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concern for kids

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Old 05-21-2007, 11:45 AM   #1
Join Date: May 2007
Location: rochester, mn, 55901
Posts: 2
viking2 HB User
concern for kids

I am a divorced father of 3 ( 10yo boy, 9yo girl ,5yo girl ). My ex-wife started hanging around a neighborhood family about 3 months ago. They have a 15yo boy, and 14 yo girl in high school. This family is at my ex's house every single day and night. The mom is there every night smoking and watching TV with my ex. The kids spend every weekend and holiday with this family, and not much time with friends their own age. My 9 yo talks non-stop about her friend who is in high school. There was also an incident in which my son came to me with. This 15 yo high school boy was talking to him about restraining and doing sexual things to some girl. I talked to my son about it, and told my ex I was concerned. After I voiced concern to his mother, my son said he made a mistake and the kid didnt really say it. I asked where he heard it then, and he has no answer. I am concerned about the safety of my kids, and the fact that the ex seems more concerned about her friendship with this women than her kids. She now tells me they are good people, and have a "family relationship" with her and my kids. This seems like an awfully FAST and somewhat strange relationship. Do I have right to be concerned?

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Old 05-22-2007, 08:09 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: upstate,NY
Posts: 729
kdel HB Userkdel HB User
Re: concern for kids

Yes be concerned please. I saw this and couldn't not reply. We moved into a new neighborhood last year ( I have a 4 year old son, soon to be 5). At first it seemed great, kids next door for him to play with, nice neighborhood etc. etc. These kids were 5 and 7 at the time. I started to notice little things at first like the kids asking him to play and then telling him 5 min. later they didn't really want to. they would invite him over and then tell him to go home, he would of course cry. Then I started to overhear things they were saying to him that just didn't seem right for this age. for example the younger one said she wanted to kill herself, then my son told me that the older one (boy) was always talking about knives and horror movies he's seen. He tell awful stories that are definitley not true. THEN the girl exposed herself to him. This was done it such a way that it could not be dismissed as a silly childhood docter game. It has since escalated to the point where she has hurt him physically and just a few days ago did something to his puppy (the dog was in my fenced yard, Chainlink) And she said to my son I bet I can make you cry and she had a battery in her hand and said I'm gonna feed it to your dog, my son said don't it's poison (I was outside just not right there) when I heard that I came around the house and she said I don't care if it kills your dog, it will make you cry, well she did it ( i did not get there fast enough to stop her). This was the last straw and I blame myself for not stopping this friendship before now. My gut told me to and I ignored it. I will never do that again. My son is now devastated because he has no one to play with (remember he's 4 so really doesn't understand all of this) He is angry at me because I had a blowout with the parents(not in front of him) and no matter how much I try to explain he just wants to play. Now everyday is a mess. Listen to your gut and do something before it gets completely out of hand. I sure wish I had because I now have a very sad, angry little boy. I wish you the best of luck.

Old 05-22-2007, 09:42 AM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 439
meechieny HB User
Re: concern for kids

I think this is something serious. From your post I can gather that your ex wife has custody of your children. What you may want to do is contact your lawyer and talk about filing a Petition. You can then have a "Law Guardian" assisned to your children and they will represent your children and look into the situation further. Good luck.

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