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13yr.old feels he can do what he wants

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Old 06-05-2007, 07:19 PM   #1
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Unhappy 13yr.old feels he can do what he wants

I have a 13 year old son. he was recently diagnosed with ADD/ODD, he is on medication for it. BUt he still continues to disobey me. Feels that he doesn't have to listen to much of what i say, or when i ask him to do something, it's when he's ready to do it. I know this is not to do with the ADD/ODD, i honestly believe that it's just a typical teenage behavior. He's have to take summer school, and 2 Academic Tests, in order to pass to the 7th grade. the main reason for his failing was just not turning in or doing the work. He's not a bit interested in school. I have told him that he will go til he graduates. even if it takes til his sister, who is 4, graduates before he does. He's not dumb, he just chooses not to do it.
I told him tonite, if this does not stop.......i will see what i have to do to put him in a detention center. this is not new behavior, it's been going on since he was about 8, just getting worse. I know alot of it had to do with the ODD/ADD, but i can say, it's much better than it used to be. he has on 2 occassions snuck out his bedroom window at nite, after i do to bed. he told me,,,,,,,,,he wants to stay out late. we're talking, he came in the house at 2AM!!! i was up and outside waiting for him the last time. I have taken things away, i have grounded him, and i have quit buying things for him completely!! and he can't seem to undertand why.
he is even seeing a counselor, but he says things that he knows she wants to hear and of course he sees a psychiatrist for the ADD/ODD, so i know i've done everything for him that i possibly can. I even had him admitted to a behavioral center for 72 hours. which broke my heart.
I just don't understand WHY he continues to be this way.
HELP!! please
any suggestions would be helpful

take care

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Old 06-06-2007, 01:16 PM   #2
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Re: 13yr.old feels he can do what he wants

Sounds like he needs a mentor, and you need some help/break. I'm assuming that dad is not in the picture. I have a 14 year old, that went thru/going thru the same behavior as your son. I know it's got to be hard for you, because it's hard for us, and he has both parents there to give him support. His mom works in the school system in the library, and I work for a a hospital. Like you, we put him on meds for a while. I soon took him off, fealing like they weren't doing him any good. Long story short. Being a christian/church going family, we kept him active as much as possible with the other youth at church, and in bible study.
He finally got to the point that we took some family counseling with a child therapist. He informed his mother and I that, there was nothing we could do to make him talk, or share his fealing. He felt like all adults were liers, being the reason why kids didn't trust them. My story is a long one, so I won't try and tell it. Long story short, we continued to pray, talk and disipline him, and thanks be to God, he's a hundred percent better. Lol.. He's a b student, going into the 9th. grade, and on the schools football team. Do we still get atittude? You bet! but, he's working on it. Hang in there, and use all the resources available, that includes youth groups. There is hope..

Old 06-06-2007, 02:03 PM   #3
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Re: 13yr.old feels he can do what he wants

He has gotten better. and no, his father is not in the picture, never has been. I am a single parent......i have him, 13, an older son that is 18 and a 4 yr. old daughter. He was doing awful in school, he has to do summer school and testing in 2 other classes. this was mainly because he chose NOT to do the work, or he would do it, and not turn it in. His grandmother and i did everything we possibly could to get him through school, also his aunt too. Things would be absolutely terrible without the medication. I never thought that ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) could be a medical problem, but it is, and it takes the normal teenage behavior to a totally entire level!!! so things have gotten actually 100% better since he started the medicine, and that we found the right one, as he has been on several different ones, until we finally go to this one. now i just have to deal with the typical teenage behaviors, and we're getting there. I've learned not to be ANGRY and not to yell at him all the time. i talk in a nice calm tone, and when he has his comment, which he seems to most of the time, have the last word, i ignore it and just let it go. and now that he realizes that i will NOT argue with him anymore, neither will his grandmother, things have gotten better. I work 12 hour shifts, so now that there is no school, he has to go to his grandmothers or if he can, stay the nite at a friends house and stay there til i get home from work. as i will not leave him home alone. not that he does anything wrong, he's usually outside playing most of the day. but he tends to leave lights on throughout the house and his tv.

have a great day! thx for listening

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