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  • Daughter out of control

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    Old 08-12-2005, 03:11 PM   #61
    poohbear7676
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    Re: Daughter out of control

    Hello i have read all your story you need to controll the roles your the parent she is the child and if is is telling her sister she is going to hert her well baybe she needs help or bootcamp i have two childern have never touched eather one they tryed playing the how far can i go game to and they know they can't get very far the are scared of me and they know if they do something i told them not to do i would go in there room and say something right in front of ther friends or boyfriend or girlfriend there is no need for her to treat you that way unless she thinks she the parent and your the child i am sorry she out of line put the spy thing on her computer or move the computer somewhere you can see whats she is doing my daughters computer is right in the liveingroom where i can see every thing she does if i am not around she can't go on because if she did i would throw it away.You better get controll be for it's to late.

     
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    Old 08-12-2005, 03:13 PM   #62
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    Re: Daughter out of control

    where could i get on of thoes book because you never know whats going to happen lol

     
    Old 08-12-2005, 03:14 PM   #63
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    Re: Daughter out of control

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Kimia
    Hello,

    My daughters are much younger than yours, my oldest is 8 and has ADHD, she was out of control, no matter what we did we were the bad ones. I was ont he brink of needing a funny little jacket and a padded room, Then i took a parenting class and from thier i went to a seminar it was called "Smart Discipline" and while there i bought a workbook on the Smart Discipline Plan, and it has been 3 weeks since we put the "rules" into affect, I have just had the easiest, less stressfull 2 weeks in 8 year, i strongly recommend it.
    If you would like more information, I have the workbook right here and would be happy to give you some ideas.***secret*** dont tell anyone....lol, but i have copied the entire workbook onto my computer and would be more than happy to email you the info. If interested email me. [email protected]

    also this program is for kids ages 4-17 but would probably work for anyone who lives at home and is should be expected to follow the rules.

    Good Luck
    Kimia

    p.s. YES YES YES take that computer out of her room, who cares if she hates you for it now, you would hate yourself if she decided to run away with someone she met online and ended up in a ditch somewhere......it's happening all the time, and VERY scary!
    where could i get on of thoes book because you never know whats going to happen lol

     
    Old 08-12-2005, 06:59 PM   #64
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    Re: Daughter out of control

    Naybr, I haven't read through all the pages in this post. But I am sort of relating to all this, since I can still very clearly remember being 15 and having some of those same rules. And, yes, I went through a stage where I hated my parents but they were not "cool" parents and my dad was strict disiplinarian (SP?). So I did have some grounds for my hatred and still have some conflicted feelings for them.
    Starting with no boys in the bedroom . . . as much as I hated this rule my parents would call me right out of my room if I tried. Or if they okayed me being in there they would make me leave the door open and one or another would show up in there from time to time.
    Another rule you should lay down is that your daughters B/f's must at least say hello to you and your wife. If he can't respect you, he is not respecting your daughter.
    Remember this is your house and your rules and she has to respect them whether she likes it or not. It was a hard pill for me to swallow but swallow it, I did. I also realized when I got older that although I still don't like it, it makes good sense.
    If I tried some of the things your daughter is trying I knew my dad would "kick my *** clear into next week". Knowing that he really wouldn't do that but would discipline me in some very serious fashion made me hesitate to do those things. Your daughter has to know you are serious enough to carry through.
    If your daughter decides she doesn't like things and wants to spilt, let her. She will come back. That world out there will be harder and scarrier on a 15 yr old then you can ever be. The only way she can make good money out there and have a bed to sleep in, is on her back. I know people who at that age chose to leave and they soon figured out that that profession brought in the most money, the quickest. Not pretty, but very true. My dad always told me if I didn't like it, I could leave. I thought about it a million times but could never figure out where I would go or what I would do for the long term. Oh sure, I could stay at a friends house for some time, but for the long term, not really.
    Whatever you do decide, follow through. I had a friend whose daughter was a slob. She would always leave her clothes laying around. Never picked up after herself. Well, this lady told her daughter the next time it happens, I am going to pick up everything and put it in the garbage, I am done warning and cleaning up after you. She followed through and her daughter came to her asking about a certain one of her outfits and she told her if you run real fast you may be able to catch the garbage men. She followed through and seriously did this. Let me tell you, there was never a mess again.
    I am telling you this as it was less then 10 years ago I was 15 and I hated my parents too. But I do know now their rules were for my good. I know I didn't follow this whole post so maybe I repeated but I had to put in my thoughts.

     
    Old 08-18-2005, 11:15 AM   #65
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    Re: Daughter out of control

    Hi,

    I am not a parent, I am only 21 (female). My dad used to embarass the crap out of me. I would do the same thing, he would tell me no boys in the bedroom and I would do it anyway. He would come up stairs and tell me infront of the boy that we were to go downstairs, I would get furious.

    As for the internet stuff. I think it is fine that you have spyware on there, but by all means don't tell her, then she will just feel like you are invading her privacy. I think it is good that you ahve spyware on there, that way if she was doing anything illegal (getting drugs), or looking other things up you would know.

    I used to use alot of hot water, not like your daugter, but I would take my sweet time, you know what my dad did?? Turned the hot water heater WAY down!! She won't stay in the shower if she runs out of hot water. Then he put duck tape over it so that I couldn't move it.

    Pretty much I would just say as everyone else did, lay down the law. Explain to her that even though she is your daughter, this is YOUR house, and she will abide by YOUR rules. I don't know about where you live, but where we live there is a youth home. I know a girl that was sent to a youth home and that straigtened her out quick. Any questions I would ge glad to help, with a younger woman's perspective on things.

     
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