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separation anxiety

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Old 09-15-2006, 09:04 AM   #1
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Location: Riverview,N.B.,Canada
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please help

I dont know whats wrong with my 17 month dd. I am a stay at hom mom but last week my employer that I used to work for called and needed a replacement for 2-4 weeks so I accepted. He has done lots for me in the past.
Moving on the shift is from 1-9 so day time my mother takes her and then my husband has her after 4:30. Well since I have been working I think I had 5hrs sleep. When I come home from woork at 9 my dd is up running and so hyper. As soon as I come home she will not leave my sid and will not go to bed. She just wants to be with me. She wants to play with me read books and she is so tiered she falls asleep for a second and wakes right up. I cant even put the TV on, she gets mad and turns it right off because she wants my attention to go to her and she is not acting like herself. She as always been an active child but she is so hyper I think she is so overtiered that when she's with my husband she just runs and screams. At night time I put her with me in my bed (wich I have never doon before) she lays with me but fights so hard to stay up with me, I have even put her in her crib and sat next to me so she can hold my hand, she falls asleep but as soon as I leave and I am very quiet she wakes up.
I know I am probably not making sense and just rambling but I dont know what to do I need sleep.
Does this sound normal

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Old 09-15-2006, 10:24 AM   #2
lex jude
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Re: please help

I think this behaviour is somewhat normal considering your circumstances--I mean your little one has spent her entire life with you so far being there with her, and all of a sudden you are gone during the day when she is used to have you there. And 8 hours can be a long time for a child! But the important thing to do is to acknowledge her feelings and fears. She feels abandoned, and the one thing you can't do is push her away...she will think you are punishing her. But you can't function with her strapped to your leg either.

So the best thing to do is to come up with a "chart" of her daily activities. Plan out the day from the time she wake sup to when she goes to bed, that way she will know what to expect and when. (like naptime, playtime, meals, maybe art-hour, whatever you decide) It won't seem so scary when you leave because she will know when you are coming back and what will happen when you are gone.

Plus you need to desiginate a special time for just you and her. Write it down on the schedule and show her that this time will be for you and her to do whatever she wants, like reading books, or going for a walk...whatever.

And the whole nighttime thing....well, that can't go on like that. I mean having a baby in bed with you is one thing, but as they get older they become attached to that and cannot go to bed without company if you continue with it. The bedroom should be sacred to you and your hubby, and off limits for chillins, unless you are comfy with them sleeping in bed with you until they are 9 or 10

I think what you can do is maybe go out and buy a special stuffed animal or blankey that will signify the bond between you and you daughter. Just tell her if she is scared, all she has to do is hug her bear or whatever and it'll be like she is hugging you.

These are just a few suggestions...I hope they help! My heart goes out to you....
He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.

Last edited by lex jude; 09-15-2006 at 10:26 AM.

Old 09-15-2006, 02:05 PM   #3
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mmbssb05 HB User
separation anxiety

Thanks for the stuffed animal idea, I will give that a try. We already have the blanky, everynight we cuddle up with her blankey and read books. She has also been brigning her blanky everywher's with her for the past week.
I deffinetly dont want to push her away and dont want to start her sleeping in the bed but when I put her to bed my heart breaks because its not just a normal cry its a help me cry and she bangs her head, so cant leave her there I go get her.
I did have a schedule for me and her and it was working great but I feel so bad, I feel its my fault that she is going through this. I guess its only for another week or so. I do find that 8 hrs is very long to be away for her I am going to ask that for the time remaining if I could go in for maybee 4 maybee that would help.

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