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daughter wants to live with dad...

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Old 09-16-2009, 11:41 AM   #1
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daughter wants to live with dad...

My 14 year old daughter, whom is very moody these days, has decided that she would like to go live with her father. Some background; has been apart of her life, began to see her with some regularity, when she was 10, she generally will stay with him and his parents one or two weekends per month. He is not an ideal parent, doesn't hold much of a job and drinks often. Last weekend my daughter through a temper tantrum demanding I take her to her dads. In the end I ended up dropping her off with her 4 large bags of clothes. If he was more together I would feel more secure that she wants to give this a go, but I don't trust his parenting capabilities. After 12 years of having no interest in raising her, he now decides he is going to make an effort and get an apartment and bla bla now...this is becoming in her mind a great option. And gets her away from her crabby old mom. Anyway I just am not sure how to handle the situation. Child authorities I am sure would bring her back but she is likely to bolt from me and then where will she be...back at dads or worse! I'd like to say we could alternate weeks or for her to give it a try if she wants but, he just isn't a fit father.

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Old 09-18-2009, 07:17 PM   #2
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Re: daughter wants to live with dad...

What is the reason for her wanting to live with her dad?
Is he still living with his parents? or did he actually get a job and an appartment.
Be careful with your decisions, she is only forteen, if he has a drinking problem you can be exposing her to different dangers. It's your responsibility to make the best choices for her as she is still way too young to make the right one's for herself.
It's your job to keep her safe, it's your job to make sure that she is happy where she is, what is the reason for her wanting to go live with dad? It can work either way, she may even see what dad is all about and come running back. Can you rely on his parents to take care of your child incase he's not capable on certain days? Make sure you think of everything before you let her go.

Old 09-18-2009, 09:35 PM   #3
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Re: daughter wants to live with dad...

I would not let my child be in the care of anyone who I had the slightest concern about, much less drinking, and with little parenting history. There is NO way. I would instead focus on my daughters needs being missing, enough to cause her to want to get away from you. But that is just me.

Old 09-21-2009, 11:59 AM   #4
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Re: daughter wants to live with dad...

I am also the single mother of a 14 yr old girl and a 10 yr old boy. My both my kids have tried the I'm gonna go live with my dad card. I told them both no... the courts decided it would be best for them to live with me. The dad left us 7 yrs ago, cleared the checking acct. left us hanging. But during the past few years he has improved as a father. But I still won't let them live with him, but I do let them spend every weekend with him, I have found the more time I let them spend with him the more time they want to spend with me. I believe your daughter will see the light and come home soon, Keep in constant touch with her and make sure she knows she is always welcome home, remember you are her rock! Kids know more than we give them credit for, the day will come that her eyes will be open and she will realize the sacrifices you have made for her. Don't give up, 14 is a very hard time for kids and parents, but like all things this to shall pass. Good luck and best wishes to you and your daughter.

Old 09-21-2009, 12:27 PM   #5
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Re: daughter wants to live with dad...

I think she just wants to go there because she figures she can get away with more!

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