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4 yr old son plays with himself!

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Old 01-31-2007, 08:48 AM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2006
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willo1980 HB User
4 yr old son plays with himself!

I understand kids like to "explore" their privates and that's normal, but my son has his hands down his pants 99.9% of the day! He is constantly told to remove his hands from his pants at home and preschool. He pulls his penis out and plays with it, spits on it, etc. We have finally gotten him to pee in the potty, mostly consistently. Although it's not uncommon for him to at least have two wet accidents in a day. He still WON'T poop in the toilet, though! Every time we see his hands go down we tell him to get them out of his pants. We make him wash his hand constantly, that doesn't even deter the behavior! I have no ideas left as to what to try. It's getting embarassing.

Any ideas?

Last edited by willo1980; 01-31-2007 at 08:48 AM.

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Old 01-31-2007, 10:33 AM   #2
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nikki2006 HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

Hi willo.. Perhaps hes getting to much of a reaction from you? what about ignoring the fact that he has his hands down his pants for a while? sometimes kids do things becasue of the reaction they get from people and if you and daycare are constantly talking to him about it, perhaps its becoming an attention thing, maybe just ignore it a while and see what happens?

Old 01-31-2007, 01:15 PM   #3
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firenice HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

what nikki posted may be part of the picture and you may want to ignore it and see what happens. But, there is another element which may be at play My question is how old is your son? How long has this been going on? Might it be possible that he has a friend with whom he has been exploring private parts? That would be quite normal; however, it may have triggered excessive interest in private parts. Depending on his age, and if this behavior continues even when he's not getting attention for it, you may want to consider a counselor or therapist, one especially geared for children.

I would not advise the constant washing of hands and telling him to get his hands out. But, what you can try is to simply observe him when he does this. Don't say anything, don't smirk or smile, just be plain and unemotional as you observe. He may divulge some information if he feels it's ok and it's safe.

Last edited by firenice; 01-31-2007 at 01:17 PM. Reason: added a few sentences

Old 01-31-2007, 06:56 PM   #4
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1geoc HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

hey there

This sounds like my son also but he is fully potty trained. BUT use to have his hands down his pants all the time . I talked to the doctor about it she said.. Don't get mad at him but just tell him that touching himself like that is a private thing and he is to do it alone in his room.... and leave it at that and also you can try a reward system say to him If you don't touch your self the whole day in front of people at the end of the day you will get a treat a small one or whatever he enjoys!!! .. You will need to remind him a few times but he will catch on I am sure... then move it to a once a week treat. Try it might just work... he is 4 so he fully understands.

Good Luck
let us know how is goes.

Old 02-01-2007, 07:55 AM   #5
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hfalk95 HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

Is he Ichy? I know if my Daughter has any irritation she seems more intrested in her privates. A little powder helps. Like 1geoc said , we too had to have the conversation about it's "ok" if your in private. I tried to make as little of a deal about it as I could and answered her questions as generally as I could; it took a few weeks but we have not had a problem with public touching in almost a year. Good Luck.

Old 02-13-2007, 11:28 AM   #6
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plainjayne HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

when my son was 4 he used to play with himself at every chance he got! i just told him that its not something to be done in public and if he wants to 'explore' or play with himself its something to be done in private like in his bedroom. we are past that phase in life now as he just grew out of it and no body got annoyed shouted at or made to feel bad. i think if a child is being 'punished' through handwashing this could lead into numerous problems a child should never be taught that touching themselves is bad or dirty.

Old 04-08-2007, 09:24 PM   #7
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k_c_lady HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

Lighten up! He's only4! My son loves to play with himself. He loves to run around naked every chance he can get! The first thing his does when he gets home is take off his clothes! I don't think what he is doing as dirty. My son is only 3! He's just getting to know his body. He's not hurting anyone by doing it in his own home. You & everyone around him just needs to make sure it's not a public a fair.

However, the thing that gets me about your son, is spiting on his penis. Where did he learn that? My son has never done anything like that.

I have alway told my son that he is the only one that plays with his "pee pee". No one else. Lets hope thats not the problem here. I just hope he's just trying to get your attention.

Best of luck keeping it in his pants! Kiesha

Old 04-09-2007, 08:56 AM   #8
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mkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

My son was told at 3 yrs of age by an older boy in school that if he didn't keep a hand on himself the potty monster would steal his wee-wee. It took three months to get him to keep his hand out of his pants. He still grabs himself and plays with himself in the tub.. but he does not fear the potty monster stealing his wee-wee.. gads that was a horror to correct.
His playing and fondly is greatly minamized. We never told him it was wrong, just not nice to do because.. he went through a urinary tract infection phase which seemed to aggrevate the matter.

Just try not to make that big a deal of it. Tell him to stop that is not a nice thing to do. And divert his attention. It worked well with my son and at 4 yrs of age he can be reasoned with easily now.

If we learn by our mistakes, I am working on one hell of an education.

Last edited by mkgbrook; 04-09-2007 at 08:57 AM.

Old 04-09-2007, 02:14 PM   #9
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athome1 HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

I agree with Keisha. I think that with my 2 boys, it's national masturbation month all year long in my house. My oldest is finally potty trained and the touching has decreased a bit. If you are still having trouble with potty training, speak to your doc. They assured me when I asked, to give him time and space. When I stopped pushing the issue, he did it himself.

The spitting thing also confuses me.

Good luck!

Old 04-10-2007, 01:56 PM   #10
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jillr HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

I think this is unusual. I would talk to a child psychologist. It is normal for this type of behavior to happen sometimes, but if he's doing it constantly, there could be a problem. Especially if he's spitting on it. That raises a red flag to me.

Old 04-10-2007, 04:11 PM   #11
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missTee HB User
Wink Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

my son is 2 and has his hands down his pants alot. mostly when he is relaxing on the couch. I actually think its quiet funny. I took a picture of it and sent it to daddy (hes' deployed over seas) and wrote: "Look, we have a new Man of the house!" It starts so early. He doesn't really 'play' with himself yet the bath he might be more interested in that part...sometimes he'll squeeze it hard and it looks as if it would hurt...but I guess if it hurt he would stop...I don't have a penis after all. I think that he might be doing it because of the attention he is getting from it. Yes...touching your privates isn't the most "cleanliness" of washing hands to promote good hygiene is great...but make sure that he understands thats why he is washing his hands because like someone else mentioned, you don't want to create any long term side effects from that. It could pose as a problem when hes' older.I have never made a big deal out of my son putting his hands down his pants. I shrug it off as a "guy thing" and thats just how it should be looked at. I know some woman don't agree, but men have a special bond with their penis' that we would never understand.
So try to pass it off as much as possible. Obviously making sure he is told that it is private. That we keep our privates to ourselves. I would watch that "spitting" on it though. Unless he walked in on your husband (or other male figure in the house) masterbating where "spitting on it" is likely to happen. ( some do masterbate that way) other than an accidental walk in...I would be watchful of that one...its a bit too mature (in my oppinion) at this point to have thought of 'spitting on it' by are pretty clever and can figure out alot of things on their own. Just keep watch...thats all. Like I said, could be as innocent as catching a glimpse of an older male figure doing it. Hope it works...I'm actually about to post about this same subject...but of my 4 year old daughter!!
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:02 PM   #12
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jessparm HB User
Re: 4 yr old son plays with himself!

The boys I nanny for, the oldest, used to play with his penis alot. Once he told his mother that he was feeding it! They told him to only do it in private, and ignored the behavior. It soon stopped.

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