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I Think I have Lost Control Of My Kids

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Old 02-15-2006, 11:26 PM   #1
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: vancouver, BC
Posts: 8
jordan1980 HB User
Question I Think I have Lost Control Of My Kids

Hi all, I have been here awhile lurking but I have never posted. But I am at my wits end here and I need some advice. I have always thought if myself as a good parent...until recently. I have Two sons ages 4 and 2 1/2, and the past six months with them has been really hard. It just seems like it's one thing after another with them. In the past 3 months my youngest son has been to the hospital for getting oven cleaner on his skin (he used a chair to get up onto the counter to grab it as I took a bathroom break,) he shaved a line down the middle of his hair with his father's hair clippers and now he has turned to spitting and growling when he dosen't get his own way!! He also has been refusing to sleep at night, take tonight for example I put him in his bed at 8pm, it is now 11 and he just feel asleep. Don't get me wrong I disipline my kids but it just seems like nothing works with this child. I just need some advice.....anything would help.


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Old 02-16-2006, 06:54 AM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 1,401
Kiera1595 HB User
Re: I Think I have Lost Control Of My Kids

First I think that you might need to do a tougher job at protecting the 2 year old from himself. Child locks on all cupboards and drawers, or had he figured them out?

As far as behavior problems, you know that you have to nip it in the bud. Be consistant. Everytime he spits or acts out you punish him. Time outs, taking toys away, etc. But decide exactly what that punishment is and stick to it. Don't have it be a timeout sometimes and a spanking other times and other times you ignore it. Same thing every time is how he will learn. Always explain what he did and why he is getting punished. Then always make him say he's sorry when it is over.

Same thing with bedtime. Once he goes into his room and bed/crib, that's it for the night. If he is able to get up and out, then you have to march him back to his room everytime. Just say, "it's time for bed" and put him back. No yelling, no explaining, just back to bed. If he screams, he screams. You stay calm. He's old enough to know what to do and not to do. He is acting up to get attention and it's working. If he doesn't get out of bed, but just doesn't sleep, leave him be. Of course if he's in distress you can go in and calm him down verbally and tell him to go to sleep. But if he doesn't stay in that room in that bed he won't learn that's where he needs to be. It will probably take a few long nights, but he'll get it. You have to teach him that when he is a good boy he gets that attention in a positive form and that's much better than the negative form.

All that said, remember to pick your battles. Let the little stuff go if it's no big deal. And make sure that they are both getting enough positive attention and reward.

Good luck. Sorry about the haircut. You know you'll look back and laugh at that one, I hope you got a picture. This is a tricky age...but after reading these boards, it seems that they all are.
"Go slowly, breathe and smile" Thich Nhat Hanh

Old 02-16-2006, 07:13 AM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 395
danimal15 HB User
Re: I Think I have Lost Control Of My Kids

I'm sorry you're having so much trouble. Those are tough ages, with such a small difference in age, too. You didn't mention your spouse. Are they around to help? Maybe you need to split responsibilities a bit more, and give yourself a break once in a while. I know sometimes my wife and I reach a point where we feel like you do with our two boys (ages 6 and 2 1/2), and the best thing to do is have one of the adults take some time away. This happened last night. I came home, and I could tell my wife had just had it with the kids, so I took them to dinner at a local hot dog place they like and let my wife stay home and order in. When we came back an hour later, she was relaxed and happy to see the kids again. Raising kids is definitely a two-person job, so hopefully you have a spouse/partner who can help. Good luck.

Old 02-16-2006, 09:01 AM   #4
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: vancouver, BC
Posts: 8
jordan1980 HB User
Re: I Think I have Lost Control Of My Kids

Hi again,

Thanks for the posts guys. To the first poster; I think definetly you are right and I have to put child locks on everything....I was just thinking that I was past all that, but as the current events are showing I guess I am not
Yes I did get a couple of pictures and I already can laugh about the hair-cut was extreamly funny looking!!!!! Although I am guilty of being a parent that lets their kids get away with a little too much....but I am addressing that now, I know that I have to be consistant. As for the bed time though I am consistant, but it takes us like 3 hours to get him to stay in the room. I am just very tired.
To the second poster....yes thank goodness I am married...I really couldn't do this alone.

Thanks alot for reading and responding

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