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Anyone regret the way they raised their kids when they were little?

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Old 11-22-2006, 12:00 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,031
hayley0610 HB User
Anyone regret the way they raised their kids when they were little?

Now that my kids are teens i look back at tapes and memories of the way i raised my kids, it always seemed i was yelling at them or being too strict or not very loving, instead of doing things with them and letting them be kids. when i see other parents with little ones doing the same thing i just want to scream, leave them alone they are only small once enjoy it!!!! i feel i was too mean or something, like i couldve been so much more mothering, maybe because when they were little i was young(very early 20s)and just didnt know any better or is this a regret lots of moms have?

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Old 11-22-2006, 09:44 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,104
tnmomofive HB User
Re: Anyone regret the way they raised their kids when they were little?

Hey I hear you
I too feel I have hollared at my kids too often in the past.I was very young too starting a family.I do not nessicarily think hollaring is never needed but I think it should be used very sparingly.I am now trying my best to not hollar often.I would'nt beat myself up over it too much though.Have you spoken to your kids about this now that they are older?

Old 11-22-2006, 08:20 PM   #3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 9
atilla2be HB User
Re: Anyone regret the way they raised their kids when they were little?

You know, we all have regrets on things we said or did or should have said or done, whether it was to/with our kids/spouse/family/friends. You can't go back in time and change it to something different. Everything we do or say will impact the future in some way, good or bad. Asking your kids now if you could have been a better parent should only be considered if you really want to know the answer. Many moons ago, my first husband asked me what he was doing wrong or what he could do better or something like that (credit to him that he actually realized he was doing something wrong); all I remember is sitting down and telling him not to ask unless he really wanted to know. An hour or more later, I stopped. Did it help? Helped me realize I didn't want to be married to him any longer. Didn't help him any, just ticked him off.

We all screw up; parenthood is the ultimate on-the-job training position and you get zero raises or promotions for a job well done. Personally, the fact that my 17 yr old son is a considerate, responsible, hard-working young man who will go out of his way to assist anyone in need yet refuses to take crap off anyone means I obviously did more things right than wrong, no matter how many times I remember wishing I had handled a situation differently. My 24-yr old is well-loved and doing just fine, thank you (he's autistic, lives in a care-giver's home for 24/7 monitoring, and holds down a job). This means I did my job quite well. I'm sure both boys would be thrilled to tell me of things I should or shouldn't have done, but it wouldn't change anything.

Bottom line, yeah, I regret bunches, but I loved a bunch more.

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