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11 Year Old Issues...

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Old 04-11-2006, 04:24 PM   #1
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ChefDisco HB User
Red face 11 Year Old Issues...

Okay. About 2 weeks ago my daughter did some tests in school, when the results were sent home, the piece of paper with the results was in pieces. I asked her why, she told me "Oh, um, a dog grabbed it." I hardly believed this. So i asked for the real answer. She sighed and said "Andrew, Tom and Katie ripped it up." I was shocked when i heard this. She continued "they first looked at it then just ripped it all up. They told me that if i get good results again, they'll beat me up". After she said that, i told her that she should try her hardest no matter what they do, and that i'll talk to the teachers. The next day i went to the school office and asked to talk to the teacher. They said it was fine if i went to the class. Once i got in the classroom, i noticed that 2 boys and a girl (i assumed this was Andrew, Tom and Katie) were making faces at my child, she was in tears and the teacher was asking her what was wrong. When i got the teachers attention, i explained to her that my child was being bullied by 3 children and i explained about the test thing and what i had just seen. I left after that but i could hear the teacher asking for the three children to speak to her as i closed the door. When my child got home, she was crying. Once i comforted her she calmed down then explained everything. The three children had bullied her yet again. Now, she has 2 weeks off and i have no idea what to do. I have even spoken to the head teacher, they will not listen. My child is a smart child who, in those tests, got Above average in English and Science and average in Math. I am proud of her, but i hate it when these 3 kids bully her. It just breaks my heart when i hear that she was scared to death by these three kids who wouldn't leave her alone. Now, she has important exams in May. I don't want her to not try her hardest because of 3 kids. Now, i know she likes to get good results (it builds up her confidence apparently) but i won't be upset if she doesn't, she has lots of chances to get good results at later times in her life. After the holidays are over, i'm going to try my hardest to stop these three children bullying her. Any ideas on how? I've already spoken to teachers...

Last edited by ChefDisco; 04-11-2006 at 04:32 PM. Reason: Forgot to say some stuff.

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Old 04-11-2006, 05:02 PM   #2
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 159
Smile Re: 11 Year Old Issues...

Hi I went through a similar experience with my 11 year old son!

I spoke to his teacher about the boy who was bullying my son, and apparently she had had a few other complaints from other parents, she basically dealt with it by consequence, if the child bullied he would have to stay in at playtime etc and obviously miss out on the certain golden times etc. Fortunately it stopped quite soon after the chat.

Obviously in your situation it is three children bullying your daughter, and obviously they feel they have strenght in numbers.

Firstly being 11, will she be going to secondary school soon? Also have you enquired about moving her to another class? I know you have sproken to her teacher, but have you spoken to the headteacher? Also this may not be convenient, but have you considered helping out in the class 1 or 2 days a week, I know that in the UK schools are always asking us parents for help in the classroom, to help with childrens reading etc. Maybe you would be able to observe, and I am sure they would be discouraged to bully if they knew that you were sometimes helping in the classroom.

You say her teacher has done nothing about it! bullying is a serious matter, and needs to be dealt with, letting the bullies know that that behaviour is not to be tolerated! You could demand that it is dealt with properly, by maybe suggesting the teacher speaks to the bullies parents! I know that if my son was a bully I would like to know about it!!

If all else fails write a letter of complaint to your local education office.

I was bullied badly at school because I was shy, in those days bullying was really ignoured and overlooked! But it does effect your self esteem as an adult, and it does stay with you. Nowadays bullying is taken much more seriously, and my sons school is always talking about it to the children, telling them that it is not to be tolerated!

I hope I have given you some ideas based on what I was going to do if my sons teacher hadn't of dealt with my sons bully as well as she did.

Also it sounds like these children may not be as bright as your child, and obviously not taught about respect to others, at home!

Good luck, I hope you get some help.

Old 04-11-2006, 10:53 PM   #3
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: california
Posts: 213
angelique5 HB User
Re: 11 Year Old Issues...

I'm no help here...this type if things is what sets me into "mother lion" mode, and I want to rip some kids heads off... my mind goes straight to things like, changing schools, etc... not the most logical, but that desire to protect our children is so strong!!

I hope you find a solution!!

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