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emphathy over son's breakup

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Old 03-12-2006, 11:04 AM   #1
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sassy040 HB User
Unhappy emphathy over son's breakup

ok, i know this prob. may sound strange to some of you, but my 19 year old son's girlfriend broke up with him friday night and he is very devistated and now i am so depressed about it! they lived together for over a year, we tried to tell them that was wrong,etc. but they dont listen at that age. well, i know there were times my son talked to her in a way he regrets now, and i am sure she tired of this. i know in my heart they both should be having fun, dating other people, hanging out with friends, etc., but to see him cry makes me cry! and also, she was like a daughter to me. i really love her, and regret that my son treated her badly at times. he was good to her also, but you know the saying, dont know what you got till its gone. i just need reassurance that this will get better, i know how first love breakups can hurt, like most of us go through, but when it happens to your kids, you feel the pain alll over again. how do i need to handle this situation, how can i help him feel better, and how can i feel better? :

thank you so much
hurting in arkansas

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Old 03-12-2006, 01:54 PM   #2
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rouge HB User
Re: emphathy over son's breakup

Reading your post brought me back to my first love heartbreak - back in Arkansas as well. He he

My mom felt pretty bad for me (this was 20 years ago) and I cried for days. I did get over it and moved on. Just one of those painful things life has to offer. I hope your son starts to feel better soon.

Old 03-12-2006, 10:25 PM   #3
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angelique5 HB User
Re: emphathy over son's breakup

Just be there for him... I realize you were close to her as well...but this is really HIS situation, and HIS lesson to learn in life... Time will heal things...

Old 03-13-2006, 07:58 AM   #4
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Kiera1595 HB User
Re: emphathy over son's breakup

My mom always stayed close to her first love's mom for 30 years after they broke up. They were also 19. So you don't necessarily have to end that relationship between you and her (after the wounds start to heal) Breaking up always hurts. And unfortunately you will always have break ups until you find THE one. It's sweet that you love your son so much that you really feel his pain.

Like others said, just keep talking and being there for him and time will heal. But that first big breakup is sooo hard.
"Go slowly, breathe and smile" Thich Nhat Hanh

Old 03-13-2006, 02:15 PM   #5
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Deena_05 HB User
Re: emphathy over son's breakup

I can feel how your son does in my own way. I'm 19, and I broke up with my first love and boyfriend of four years a little over a month ago. I can tell you that I love him still with all my heart, but the pain honestly does go away. 19 years old is still so young, and you have so much time to think about relationships and potentially settling down and getting married. It hurts the most at first, but as the time passes, the wounds heal.

There's no way to make him feel all. There's nothing you can say or do, but eventually his heart will heal. Remind him though that like Garth Brooks said "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers" =)

Old 03-13-2006, 07:20 PM   #6
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sassy040 HB User
Re: emphathy over son's breakup

thank you all so much for your replies, i really needed them. if i could see all of you right now, i would hug you! please say a prayer for my son


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