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step children

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Old 05-09-2007, 09:34 AM   #1
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: sudbury
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tinja123 HB User
step children

Well.... i am not sure if im in the right thread.. but i am a a mom of my 11 yrs old girl and a step mom to three kids.. 14 girl.. 16 girl. and a 18 boy(who just mouved in about a year ago.. he is from my fiance second marriage .. she was preggy with him when they got together.. he raised this boy until he was 13) well i have been with my fiance now for 3 years...i have many problems.. with rules and money.. i quit my school bus job to go back to school to work in with the elderly..i have one month left.. i had to quite that cause we were not making any payments.. i had discused this with nick.. (fiance)and he said we would have no problem with me going to school..well i hade to quite.. im so sad and fustrated.. and he doesnt pay any bills on time.. we are behind of our gas.. hydro.. and rent...and van payments.. i once took the responsibilies of the bills but he would get upset cause thre wasnt much left afterwards..but everything was paid and we had food. so i just took this for awhile and gave him the responsibilites..i dont by myslef anything or my daughter....he gives alot of money to his kids that dont wont to work... the youngerst one is going to be 15 in july so she can work after.. the son is working.. the other one does not want to work at all...the problem hear is that he doesnt not see my fustrations hear...we got some help through red cross for our bill as long as HE went to budget counselling.. well I went .. and the man said that we spend too much in groceries.. 400 a week...the kids(his) mine needs to ask.. eat everythin.. we bought 3 cases of 12 pepsi they drank in all in 2 days.. they eat everyting.. anytime.. they dont have any rules.. no bed time.. his oldest is dating a 19 year old and she is gone every weekend...he alows boys in the rooms..I am ready to fall down hear.. his oldes step son gives me attitude.. like opening cupoards in my face and argewing with me all the time. told his dad to shut up.. they dont clean up after themeselfs.. i have to hide my towels(all 40) because they end up putting theme all over the floor and using my sheets once they dont have anymore...... they dirty dishes and the youngest cleans it up..his oldes puts dirty pads on floor... i mean.. thre rooms are thre rooms.. but around my house they need to respect.. they are old enough.. i am going throug someting hear.. he did not even consider my feelings when i had to quite school.. .this is realley bothering me.. i tried to sit down and talk with him.. but it comes back to him.. its like i need to take all the responsibilites for every body.. i have not see his kids pick a broom or vacuum... my little one is the one who has the rules and the chores.. and she sees not sure what to do anymore.. i love him soo very much...

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Old 05-20-2007, 12:51 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Ireland
Posts: 10
Aido35 HB User
Re: step children

Firstly I'd like to say , you must be a very strong woman to take on all of this.
One idea might be to sit everyone down together and discuss the assues, but it is important the your fiance stands behind you fully in everything you suggest, otherwise they might rebel against you even more.
To get him to realise the disipline issues, you might start reading bookson the issue and involve him in what you read, ideas supposedly coming from outside source might be easier for him to work with.
How about this idea as an off the wall idea.
Put a complaints box on top of TV and, and say arguements will not be entertained put complaint in box , and every friday evening you wil all sit around table and open the box. Again it is important that he is on your side all the way.
Best of luck I hope you are able to sort things out

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