. what do you say to him? You still have my thought and blessings with your family.

     
    Old 07-25-2005, 02:06 AM   #23
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by nicolettie
    Neither did I grow up that way i just meant some do. and i did act out in sexual ways at first-well until the melestation stopped anyways. And that's ******** they won't do anything. I bet your really ticked off at the whole system. Cuz you know what?; I've been melested by many different people when i was younger and one of them my mom reported (i also had ADHD when i was younger) and It pisses me off to think about it now because they said they wouldn't do anything cuz when they talked to me i was trying to show of laughing about my cartoons (hell i was a kid) they also said that i told them that my story wasn't straight cuz i told them it took place in different places. years down the road they called my mother up cuz he was melesting other people; ask her to make a report. but she said no cuz they wouldn't help us so why should we help them kind of thing. People get away with this **** to often. So tell me even by what you said their not even gonna question the 12 year old boy or anything? So are you trying to get your son to talk to them. what do you say to him? You still have my thought and blessings with your family.
    Hopefully tomorrow the detective will be there. My little guy made a great big promise to talk to him and tell him everything. He is so embarrassed though, and THAT breaks my heart. I tell him he shouldn't be emarrassed because he didn't do anything wrong, and I am so proud of him for being such a brave boy for telling me everything. He just lays his head, face down in my lap and cries, which makes me cry, but I never let him see me cry. After he talks to the detective, the police will pick the little pervert up, especially if the other little boys parents go make a report also, providing they get him to talking too. I am sure he is also petrified because the kid was threatening to kill the kids if they told. My son also told me yesterday the places that it happened, 3 places to be exact. 2 in the house and 1 in the garage, all within just fet of the adults in the house, but they never checked on them to see what they were doing, as long as they weren't bothering them while they were watching their tv programs, I suppose, or whatever. I feel so guilty for that too, I feel like I let him go straight into the lions den. Here I was, thinking there was plenty of adult supervision, beings that there was at least 3 or 4 adults in the house at any given time, but I guess I was wrong. They always sent the kids into another room to be rid of them. My little boy doesn't even kiss me goodbye or hug me anymore. He always says he is mad at me, but never says why, I know he blames me, hey, I blame me. He is not stupid, by far. He even started telling me he hated me, and not when he is having a temper tantrum, he just says it. I would never want me for a mother.
    Chellaine

     
    Old 07-25-2005, 02:53 PM   #24
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Dontblame yourself you thought their was going to be supervision. Hell I probably would have thought there would be too. You should be blaming the other parents. I think you are handling the situation well though; except for the blaming yourself part. Please give us all an update on your situation after your little boy talks with the police. Im sure all of us are wishing you get the justice you deserve. Good luck!

     
    Old 07-25-2005, 09:54 PM   #25
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by nicolettie
    Dontblame yourself you thought their was going to be supervision. Hell I probably would have thought there would be too. You should be blaming the other parents. I think you are handling the situation well though; except for the blaming yourself part. Please give us all an update on your situation after your little boy talks with the police. Im sure all of us are wishing you get the justice you deserve. Good luck!
    Well, We went to the appointment with the Forensic Nurse today and his rectum has healed fine. He handled the exam well, like a little man. I am so proud of him. I tell him alot how proud I am of him, how brave he is and how none of this is his fault.
    I talked to Child Advocacy this morning and they are supposed to be calling the detective handling our case to set a time to get my sons statement,then they can come and arrest the little sicko! I hope it is very soon. I don't know how much more he can handle of seeing that perverted sicko playing right in front of our house as happy as can be like he don't have a care in the world.
    I think my little guy is going into a depression, we already had a problem with him being a picky eater but now he just WON'T eat! He has ADHD and Impulse Control Disorder but now he is saying he is always tired, THAT is NOT my child! He's usually bouncing off the walls, driving me nuts with all his energy and here at first he wasn't sleeping, now that's about all he wants to do.
    That really pisses me off, there is no reason on this planet that ANYTHING should send a 5 year old baby into a deep depression, ESPECIALLY a sicko pervert. I feel like the only justice I want to see is a pervert nailed to my big tree in my front yard and the tree set on fire! OOPS! Did I say that out loud? Oh well. I will write more later, you know I will.
    Chellaine

    Last edited by Chellaine; 07-25-2005 at 09:59 PM.

     
    Old 07-26-2005, 12:28 AM   #26
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    i soooooooooooooooooooooo know how u feel!! and ur not alone!! my now 11 yr old sweet son was molested by his female, yes female!! babysitter when he was 4 and it broke my heart!! she performed oral sex on him and didnt get charged because they said my sons word would not stand up in court!! as well as having physical evidence and his admittance the police did nothing!! i am not sure which was worse! they tell these children to tell when this happens and when they do sometimes its a joke. i knew where she lived, still do and that kills me! it ticks me off that she got nothing and to hear poor her she prob was molested too!! who gives a crap?!?!?!? not mine or my sons fault if she was and it didnt give her an open ticket to do as she liked!! one would think that if she knows how it feels she wouldnt do it to others!!!i dreampt of the day i would run into her and i did 3 yrs ago!!! i lost it on her and made sure she was very embarrased in a public place. it made me feel a bit better but not much!! for a few yrs after it happened i cried alot when i thought about it now i just get angry. my son doesnt seem to have any longterm affects of this but i did!! i felt so guilty for so long and he is so cute and innocent and i felt i couldve have prevented it by not going out that day! nothing really takes that away. back to the police, i hate to say this but dont expect much!! they came right to our house and he told them everything they then gave her 3 months to come and make a statement!! blaming the fact she was never home when they called! if it had been my dh that did it to her he wouldve been arrested on the spot. besides they said even if she admitted it she would get therapy and thats it!! you almost want to take things into ur own hands but remember this, as little as this is, he is alive and it couldve been much worse, thats the only thing that kept me going.

    Last edited by hayley0610; 07-26-2005 at 12:34 AM.

     
    Old 07-26-2005, 12:55 AM   #27
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hayley0610
    i soooooooooooooooooooooo know how u feel!! and ur not alone!! my now 11 yr old sweet son was molested by his female, yes female!! babysitter when he was 4 and it broke my heart!! she performed oral sex on him and didnt get charged because they said my sons word would not stand up in court!! as well as having physical evidence and his admittance the police did nothing!! i am not sure which was worse! they tell these children to tell when this happens and when they do sometimes its a joke. i knew where she lived, still do and that kills me! it ticks me off that she got nothing and to hear poor her she prob was molested too!! who gives a crap?!?!?!? not mine or my sons fault if she was and it didnt give her an open ticket to do as she liked!! one would think that if she knows how it feels she wouldnt do it to others!!!i dreampt of the day i would run into her and i did 3 yrs ago!!! i lost it on her and made sure she was very embarrased in a public place. it made me feel a bit better but not much!! for a few yrs after it happened i cried alot when i thought about it now i just get angry. my son doesnt seem to have any longterm affects of this but i did!! i felt so guilty for so long and he is so cute and innocent and i felt i couldve have prevented it by not going out that day! nothing really takes that away. back to the police, i hate to say this but dont expect much!! they came right to our house and he told them everything they then gave her 3 months to come and make a statement!! blaming the fact she was never home when they called! if it had been my dh that did it to her he wouldve been arrested on the spot. besides they said even if she admitted it she would get therapy and thats it!! you almost want to take things into ur own hands but remember this, as little as this is, he is alive and it couldve been much worse, thats the only thing that kept me going.
    I am so sorry about your little boy. The police, in my case, WILL do something. I know this for a fact because in the state that I live in, sodomy is against the law and he sodomized my son and another 5 year old boy and possibly more, we don't know yet. In my state, a woman can have her husban sent to prison for sodomizing her, homosexuals get sent to prison if they get caught. He will get what is coming to him. We especially don't mess around when it comes to child molesters!
    I hope this doesn't have a terribly long term effect on my son, but it may, because it wasn't a 1 time deal, it has been going on for at least a year, maybe longer but I was just too retarded too see the signs. I think that is why my guy is so angry with me. He was too scared to tell me and he figures I should have known, and he is absolutely right, I should have known!
    I cry alot too about this, but I never let my son see me. I have to let him know I am the strong one and it's ok for him to cry, and sometimes he does. Of course, when he does, it makes me cry, but I just have to hold him so he can't see my face so he doesn't see me crying. I don't want him to know that I am so sad and heartbroken, that might make him feel guilty or something.
    Anyway, thanks for your reply and take care.
    Chellaine

     
    Old 07-26-2005, 01:43 AM   #28
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hayley0610
    i soooooooooooooooooooooo know how u feel!! and ur not alone!! my now 11 yr old sweet son was molested by his female, yes female!! babysitter when he was 4 and it broke my heart!!
    What has happened to your son has happened to me three decades earlier, hayley. I was slightly injured too. Law during that time in my country was not strong enough to punish her. Over an year or so, I learned to forget it and after 30 years only when soimeone discusses incidents like the assault that happened to me some faded memory of it returns..

    I pray and wish your son could forget it faster than I could..

    Law of USA seems to be more loose than the law of my place. Here assaults on children can be charged and proceeded if any of the following is present
    1. There is medical evidence
    2. There is a statement by the child
    3. There is circumstantial evidence or witnesses

     
    Old 07-26-2005, 10:50 AM   #29
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    My heart is breaking for your family right now. The turmoil your son must be going through inside, not to mention what you're also going through. Please get him into counselling as soon as possible, so he will learn to deal with what has happened. It wouldn't hurt for you to do the same, either. In the meantime, even though you may or may not feel it inside, please also tell your son that it wasn't his fault, and that nothing he did or said caused this to happen to him.

    I'm not a therapist, just a mom who is going thru a similar situation. I just wanted to give you a mental hug. Hang in there. I'll send lots of prayers your way.
    Sue

     
    Old 07-26-2005, 12:01 PM   #30
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    Re: My little boy was molested....

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by KIDINSANITY
    My heart is breaking for your family right now. The turmoil your son must be going through inside, not to mention what you're also going through. Please get him into counselling as soon as possible, so he will learn to deal with what has happened. It wouldn't hurt for you to do the same, either. In the meantime, even though you may or may not feel it inside, please also tell your son that it wasn't his fault, and that nothing he did or said caused this to happen to him.

    I'm not a therapist, just a mom who is going thru a similar situation. I just wanted to give you a mental hug. Hang in there. I'll send lots of prayers your way.
    Sue
    Sue,
    {{{{{{ }}}}}} Here's a hug back for you. My son has been in a behavioral class at a Phychiatric facility, outpatient, for 2 years because of his mental disabilities and his therapist that has been working with him 1 on 1 is the one I asked to continue working with him with this issue. He trusts her, he tells her things and he knows her. There is no way we could get anywhere with a new counselor right now. She has been working with him since the day I found out. I tell him all the time that it is not his fault, now he interrupts me in the middle and says that it is the other kids fault. I tell him he is absolutely right. There is nothing sexually enticing about a little child, a baby for goodness sakes. He did nothing to deserve this and I tell him that.
    Today, as we pulled up in front of our house in the van, that sicko was riding his bike in front of my house and stopped next to my van. We finally got out, with some coaxing, then the pervert asked my son if he could have a hug!!! My poor little guy ran in the house and went ballistic. He was VERY upset. He is EXTREMELY agitated now so now I have to give him his tranquilizer, thanks to that idiot. pretty bad when I have to drug my 5 year old to calm him down because this kid won't leave him alone. But there isn't anything I can do about it yet, the detectives still haven't gotten a statement from my son yet. I am getting ready to call them and see how soon they can do it, I am tired of the mental games this kid is playing with my little boy. I'm a little agitated too, can you tell?
    Chellaine

     
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