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daystar91 03-11-2006 07:05 PM

Teenage son failing in school for not doing homework PLEASE HELP
Last year i asked about some advice about my son (now 14)not doing his homework..Now things have gotten bad to worse..I'm at my witts end with him..I don't know what to do with him any more..I just recieved my son's mid reports, i wanted to cry..60% all the way down to 39%..On any test or anything he does in school is 100%..When it comes to assignments he has to do as a homework or study hall a big F, which all adds together a horrible grade..This kid was a straight A student about two years ago, in advance classes kicked out for not doing homework..Even when he does his homework he doesn't bring it to class, he's not prepared for class half the time..He has become so lazy in school work..
He has put his social life ahead of his education..He is a very popular kid and i've try to explain to him popularity wont get him a job..He's outgoing and has a great personality..Always going out with friends to movies or to friends to get together with suppervision of course..Over all he is a great kid..He's very much into sports..He plays basketball for two years, football for four,soccer for three, and wreslting..Next year he will going into grade nine and really looking forward to JV football and wrestling he was undeafeted this year..The highschool coach has already came over to talk to him about football and wrestling for JV..The coach already has him light weight lifting to get him ready for next year, this was only offered to three kids in grade eight..He's so excited about it but if his grades aren't up he will not be able to play..I've also try to explain this to him as well..I though maybe that would give him a little push to do his homework..I do think the sports are a positve thing and i thought it would make him work harder..
These sports are all at different times of the year and i always make sure it doesn't affect his schooling..If i find out his homework isn't done he doesn't go..And boy he throws a fit like a spoiled little baby..
As of right now again grounded from the outside world..Other than school and basketball, that's it..The only kind of electronic thing that he can use is the t.v down stairs with everyone else..This means no video games, no t.v upstairs, no computer(unless for school only)..What else can i do..I'm in touch with the teachers almost every other day..Two of his teachers have been keeping him after school just to get him to do his work that he didn't do..Everyday we go through the his homework he only shows us what he wants us to see..It's hard for us to know what really needs to be done..I've even threaten to go to school with him..Wouldn't that just kill his social life..LOL..My husband has threaten to cut his hair short if he gets another report like that again(my son has the long hair like kids now days have)..I think that's harsh..But at the same time i've grounded him so many times it's just not working..Any idea's please..This kid is a good kid..He has the hope of some day going to Ohio state or Penn state, i so want him to fulfill his dream and get the education, even if i have to push him all the way..Please help me.....

angelique5 03-12-2006 10:35 PM

Re: Teenage son failing in school for not doing homework PLEASE HELP
i also have a 14 yr old, who for the first time in his life, came home with F's on his report card...and FOUR of them at that. I IMMEDIATELY called for a parent teacher confrence with all of the teachers involved, and just sat down with them and said, "what do you need me to do??" My son's reason was like yours... when he does turn in work, it's A's and B's...but he wasn't turning in enough work!!!

I'd say it's time to hold his hand like a baby. That alone may get him to shape up, cause he'll want mom and dad off his back. I'm doing DAILY contracts with my sons teachers, each day, they sign off if he behaved in class, and if he did all his assignments, etc....and he has to fill in what's for homework that night, and the teachers initial it to ensure he wrote it all down. I sign them nightly for the teachers, or he gets detention. This way, I know exactly what's due, and when I check homework, he can't try to dupe me, etc.

it's really worked for my son... he's shaping up quickly... I just hope he sticks with it and hasn't jeapordized his graduation!

good luck with your boy!

Kiera1595 03-13-2006 08:07 AM

Re: Teenage son failing in school for not doing homework PLEASE HELP
I was in your son's shoes many years ago. Great on tests, smart kid, but didn't like to do homework or show up to class.

My folks did what Angelique did. Everyday I had to have every single teacher write down what my home work was and what grade I was getting for the day, week, class. Then they signed it. I brought it home and my parents read it, signed it, made sure I did the work, checked it, and made sure it went into my bag. It totally sucked!!! I was so embarassed, but it also TOTALLY WORKED. The grades went right back up and I graduated with a very good GPA.

He's too young to govern himself as far as dicipline and his school work goes. And If he acts like a child when it comes to responsibility, then you need to treat him like a child. He'll also get a total reality check when he is suddenly unable to play sports because he isn't making the grade.

daystar91 03-13-2006 09:36 AM

Re: Teenage son failing in school for not doing homework PLEASE HELP
Thanks for your replies..I have put in a call for his teachers..I'm hoping this will help..I'm so upset about this..You think that grounding would work but l've notice lately that it doesn't have any effect on the kids now days.When i was younger i hated to be grounded..
I had another talk with my son last night and explain to my son that homework takes so little of his time..If he would just do it and hand it in on time, this would be all done and over with..Instead it's carrying through out the year just so he can catch up so he can pass, if he passes..I'm so stressed over this..Thanks again..

Deena_05 03-13-2006 02:05 PM

Re: Teenage son failing in school for not doing homework PLEASE HELP
Your son may be in eighth grade, and maybe it's different where you live, but where I do, if you fail, or even get a D in a class, you're not allowed to play any kind of sports for a school team.

Kids get like that though, and it's probably just lack of motivation or his teachers not being strict enough. I think you should give him a set time to do his homework each day. One of my parents used to sit down at the table with my brother and I at exactly 4:00 PM, no if's and's or but's about it, helped us when we needed it, and we could not be excused until every question on every assignment was completed properly. This was when I was in elementary school, but I still did my work everyday at a set time in high school...which was 7:00 since I was working.

I hope that helps a little?!

daystar91 03-13-2006 02:22 PM

Re: Teenage son failing in school for not doing homework PLEASE HELP
If your failing our school does not allow you to play for the school teams..Right now he is playing basketball for the YMCA..My son has no motivation he has turn out to be so lazy these last two years..We have a rule in our house there is no play until school work is done well if you don't know what needs to be done and he shows you bogus work so he can run off with his friends it leaves you in the dark..I haven't heard a thing back from three teachers..I've heard from two, they have said that they have to many kids to keep up with just signing off on work for one kid but they are willing to keep him after school everyday with other children to make sure work gets done along with assigments that weren't done in the past..

GatsbyLuvr1920 03-13-2006 04:45 PM

Re: Teenage son failing in school for not doing homework PLEASE HELP
Obviously, your son needs to do his homework, but I can't believe that he's getting 39 percents when he does so well on tests! Homework is important, and your son needs to realize that he has to apply himself outside of exams, but, I'm sorry- tests should be the majority of the grade! I have a feeling it's because he's in middle school. Those grades seem to think that homework is of the utmost importance, but it's kind of dumb when you think about it, considering that, when you take AP classes or are in college, all that the class is based on is tests, and there's hardly any assignments at all. If I were in your position, I, too, would be upset that my son wasn't doing his homework, but I still can't believe that he's [I]failing[/I]. A "C", maybe, but an "F"? That just isn't fair when he's excelling on the exams, which is what really matters. Again, if he got a "C" or something less drastic, then I would say merely talk to him and say that he could be getting much better grades just by doing the assignments, no matter how pointless they may seem, which is probably the reason he doesn't feel it's essential to complete the assignment in the first place. I've always been a "goody-goody" when it comes to homework, so I can't say for sure if this is the reason, but I have a strong suspicion that it probably is. Since your son is getting "A's" on the tests, he clearly knows the material, and probably thinks it's stupid to do the typical middle school assignments of writing answers to questions. He knows the answers and probably thinks that it's a waste of time to expend energy writing down something he already knows. Again, I blame the structure of middle school. I remember all too well how much importance was placed on homework- this is the time when the teachers give out those planners to write down every assignment in. It may be a good idea for some who truly would forget, but I think that some probably rebel against homework because those planners and constant reminders about "responsibility" make some responsible kids get fed up by this juvenile activity... I know that it greatly annoyed me, even though I never stopped doing my homework out of spite, and if this is why your son isn't doing his homework, simply explain to him that even though the assignments are futile and juvenile, that it still needs to be done. However, I still personally think it's horrible that your son is showing his knowledge, getting "A's" on tests, and isn't getting a passing grade, and this to me is far more pressing than him not doing his homework in the first place. That doesn't seem right to me... :nono:

daystar91 03-13-2006 05:07 PM

Re: Teenage son failing in school for not doing homework PLEASE HELP
The school he goes to is really tough on the kids..For example last year i was in the hospital for four days he had a test he had to bring home to have signed by a parent(The school does this with all their test good or bad).. Well at that time my in laws were taking care of my children while my husband was in and out of the house..I don't know why he just didn't have my inlaws sign it but for whatever reason he didn't even ask them..My son's grade on this test was a 98% in math because he didn't have anyone sign it, they gave him two days detention..Why punish a child for doing well on a test leaves me clueless..
So when i came home still not totally on my feet and my son told me about this i was fuming..I called the school, talked to the teacher, explained to her what was going on..She could careless, come on now..I could see if it was a bad grade hiding it away from me..
In middle school homework is so much of your grades and you have to have over 65% for a passing grade anything below is a F..Next year they want to raise it to 70% for the passing grade..When i went for my last teacher conference with my youngest son who is in grade 1 the teacher was complaining that her children is learning at a grade four level..I think sometimes they are pushing these kids to hard..

angelique5 03-13-2006 06:14 PM

Re: Teenage son failing in school for not doing homework PLEASE HELP
Sounds like the school is a little too RIGID...I think i'd be furious!! I've written many letters to principles over the years, and once got the superintendent involved... sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I don't think anything I ever asked or wanted them to consider was out of the question... (things like.. why are the good kids punished with the bad? Why was my daughter writing standards for homework when it was specifically 4 kids causing the problems that day.... i HATE that!)

I think I'd go to the principle with the responses you've gotten from his teachers. Yes, they have a lot of students, but they should CARE!! All your asking is for their freakin' INITIALS everyday!! Or maybe if you told the uncooperative teachers you were going to come sit in their classrooms a few times a week so you can keep track of your sons assignments, they'd shape up! Sheesh!! i really think they should be more willing to help. That's great he can stay after, but if he's pulling one over on you... couldn't he pull it over the teachers if he wanted to also??

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