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I don't know what to do

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Old 03-15-2007, 08:24 PM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 444
Sherri-Lynne HB User
I don't know what to do

Okay I am soooo fustrated with my sister. My niece is 4. She is so neglected it really bothers me. Okay let me go on my rant.
She is 23 and works nights. They live with my mom right now her fiance is away at military school. My mom goes home from work and then picks up my niece at the sitters and gets her into bed. My sister says out all night and parties. Has 2 boyfriends along with her fiance. Then she gets home and sleeps all day until she goes to work. Thank heavens for my mom. She gets up with my niece and gives her breakfast and plays with her until she goes to work. My niece will not wake my sister up at all. She says mommy is to mean. Also the thing that bugs me the most is bath time. She will put her in the bath and go to the other end of the house and wait 20-30 min and then go and get her out. I don't leave my DD who is the same age alone in the tub for even a minute. She never spend any time with her DD. She is on anxiety medication and does drugs. Which my doctor has told her not to do because the medication does nothing at all. I am so fustrated. I just don't understand how you can treat a child like this. I wish she would sign over custody over to me but she won't. If I call children's aid then she is put in a foster home and I wouldn't get her. I already looked into that. I mean to at least my mom is there. She does take care of her pretty much all the time. If she was on her own it would be a different story. If I freak out on her then I will have no contact with my niece. I couldn't bare it. I just don't know what to do. I am excpecting my 2nd child in Aug. I just wish that I could raise my niece until she grows up. Oh yeah and her fiance asked to have another child with her. Just so that maybe she will settle down and not party all the time. Thank goddness I could talk her out of that. He is no better. He doesn't spend any time with his DD when he is back from the miliatry. I know it will be hard on me if I can take over and raise my niece but we will do it. And I will not call children's aid beacause I will never see her again. How can I get her to sign over custody? Sorry about my little rant but it bothers me so much and I am scared when for when they move out on their own. Thanks for any advice Sherri

Last edited by Sherri-Lynne; 03-15-2007 at 08:27 PM.

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Old 03-16-2007, 07:10 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,006
Ratatosk HB UserRatatosk HB User
Re: I don't know what to do

Could you maybe suggest temporary custody, or just caring for her "until she gets back on her feet"? Do you know anyone with social services or who has connections with social services that you could speak to in confidence. Maybe they wouldn't place her in foster care, but in a family members custody.

Old 03-16-2007, 09:41 AM   #3
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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Sannah HB UserSannah HB User
Re: I don't know what to do

Sherri, in the USA the State will place a removed child in the custody of a family member first before placing in foster care. This arrangement is cheaper for the State and it is better for the child. But also in the USA the child needs to be neglected or abused in order to be removed. Your mom is meeting your neice's needs so she would not be removed in the USA. If your sister does move out, however, this could all change. Do you get to spend time with your neice? Thank goodness for your mother.

Last edited by Sannah; 03-16-2007 at 09:41 AM.

Old 03-16-2007, 02:06 PM   #4
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 444
Sherri-Lynne HB User
Re: I don't know what to do

yes I do get to spend time with my niece. I take her as often as I can. But no in Canada they just get put in a foster home. There is no way for us to be able to take her. I asked her today if I could take her for a week or two as soon as I start my maternity and she said no problem. So I was hoping that I could just keep telling her that I want to help her out and watch her. Yes I as so thankful for my mother, I am scared for when she is not around. Thanks for the replys. Sherri

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