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  • 2 month old baby and temper fits....

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    Old 09-15-2003, 07:59 AM   #1
    siren1024
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    Post 2 month old baby and temper fits....

    My 2 month old is active, alert and happy. Most of the time, a joy in every way. But this kid goes from zero to PO'd in about 3 seconds. And he screams to the point of coughing and gagging. Why? For any number of reasons, but mostly when I can't get what he wants fast enough to suit him. It's usually hunger, tiredness, or when he wants to be held, but it's usually out of impatience. I'm breaking my neck to get the bottle made and he's screaming. Or I'm trying to drive somewhere and he's in the carseat screaming. Or I'm trying to do laundry and he's upset because I put him down in the swing screaming.....

    I'm afraid to try the "let him cry" approach, because I don't think it will work. Sometimes I have to let him cry for short periods until I can get to him, but he shows no signs of letting up and he sounds like he's going to make himself sick. I've actually had to blow in his face before to make him catch his breath because he was SOOOOO bright red, kind of turning purple. I swear, I have never seen a baby with a temper like this.

    He could be full, dry, and not in pain, but God forbid, I'll have to put him down for a second to do something, and all hell breaks loose. I promise you all, I can tell a cry of temper from a cry of distress with him. I know they say babies this age are too young to teach them anything, and just to pick him up and soothe him. But I've also heard that they are beginning to figure out "If I do this, then mommy does this..."

    I've also heard that if you respond to their cries promptly, they won't cry as much, but he seems to be getting more and more demanding instead of less. My mom even called him "Little Hitler" the other night!

    I'm trying to do this all by myself right now since my hubby's away in the military. And I'm about at the end of my rope! Any advice??
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    Old 09-15-2003, 08:45 AM   #2
    teresa26
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    Quote:
    Originally posted by siren1024:
    My 2 month old is active, alert and happy. Most of the time, a joy in every way. But this kid goes from zero to PO'd in about 3 seconds. And he screams to the point of coughing and gagging. Why? For any number of reasons, but mostly when I can't get what he wants fast enough to suit him. It's usually hunger, tiredness, or when he wants to be held, but it's usually out of impatience. I'm breaking my neck to get the bottle made and he's screaming. Or I'm trying to drive somewhere and he's in the carseat screaming. Or I'm trying to do laundry and he's upset because I put him down in the swing screaming.....

    I'm afraid to try the "let him cry" approach, because I don't think it will work. Sometimes I have to let him cry for short periods until I can get to him, but he shows no signs of letting up and he sounds like he's going to make himself sick. I've actually had to blow in his face before to make him catch his breath because he was SOOOOO bright red, kind of turning purple. I swear, I have never seen a baby with a temper like this.

    He could be full, dry, and not in pain, but God forbid, I'll have to put him down for a second to do something, and all hell breaks loose. I promise you all, I can tell a cry of temper from a cry of distress with him. I know they say babies this age are too young to teach them anything, and just to pick him up and soothe him. But I've also heard that they are beginning to figure out "If I do this, then mommy does this..."

    I've also heard that if you respond to their cries promptly, they won't cry as much, but he seems to be getting more and more demanding instead of less. My mom even called him "Little Hitler" the other night!

    I'm trying to do this all by myself right now since my hubby's away in the military. And I'm about at the end of my rope! Any advice??
    it sounds like your baby is "high-needs." mine was that way, too. it can be quite a challenge. especially if your dh is in the military and deployed (mine is in the navy and we've been through some deployments ourselves).

    first, take a deep breath and realize that you are right - babies this age aren't doing things to manipulate you or get their way. crying is their only way to communicate.

    have you thought about wearing your baby? perhaps a sling or a front carrier? i wore my son for the first nine months because he would scream when i would put him down. if he wasn't nursing or sleeping, he was screaming. i walked him day and night. lol and that carrier that i had really helped me a lot. my arms would've fallen off had i had to hold him while walking for hours. well, okay, they wouldn't have really fallen off, but they felt like they might!

    i know it is hard, but it'll get easier with time.

    good luck.

     
    Old 09-15-2003, 11:39 AM   #3
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    Teresa26: How old is your highs need child now and how is the behavior. I also had a high needs baby and I knew from the start, that things were different comparing him to other babies his age. It turned out that he has ADHD. I am just wondering if there is a connection and if the high needs symptoms are an indications what's coming later on.

     
    Old 09-15-2003, 05:01 PM   #4
    teresa26
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    my son is now 4.5 yo. he is very talkative and incredibly bright. then again, i'm very biased. lol

    eta: none of his drs have ever mentioned ADHD to us. and i know that he has a great attention span (can focus for very long periods of time on tasks that he is interested in (eg catching bugs, etc).) and i don't really think he's any more hyperactive than any other 4 year old boy. like i said, he talks a lot, but maybe he gets that from me.

    [This message has been edited by teresa26 (edited 09-15-2003).]

     
    Old 09-15-2003, 05:14 PM   #5
    teresa26
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    ok, i just looked up ADHD since i know hardly anything about it.

    Quote:
    According to the DSM, signs of inattention include:

    becoming easily distracted by irrelevant sights and sounds
    failing to pay attention to details and making careless mistakes
    rarely following instructions carefully and completely
    losing or forgetting things like toys, or pencils, books, and tools needed for a task
    Some signs of hyperactivity and impulsivity are:


    feeling restless, often fidgeting with hands or feet, or squirming
    running, climbing, or leaving a seat, in situations where sitting or quiet behavior is expected
    blurting out answers before hearing the whole question
    having difficulty waiting in line or for a turn
    as far as the inattention goes, i don't think that describes ds all that much. i mean, yeah, sometimes he forgets where he puts his sketch pad, but i think that's pretty normal for his age.

    he does get distracted from time to time (like when we try to work on his letters and numbers), but again, not sure if it's any more often than other kids his age.

    he pays great attention to details and follows instructions very well.

    and as for hyperactivity...he does most of the things listed, but i'm not sure if it's any more than other kids his age. this is my first child and i haven't been around an incredible amount of kids before, but the ones i do know act the same way he does.


     
    Old 09-16-2003, 12:07 PM   #6
    mindovermatter
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    Oh boy, I know how you all feel. My son was the worst baby ever born I think lol! From about 2 months old, he cried non-stop for no reason at all. Doctor's found nothing wrong with him. We tried everything. He cried less with me than with anyone, but he still cried. He made me cry. He even made friends of mine cry, if they kept him for me. lol He is 6 now and is fine. So to this day, I still do not know why he cried all the time. Good luck to you all!!
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    Old 09-16-2003, 04:54 PM   #7
    coppertop
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    Call me crazy here, but don't those symptoms describe every little boy?
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    Old 09-16-2003, 07:16 PM   #8
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    Kedan my 13 months old was like that from birth he would hold his breath until his face turns purple and he still does that and my neww little one is starting it and as for the car seath HA forget that he will cry from the moment he hets in it until hes out the doctors will tell you to let him cry and if he passes out so be it it wont hurt him of course I do not agree with this but thats what they say. I wish I had some advice for you but I dont cause im in the same situation but your not alone

     
    Old 09-17-2003, 04:57 AM   #9
    teresa26
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    coppertop, if i remember correctly, the site also said that the child had to do those things more than the average child his age.

     
    Old 09-27-2003, 02:33 PM   #10
    gillian30
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    Just keep picking him up and caring for him. He's only an infant, this is most difficult stage, and will pass in time. Getting a sling to carry him in was a great idea. Studies have shown that in cases where babies are held more, they grow faster and are healthier mentally and physically, so it's good all the way around.
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    Old 10-06-2003, 06:03 PM   #11
    *AnGeL*
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    My baby girl was very unsettled also. She always wanted to be held, and even when held she still just screamed at me, not cry just scream and she would go soo red in the face and almost choke from her sobbing.
    Every time i got her to sleep and put her down, she would scream again. I was having a hell of a time trying to make her bottles too. I couldn't even settle her long enough to wash and steralise one of her bottles in time for a feed, and i have three. I couldn't go to the toilet, and i was still in my PJ's by the afternoon with NOTHING done.

    She is now almost two months old, and she is getting much much better. She has her days when she will throw tantrums all day, and some days (like today... ) she will sleep soundly, and wake up and play by herself until i get her bottle ready... and i think.. WHAT AN ANGEL... Until her next unsettled day (Usually she has about 3 or 4 unsettled days a week now... good compared to 7 days!).

    My baby girl has a bit of reflux, but i know when she is in pain and not, and some days i think she is just having a tantrum. I can't do anything right for her, and it makes me feel like an incapable mother.

    I guess what i am saying is... I THINK they eventually outgrow it. She is! It is such a big change for them coming into this world with pains and stuff, they just want to be snuggled, and i guess they don't know how to handle them so they just scream!

    A sling sounds like a great idea, and do you use a dummy? It helped my daughter heaps. If i give my daughter a dummy, it will usually settle her long enough for me to rush to the bathroom, or wash her bottles up. Things you NEED to get done!

    Maybe you could speak to a paediatrition also because there may be an underlying problem to your babies crying (colic, reflux, milk allergy). I know what you mean by the tantrums though, but it is still worth being doubly sure you bub is just throwing a tanty.

    Sorry i couldn't be of more help, but i really hope things get better for you. They have for me! Your baby is still very young, give him time. Until then, love him and care for him, as they are only babies once. Enjoy the snuggles you give him all day. Sometimes i wish i could get more done, but it is a lovely time for you and your baby.

    Good luck with it all anyway!

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    Old 10-09-2003, 07:31 PM   #12
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    Babies that young do not have "tantrums". They are crying to communicate and get their needs met. Just because he's dry, fed, and just had a nap doesn't mean he has all his needs met. Maybe he does have reflux and needs special attention to that. Maybe he's too hot, too cold. Maybe he just needs to be held, talked to, sung to, rocked gently(the sling is great for this need. You can get things done around the house and attend to him at the same time.)

    At 2 months he's still adjusting to being outside the womb, where he was held comfortably all the time by you; it doesn't feel right to him if he's not near you, able to hear you, smell you, etc. And neurologically he's going through major adjustments too--whoever said this is the toughest time (for you and him) is right! Are you breastfeeding? If not, make some time, many times a day, for some skin-to-skin contact with him. This is very important and sothing to fussy babies.

    Just listen to your instincts and your baby. Even the most hardcore cry-it-out experts say that 2 months is way too young to let them go without being soothed.

     
    Old 10-10-2003, 11:03 AM   #13
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    I totally agree with Nolamama. These are not "tantrums" at all. He's communicating the only way he knows how, the only way nature gave him. It's not very pleasing to the ears but oh well! lol. Keep the physical contact going as much as possible, and keep the comfort levels high. He'll cry less within another month or so.
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