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What do you do for time outs?

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Old 02-15-2006, 10:15 AM   #1
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What do you do for time outs?

I have a 16 month old who is starting to develop a bit of an attitude. We went to a parenting class and the instructor said to say, "uh-oh, looks like a little bedroom time!" whenever she starts doing something I don't like. I've been putting her in her crib until she calms down (as per instruction of teacher) but a friend said it could make her freak out at bedtime. Well, if I put her in her room, she'll probably just play which is kind of against the whole concept of time out and I don't want her destroying her room. SO, do I continue the crib thing until I see an adverse reaction or do I try something else? What do you all do??

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Old 02-15-2006, 10:40 AM   #2
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Re: What do you do for time outs?

I had a special place, with a little chair that I would put my son in for timeouts. It was where I could see him and it worked well. He was to sit there for 4 minutes (which is an eternety for a little one). Once he was bigger, I would have him put his nose on the wall, and I mean his nose was to touch the wall at all times during. Both of these worked very well. I never put him in his room. I think it has to be a place that is neutral.
Hope that gives you some ideas.

Old 02-15-2006, 11:44 AM   #3
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Re: What do you do for time outs?

We have a black chair in our kitchen. When our 3yr old son has done something that is worth a time out, we send him in there and make him face the corner. There isn't anything there to occupy his mind and he is force to think. He usually cries, in which we tell him that his time on the chair will be shorten when he stops crying and thinks about what he has done. We usually wait five minutes, then one of us will go in and question him on what he has done to make him realize that it was wrong to do it, then we let him talk and we tell him that we love him but expect an apology, if he apologizes he can get off the chair.

Usually we have a four step system, if he is doing something wrong we tell him to stop. If he doesn't stop he isn't allowed certain things, such as no TV for the rest of the day, or isn't allowed to go or play somewhere. Next he is told he will go on a time-out, if he goes on a time-out but continues to repeat what he was doing, then we make him go to bed and take a nap.

I'm not saying this works for every child, my best friend's four yr old daughter doesn't respond to any of the punishments such as time-outs etc. It all depends on the child.

Old 02-15-2006, 01:33 PM   #4
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Re: What do you do for time outs?

Crib is a bad idea -- DS went thru a stage where he refused to sleep in his room and it was around the time he'd really been acting up and I put him in his crib so I could get some peace. He spent well over a week sleeping between me and DH! To get him used to being in his crib again I had to convince him to play in there and make it FUN time!

His time outs at home are standing with his nose in the corner and we tell him exactly why he's standing in the corner "you kicked mommy and you were naughty" -- and he usually tells us he's sorry and we let him go. We use the word naughty to describe his behavior. Had a problem on vacation last week, I couldn't find a corner for him at an outdoor wedding so I stood him up against a retaining wall-- he started LICKING the wall.

At school/daycare they have a chair or they make them sit by themselves.

Old 02-15-2006, 03:23 PM   #5
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Re: What do you do for time outs?

At 16 months they really just get super frustrated that they can't do everything they want to do. They just don't get that it is dangerous. They are also starting to test us. I never used time-outs. I don't think they are very useful at that age. I feel by the time you punish them for what they have done (not listening, touching something that in unsafe) they really don't remember what they were doing exackly. I know you want to show them that when you say no you mean no. I just think they are still young enough to distract and be taken away from something. They don't seem like they are distractedable, and boy do they throw a fit when you stop them, but it's just their way of communicating that they are unhappy with this restraint. They will get it eventually. My son is 2.5 and I have only given him 1 time out and that was for kicking me in the head after I said no it hurts. He was laughing about it and I was having a bad day. He was over 2 though and more able to understand the reprocussions of his actions. I just think I will reserve time-outs for very serious offenses. He has never kicked me again and is actually very sweet boy I think that he was just testing the waters that day after things got a little to rambunctious (sp?)

That being said I think time outs should be out of the bedroom and in a special area like a chair that is usually put away and brought out for this reason. My son will be entering into the terrible 3's soon enough and I think time outs will be more effective for that age.

Old 02-16-2006, 06:31 AM   #6
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Re: What do you do for time outs?

For me sending DS (almost 3 ) to his room has always worked and I've had no negative reactions to the crib becasue of it. But that's what works for us. I put him in his crib when he was younger because it was a safe place for him to be if he threw a total tantrum and he couldn't get out. Keep in mind that he was only in there for about 2 minutes. Now at almost 3 years of age I still send him to his room though he doesn't go into the crib. He knows that being told to go to his room means big trouble and I know by his reaction that he understands. Timeouts work great for us. I have never needed to take a toy or privilage away, just a simple time out is enough for him. I must be lucky.
"Go slowly, breathe and smile" Thich Nhat Hanh

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