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  • 11 yr old and masturbation

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    Old 05-05-2006, 08:18 PM   #31
    hayley0610
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    oh yah ill give him ur message!! get real now.

     
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    Old 05-06-2006, 10:58 PM   #32
    Celia2
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    What on earth are you talking about with your term 'get real now'?

     
    Old 05-07-2006, 04:17 AM   #33
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    What she is saying is that you cannot say "stop doing that until you are 14..." I agree - "get real now..." Like passing along that message is going to change a behavior???? "ok mom, I will wait two more years...." You can't turn this thing off and on.

    I started masterbating at a young age too. It felt great and I kept doing it. I think my hormones were very different from most children. I enjoyed masterbation as a girl and would do it all the time - although I never had sex until I was 20 b/c I wanted it to be with the right person.

    There is nothing wrong or dirty about it. I find it is probably more acceptable for boys than girls, but only b/c girls don't talk about it as much.

    As for the original poster, I think your hubby is doing a good job of talking to your son about it. Thank goodness there is a father in the house! I agree with the other poster that mentioned teaching your son some responsibility about clean up, etc. Perhaps you can tell your son he has to put the towels in the washing machine - or telling him not to pee???? That is a tough one.

    As for the 18 year old - I am SURE he does masterbate - but keeps it very hidden from you. I would never want my mother to know I did that - and would take every step to hide it from her. Accept that he is doing it and there is nothing wrong with it.

    Boy, I am due to have a baby in 6 months. Sure hope it is a girl

     
    Old 05-18-2006, 08:28 AM   #34
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    I'm chiming in very late here, but I have to concur with those who agree your son's behavior is normal. Masturbation is both natural and healthy, especially for teens and pre-teens. At your son's age, they may still just be curious about their bodies and are experimenting, but honestly the sooner they figure out how to 'take care of business', the better. Some kids don't ever learn how to release that sexual tension, and when it gets built up, it drives them crazy because they don't know what to do. Trying to suppress your son's behavior or tell him he's doing something bad may do one of two things: Make him want to do it more (we all know how kids crave the forbidden), or make him develop a negative outlook on any kind of sexual activity, which could really put a damper on future relationships.

    There is, however, nothing wrong with teaching your son to be discreet. And it's great that your husband is talking to him about it - I think that's one of those things that requires a man-to-man talk because your son may be able to better relate to someone of the same gender.

    Don't worry so much - you aren't the first parent to discover proof of your child's sexual habits, nor will you be the last. Just don't dwell on it like it's the end of the world.

     
    Old 05-18-2006, 08:57 AM   #35
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    If you have an unhealthy attitude towards masterbation or sex, you will convey that message to him and he will think that sex is dirty, and he will need years of therapy.......is that what you really want?
    let him do what comes naturally......you can't stop biology!

     
    Old 05-18-2006, 10:57 PM   #36
    hayley0610
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    if u took the time to read all the posts here u would see im not condeming him or saying its wrong...i was asking about the urine question so pls read through before u ASSume.

     
    Old 05-30-2006, 01:28 PM   #37
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    I too, am joining this discussion very late. I have read through the entire post though. I actually found this post because I was searching for answers on how to handle this subject with my 11 year old that I recently discovered was masturbating. What can I say? I didn't do it that young but I am a school administrator and am somewhat educated on child psychology and physiology. All the literature and doctor's advise is pretty much the same- it's normal and the first time that young men do it varies because of the differing ages boys reach puberty. To think they won't do it is really being naive and to have an attitude that it is "disgusting" only sends a message to them that they are doing and feeling something wrong. Who knows what sort of damage that could do in the long run? The only thing I plan on doing is talking to my children about the differences between masturbation and sex and let them know that masturbation is normal and can be done discreetly. I feel this route is best as opposed to embarassing my son and making him feel "evil" and abnormal. It's not something I want to deal with but I certainly don't like to hear that people are disgusted by it. It actually saddens me because I can only imagine what sort of attitudes these peoples' children are developing about sex.

     
    Old 05-31-2006, 03:26 PM   #38
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    I know you're referring to me.

    I don't convey a bad attitude about sex or masturbation to my child. I keep quiet. He doesn't want to hear me talk about it.

     
    Old 05-31-2006, 08:22 PM   #39
    hayley0610
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    i dont think it was in ref. to what u said and think it was to anyone that said anything neg or ignorant.

     
    Old 05-31-2006, 09:43 PM   #40
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by hayley0610
    if u took the time to read all the posts here u would see im not condeming him or saying its wrong...i was asking about the urine question so pls read through before u ASSume.
    Make it easy... Tell him it seems that the cat has been "tinkling in the towels " that he left on the floor. and say you thought kitty was litter box trained... shrug your shoulders and leave the room. Unless he hates the cat, he probably would feel bad that the cat has been accused unjustly. He will recify the situation on his own. And by the way...why are there towels on the floor anyway?

     
    Old 06-04-2006, 04:07 PM   #41
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    hayley0610, there's nothing wrong with your son. I started masturbating at the exact same age, and I also peed when I reached orgasm (I couldn't help it). When I was 13 or 14, I started to ejaculate instead of pee, so I'm sure the same thing will happen with your son. I don't know if that's what you were worried about, but that's what'll happen.

    Don't simply tell him to not pee, because he can't just like you can't not ejaculate when you have an orgasm. I think your husband should tell him to masturbate into the toilet so he doesn't make a mess and stain anymore towels.

     
    Old 06-10-2006, 08:39 PM   #42
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    Coming from a family who for generations has started puberty between the ages of 6-8 years old for genetic reasons I can chime in a little bit. First its 100% normal and you should never make your child feel ashamed for it. Also I started to ejaculate when I was 7 years old and it was always a good stress reliever for me and it felt good. I'm mainly posting this because my newphew how is going through extreme amounts of stress and PTSD has been masturbating mutiple times each day. Trust me I see the stains on his PJs, sheets and socks but of course I'm not going to say anything as he is dealing with enough problems as it is so anything that makes him feel happy even if for just five minutes "and" reduces stress isn't a bad thing. In a few months I will talk with him about hiding the evidence a little better but for now that is one issue he doesn't need to worry about now.

     
    Old 06-24-2006, 09:24 PM   #43
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    My thoughts - Self-exploration is normal but there comes a time when self-control and self-discipline is needed. When does "if it feels good, do it" and "if it's natural, it's ok" become addicitive behaviors - what's the line? Children are capable of becoming addicted to self-satisfying behavior - whether it's physical (masturbation, etc) or visual (pornography, videogames) or emotional (pacifiers, blankies, etc.) Some addictions are easily ignored while others can become problematic. Talk to 3 different Pediatricians to get different ideas and think about it and decide what you agree with. Then talk to your husband about it and your older son. It's your job as a parent to set limits. I have two boys and a daughter. I expect my son to do some self-exploration (I did when I was about 11/12 years old). But if it begins getting in the way of his regular interests, then that will be a "red flag". Also, you and your husband may want to discuss the whole topic of sex, again. What is it for? In today's society, it seems that everyone is doing "it" with whomever not thinking about how special it can be. This crosses over into a whole other area of "sacredness". Treating your body with respect and "there's a time and a place for everything".

     
    Old 07-06-2006, 03:36 PM   #44
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    Re: 11 yr old and masturbation

    not a big deal you all . its a part of growing up

     
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