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What do you do with others kids at your house?!

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Old 01-18-2006, 06:52 PM   #1
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What do you do with others kids at your house?!

Yesterday was my DD second B-day party. It went great, she had a blast, everyone was happy, except for 1 thing, my Hubby's bosses 6yo son. He was driving everyone NUTS! This child was running rammpid, running, screaming, getting into all kinds of strange things. He followed my DH outside, even after he had told him not to, to the barbeque and was trying to play with the BBq lighter, when DH took it away from him, the child picked up a hatchet and tried chopping wood. Then he actually YELLED at my DH when he took it away from him! THEN went and grabbed another one! This boy ran right square into a lady with a broken arm and didn't even give her a second glance let alone an apollogy. My Lil one was sitting on the couch leaning to get something she dropped and she was about to fall, so I reached to stop her, I was hanging on to one of my friends 11 month old sons also and this boy ran and jumped onto my back! It took everything I had not to drop the two little ones! I grabbed the boy and made him sit on the couch and said "You better calm down!" very sternly. He LAUGHED at me and ran over to his mother, who said NOTHING! He was ripping toys from the younger kids, and actually took presents out of my DD hands while she was opening them! Then started opening some all on his own. He stepped on and tripped over the 11 month old twins repetedly without ever even stopping to see if they were ok.

When I asked him if he wanted a drink of juice, milk or water he said "Pop". I told him we didn't have any pop, because this was a little kids party and pop is not good for little kids. He said "Well that's what I want." I just said "tough" and walked away. I was getting so frustrated with this boy and his Mother was doing nothing more then "Honey, don't do that please." That he didn't even acknowledge.

All night he was being rude to other guests, pushing people out of his way, digging though my purse, running around to all the rooms in the house and digging threw them. I was going nuts! What can you do when you have other peoples children in your house and they are not disaplining them? I love this woman to death, she's a sweety, but my ****, I never want her son in my house again! What can you say to people who allow their children to act like that in another persons home? I do not condone child abuse in and way shape or form, but had that been my Daughter acting like that she would have gotten a good crack upside the head! Even at TWO she can still say please, thank you and sorry, 3 words I didn't hear from him all night!

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Old 01-18-2006, 07:52 PM   #2
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Re: What do you do with others kids at your house?!

Wow, that definitely ranks on my list of Top Ten Most Annoying Children. I'm sorry you had to be put through such hell on your daughter's special day.

Worried Mommy, you aren't the one who needs to be responsible for the disciplining of someone else's child. Judging from the way the mother didn't even try to scold her son for being a pain in the butt, she sounds like a real Moo. If you were to confront her about her son's behavior, she most likely would say that her son didn't misbehave, or say anything else that denies the fact that her son was a total nuisance at the party. I've met mothers like her - they think their kids are perfect in every way and deny any possibility of their child acting up. The woman could witness her child bury a hatchet in another child's head and she would still say her son is a sweet harmless little angel.

You really should speak to her about this - if you don't want her son to be in your house again, she would not be able to bring him over again. If she did she would not only be being ruse, but she would also be trespassing. The only reason I hesitate to suggest talking to this woman is because of the connections you have - your husband's boss' wife. I would only worry that taking the chance of making any waves with his wife might come back and bite your husband in the backside. I don't want to tell you to definitely confront the mother because I wouldn't want there to be any risks of jeopardixing your husband's career.

Unless you know this would not endanger your husband's job, tread carefully if you decide to speak to this woman about her son's behavior.

I also do not condone child abuse, but man I would not have hesitated to beat that child's behind until it glowed in the dark, despite what the parents said. Someone needs to discipline that sprog if the parents won't.

Old 01-19-2006, 07:50 AM   #3
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Re: What do you do with others kids at your house?!

I had a kid just like this at my house yesterday. I have only met him one other time about 6 weeks ago. I don't know what happened in those six weeks, but yesterday he was out of control. He's 3, but even at three you know right from wrong. Climbing up bookshelves and knocking everything off (yes, everything) Back talking, pushing, yelling, breaking things, etc.

I choose my battles. The little things I let go. But the bigger stuff I say something or I tell the parents to say something. One thing I did was make him clean up all messes. He knocked everything off the shelf...I made him clean it all up (the adults helped) But he didn't want to. I litterally closed the bedroom door and sat in front of it so that he couldn't leave. And I stayed that way until the room was clean. His mom was cool with it. Later he was eating a grape, decided he didn't like it, spit it on the couch and wiped his mouth on the couch. I went to the kitchen, got a damp rag. Told him he needed to come help me, and I made him wipe off the couch. He didn't do a great job, but the point was that I made him take responsibility for his actions. His mom actually said that was a great idea and would have just cleaned it herself. (That's how these problems start)

But by the end of the day I questioned if this little boy could come back to my house for a while.

So, with poorly behaved kids I say, avoid having them over when you can. If they do come over and they are causing problems, I have no problem telling the kids what to do. If it gets really bad, say something to the parents. Like, "your son is upsetting the other kids. Please make him stop." Then if the parents don't do anything, you do it. Usually when another parent sees you disciplining their kid, they will step in and take control.
"Go slowly, breathe and smile" Thich Nhat Hanh

Old 01-20-2006, 09:00 AM   #4
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Re: What do you do with others kids at your house?!

That sounds just like my little boy! Except Im a mean mommy. well...kinda
Anyway. If that were me I would stop him dead in his tracks and look him in the eye and say "This is my house and when you are here you have to follow my rules." In my house you may not scream lke that." and so on.
The problem with kids like that is if he doesnt have the disipline from his parents then he probably wont listen to you.
married 6/26/04
DD born 5/25/05

Old 01-29-2006, 12:29 AM   #5
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Re: What do you do with others kids at your house?!

I wanted to add to this conversation, but kind of from the other side of the fence.
I have 2 daughters and when my oldest was about 2-3 years old she was just wild. A wild child! There was seriously NOTHING and I mean nothing I could do to stop her.
Talking to her, punishments, taking things away, etc. didn't work. I also don't condone child abuse but, trust me..she had her bottom red quite the few times.
But, she was just too hard-headed and stubborn. Nothing seemed to reach her.
One time a friend of mine invited me over to her house when my daughter was in this stage. Foolishly, I accepted the invitation trying to convince myself that she had kids the same age as she would understand.
Since I knew my daughter well, everything material I held precious I kept locked up and away. The same applied for all potential dangerous things at our house.
So, when my daughter got to my friend's house it was like a field day for her! She was racing up and down the halls screaming and yelling, trying to take out all the movies on the shelves, trying to play with the Antique African decorations, etc.
But, unlike the mom in your situation, I was running here and there after her and trying to prevent her from doing such things.
All my friend said to me was " do you remain so calm?" This was while her kids were just sitting on the floor quiet as mice. Needless to say...I was extremely embarrassed.
A few days later I was surfing a forum where my friend and I had met. I was so shocked and hurt when I read a post that she had posted about my daughter!
She basically wrote that one of her sons was acting up due to picking up the behavior from my daughter. And she didn't know how to handle it.
I wrote her a message soon after that I had read her post and I was sorry for causing her any trouble. I simply put that maybe her and I had different parenting techniques.
Her reply was that she would never tolerate such behavior from her children and continued on to give a lengthy account of how she handles disciplining.
When I read it, I felt like she was talking about a dog instead of a child.
I kindly suggested that maybe it was better if we just decided to go our seperate ways.
Fast forward a few daughter is now 5 years old. And no exaggerating, I always receive such lovely compliments about her. Everyone says she is such a delightful and polite child. She is extremely intelligent, caring, responsible, tidy, and never forgets to say her pleases and thank yous. She is no longer the wild child I once knew. She grew out of that and it is long forgotten.
As for my friend's now 6 year old son, the one who sat there as well behaved as a church mouse? He recently brought a knife to Kindergarten (yes, I said Kindergarten) and threatened a boy's life and tried to stab him. It is sad..very sad.
Anyways, I guess the whole point to my story is that bad apples can turn into good ones and good ones can turn into bad ones.

Old 02-04-2006, 06:43 AM   #6
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Re: What do you do with others kids at your house?!

I really didn't expect this little boy, or any kid there to sit quietly with their hands folded or anything. It's a party, they should be allowed to get a little roudy. But this boy was downright rude. My biggest problem was that his Mother did NOTHING to control him.

She mentioned something about us getting together because the kids really seemed to get along (HUH?). I don't like lying, but I said something about being busy this weekend and to call me sometime this comming week. I don't know what to do, I mean you'd think it can't be that bad right, but the little boy is just crazy, I don't want my DD picking up this behavior.

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